This is Bullshit (7/?)
Title: This is bullshit (7/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: A phone call, a question
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: OK, so it’s not a standalone. It’s a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. I'm trying something a little new...Ryan's pov is in blue italics and Bren's is normal black text. Not sure if it helps at all to put it that way, let us know if you like/hate it so we know to keep doing it or not.



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I stretched as I saved my poem analysis on Robert Frost. I really hate this class, stupid AP English. I hate writing, and I hate poetry even more.

I need a break.

This week has been crazy busy.

Getting up, I walked over to my bed and smiled as I saw Ryan’s number.

Wow, it’s been three days...and I have an important question to ask...which I hope he accepts...

I think I should give him a call.

Retrieving my cell from my backpack, I went through my contacts, finding Ryan’s name and hitting ‘ok’.

I was in bed after a long day of exams. I had neglected to tell Brendon about them because most kids in high school don't know what real exams are until they hit college because high school the 'exams' are just glorified quizzes at the end of the year, not like we have in college. I heard the phone ring for the first time in three days, the first time because I'd shut off my phone to study. I picked it up even though I had wanted to turn it off again and go back to sleep, I'd pulled an all nighter the night before and was exhausted.

"Hello?"

Wow, he sounded like shit, but I wasn’t gonna tell him that, don’t want another bad phone call...

“Hey, Ryan, it’s Brendon, what are you up to?”

Ok, I was excited to talk to him, but I didn’t want to sound too chipper, cause I know how annoying that is when you are crappy, and people around you are happy.

I smiled a little to myself and laid my head back against the pillow, letting my eyes close again. I yawned as I snuggled into my sheets.

"I'm in bed, taking a nap...or trying to at any rate. What about you?"

I pulled the covers further up over me so only my naked arm was exposed to what I thought was the cold bedroom.

“Oh, I don’t want to keep you from sleeping or anything, cause no offense, you do sound tired, I just wanted to make sure we are still on for Friday and ask you a question.”

I paced the room, watching my neighbors mow and weed their front yard.

"Its okay Bren. You're not keeping me, I'll fall asleep as soon as I get off the phone, whenever that is. And yeah, thanks for telling me I sound like shit." I laughed softly to myself so he knew I wasn't pissed, I knew I sounded like shit already.

"So whats the question?" I yawned again and mentally swore off all nighters.

Good, he wasn't pissed, but that is how I am, I call it like I see it...

"Um, cool, I'll make it quick then. See, next Saturday is my prom, and I am taking my friend Amanda's girlfriend from Phoenix, and, well, cause you know homosexuality is shunned on in, well, anywhere, I told her I would take her girlfriend as my date, if she would take you as mine, cause I mean, I would like to see you dance, and all dressed up in a tux or something and I was just wondering, I mean, that t is if you even want to go with me and don't think it completely lame..."

Breath Bren, breath...

I gulped, hoping he got all that...

I frowned a little, my mind trying to catch up with his words and I felt myself floundering. Theres a thing that happens during exam week when you are done with some of your hardest exams, your brain goes on vacation until you rest and eat and then it comes back and lets you use it again.

"Um...What was the question Bren?"

I yawned again and curled up into a small ball in the bed, feeling like I should have grasped what he was saying, but missing it completely.

.....

Um...he did miss the whole thing.

Or was he missing it on purpose?

Maybe it is a bad idea...

But, I guess I'll never know unless I ask again.

"Um, I was wondering if you would go to my prom with me..."

I smiled and thought how cute that was, how cute he was.

"So we go to the movie Friday and you want to force me into a tux on Saturday and make me dance in public?"

I had gone to my own prom and had a good time, but I had never expected to go to another one, let alone be asked by Brendon to go to his.

"Or do you just figure you'll get me to go because you know you'd get laid after?"

I kept my voice fairly joking so that he knew I wasn't seriously thinking that.

"I, well, I"

I never thought of that...

Do I want to fall into that cliche? Sex on prom night?

Although, I would like to see him in a tux..

But, wait, did he answer my question?

"So, was that a yes or a no?"

I smiled to myself at how he sounded flustered on the other end of the phone.

"You're cute when you're all flustered you know, Bren."

I thought about it quickly and chewed on my lip a little. "I wouldn't really be your date though, would I? Is that what you said? Or did I imagine I heard that?"

He thinks I'm cute?

He thinks I'm cute!

SCORE!

But, yeah, he does do that to me...get's me flustered. Me, head strong Brendon, turning into a pile of mush...

"Well, no, not technically, you will be my friend's date, and I will be her girlfriend's date, and we'll be dates when we get there...er...if that makes sense..."

It did to me!

"Your friend is gay?"

Yeah, my head was completely exhausted and that was making me slow, extremely slow.

"Does her girlfriend go to your school too?"

I reached up and ran my hand through my hair, my fingers twining around a lock of it while I thought and listened to him on the other end, even if it was just his breathing.

"Do you mean you'd be with me all night? That we'd be on the dance floor together too?"

'Wow, I thought I was a bad listener," I laughed, "But, yeah, she is gay, and her girlfriend is form Phoenix, and...yeah, you and I will destroy the dance floor!"

I swayed my hips, imagining Ryan dancing with me.

"Sorry Bren, but I haven't slept since Tuesday night, and even then I only got a few hours. I'm going on like...four hours of sleep in three days. So I'm really out of it. But...if its not okay for me to be your date...is it okay to be on the dance floor with me?"

I rubbed at my eyes and licked my lips. I wasn't saying no, I just hadn't said yes yet either.

"Oh," well that explains it, "I'm sorry then, hey, maybe we can talk about it on Friday, how does that sound?"

He still didn' answer my question, and honestly, I don't know if I had the balls to meet him on the dance floor...I mean, at least for a slow dance.

"Yeah, we can dance..."

I hope that is the answer he wanted to hear.

"No, its okay, just if I'm out of it, that is why. I don't mean we can't talk."

I yawned again.

"Sorry...so, are we going to rip up the dance floor like Brian and Justin did on Queer as Folk."

I smiled to myself because I had actually watched that show and loved that scene, although it wasn't quite the same because I wasn't quite that much older than Brendon.

I gulped.

"Yeah, let's just hope that the night doesn't end the same way as theirs..."

Ok, so maybe this wasn't a good idea, hell, Spence and Amanda are the only two people at school who know I am gay...even though I have been for a little over two years.

"It won't Bren. I'll be good and I'll molest your friend in public instead of you."

I chuckled softly to myself while I continued to think.

"Is there a big party or something after the prom? I know there are usually after prom parties at hotels or someone's house. Am I going to have to be a good boy in front of everyone all night?"

"Ok, good, and yeah, there is like an after prom thingy at a casino, but my parent's won't let me go."

Gee, I sound like a baby...

"But, maybe I can talk them into letting me have a small get together at my house...they are opening up the pool this weekend, so that could be fun...and then, if not skinny dipping, then maybe a game of," I started singing, "Naked Peek-a-boo..."

I laughed and shook my head a little.

"Why won't they let you go to the after prom thing? Just because its at a casino?"

I chewed on my lip as I was thinking because I would rather spend the night with Brendon and just him than with a bunch of people at his house. What fun would it be to have people around and me not able to kiss and touch him?

"Yeah, they think I'll turn into a gambling alcoholic or something...and well, that' not the Mormon way..."

I laughed, imitating my dad.

"But really, neither is dating a guy...so I already lost..."

I sighed, "Oh, will you still be in school then?"

"I have a couple exams on Monday, just the last ones, and then I'm done with classes for the summer."

I frowned a little to myself.

"Is that the only reason they won't let you go? Because if you're not old enough to gamble they won't even let you on the floor. So it really shouldn't be a concern."

"I dunno, my parents are weird..."

Not really wanting to tell him the truth, but knowing I could trust him, "Well, actually, my sister went to it two years ago and ended up getting a hotel room, and the chaperons busted in and there was a whole bunch of alcohol and stuff, and my sister was having sex, most likely and she almost didn't get to walk at graduation...so, it's one of those things where, yet again, my sister ruined the fun..."

Wanting to change the subject, "Cool, you are done on Monday, that mean you can seek into my window that night?"

"Is that the only after prom thing thats happening Bren? Theres nothing going on at someone's house or something for those not going to the casino?"

I wanted the chance to spend the night with him without having his parents there. Without having prying eyes. In reality I wanted him to say he was going to someone's house and come here instead, but I wasn't going to ask him to do that.

"Yeah, I'm done Monday, and then I have to pack up and move out of the dorm."

Geez, what the hell was he getting at, he knows my parents are strict, and i can't go to the casino, I offered for him to stay at my place.

"Um, well, there is a few parties I guess, but I don't really want to go, and Spence invited me to stay the night cause his parent's are going out of town, but I really don't want to watch him and his girlfriend make out all night...so, I dunno..."

"Cool, so what are you doing for the summer?"

"If you aren't going to the casino, would your parents let you be out all night? We could go to Spence's and go to another room while he's making out with his girlfriend, or we could go there for a while, leave them to privacy for a while and then come back so you can say you spent the night there...unless your parents won't mind if you don't."

I stretched out on my bed, snuggling deeper into the covers and letting my eyes glance over at the clock.

"I'm probably gonna be in LA for most of the summer if everything works out right."

What?

I felt my chest tighten and tears come to my eyes.

Why did I let this happen? I was falling for a guy I had only talked to 4 times and had a bad experience meeting...

"I guess we'll have to make it work, the Spencer's place, thing," I tried not to sound as hurt as I was as I spun in my computer chair, "Cause with you going to LA, I may never see you again.."

"You'll see me again Bren. I'm not going to be in LA forever, at least not yet. I'm working on getting an internship for the summer. And if that goes well I may have it until I graduate. And then, when I graduate, I could have a very good job in LA. Theres the possibility of transferring to LA too, but right now it still depends on the internship. I haven't heard yet. So I'll still be here for a few weeks I think."

I heard the tremor in his voice, I knew me going to LA was upsetting to him and that made me a little sad because I knew what he was thinking.

"As far as Spencer's thing...we can always leave and come here. I don't want to force you into anything Bren."

"Oh, ok..."

That made me feel a little better.

"Good luck with that, then..and I mean," I smirked, "I guess we do always have the phone."

I laughed, fiddling with my sock, "But, hey, I never thought of that, we could go to your place. But, will you still have the dorm next Sat.? I thought you moved out on Monday."

I laughed softly.

"You're right, I won't. I'll be at home. I thought you meant it was this Saturday. Well, we can go to mine if you want, I think I actually live near Spencer, so you could have cover if your parents pressed the issue."

For some reason i was waking up a little talking to him.

"You're right, we do have the phone, but you won't exactly be saying goodbye to me right after your prom. What're you doing this summer and then in the fall?"

"Are you sure your house would be ok, I mean, we can come to mine."

Ok, I'll admit, I already promised I would go to his dorm Friday night, but two weekends in a row? I'm not sure if my body would listen to my mind if I was alone with him, and I am definitely sure I am not ready for sex...

"This summer, I have a job at the smoothie place in the mall, classy, I know, but I need to save up money cause I am going to U of N in the fall."

"Do you really want to be at your house with your parents there? If thats what you want, I'll be there. But if not, you're welcome to come to mine. There'd be no one there to get in the way of anything we'd want to do, no one being nosy, no one checking up on us...its entirely up to you though Bren."

I chuckled quietly at the smoothie place comment. "And I'll be sure to stop by to get a smoothie before I head off to LA."

'Well, I do make one hell of a smoothie!"

I was afraid to tell him I was afraid...

"You wanna know the truth?"

"Well, I'll have to try one eventually then."

I smiled to myself.

"Yes, Bren, I want the truth. Whats wrong?"

Here it goes...

"Well," I cleared my throat, "I'm afraid to be alone with you, not like I am scared of you or anything, but that I am afraid of what will happen. I know I sound cocky and stuff on the phone, but there is a big difference between a senior in high school and a freshman in college. And I know that if I am alone with you, I'll want to try and do things...new things, you know, like, have sex or something. And don't get me wrong, I have thought about sleeping with you since the first time we talked, and I'm sure it would be amazing. I'm just scared, and well, worried, cause you aren't gonna be around, and neither will I, and I don't want it to be just sex..and damn do I sound like a girl right now. it's just, Ryan, I trust you, I think, and I hope you will never hurt me or take advantage of me..." I sighed, "I'm just...scared..."

I felt better after getting that off my chest, hopefully he heard it all...

Yeah, that took me by surprise. The entirety of it, not one thing in particular.

"Bren..." I thought for a moment. "I won't try to get you to do anything you don't want and aren't ready for. Okay? I respect someone who isn't ready for sex. But sex isn't the only thing we can do in being alone. And if you want to try things, I'm okay with that if you are. I may not be around, but then again I might. The Internship may fall through. I don't know. But I'm not just sitting here thinking that I'll get you alone with me, strip you naked and fuck you till you can't walk. Not that it wouldn't be a lot of fun, but that isn't the plan. As I said, there are other things we can do. I'm not looking to take advantage of you. And I don't want you to be scared of me."

I smiled.

"Thank you Ryan."

"I may love sex Bren, but that isn't all I'm about and I'm not into forcing someone into anything. So you're welcome Bren. If you don't want to come here Friday, you don't have to. We can do the movie and then go get coffee or something before you go home."

Okay, so I wanted him here. I wanted him in my bed and I wanted him to stay there for the night. But I was telling the truth. I wasn't going to force anything on him, especially not myself.

Ok, now I couldn't stop smiling.

"No, I want to come over Friday, plus, my parents say it is cool that I am staying with my 'chemistry tutor' to get in some studying for a test on Monday, so, now that we are on the same page, I think I'll be cool...plus, you are right, there are PLENTY of other things we could do...Meeting Sam is my first priority though!"

I laughed. "You told them you're staying with your chemistry tutor, huh? And they're okay with your chemistry tutor being a college student? I'm guessing you didn't tell them we're going to a movie first before coming back here?"

I stretched out on the bed, sliding my hand down over my sheet.

"And don't worry, you'll meet Sam...and depending on what you're comfortable with...you may get a little intimate with Sam too."

"Nobody said anything about a college student..."

I laughed.

I raised a brow.

"Are you trying to get me hard? Cause I've already jerked off twice today, and it's getting late..."

I laughed again and shook my head to myself.

"So they don't know I'm a college student? So am I meeting you at the theater then? so they don't see me? And no, I'm not trying to get you hard Bren, just saying that at some point you and Sam are going to have to get intimate. It could happen Friday if you're comfortable enough with it, but if not, theres other times."."

"I see, and yeah, the theater is cool, I told them I was going to a study group and a few of us were gonna stay all night, and they were cool with it...Oh, you know the new theater, the one by the Lowes down off of 32? They have the stadium seating and the chairs recline and rock and stuff!"

Ok, I sound like a twelve year old.

"I am SO ready to meet him...I know how to get intimate!"

Sometimes...

I laughed softly. "Yeah, I know where that is. Reclining seats huh? That could prove interesting at another time I think."

I smiled and ran my hand over my stomach softly. There was something about softly running your hand over your stomach that is soothing.

"Do you? So if we walk into my room and I tell you to strip so you can get intimate with him you're okay with that?"

My lips quirked up into a cocky half smile.

"I, uh, well...maybe not right away..."

There I am again...getting flustered...

I glanced at the clock, shit it's getting late.

"Ok, so, like, 7, at the movies, it there isn't one right away, we can go get something to eat. Is that cool?"

That's it, change the subject!

I chuckled softly.

"I love when you get flustered and uncertain Bren. It makes you all the more enticing and it makes the idea of getting to have you all the hotter."

I dropped the topic and nodded to myself.

"Okay, seven at the theater, no problem. My exam ends at noon on Friday so that'll give me time to take a nap and take get ready and all. I probably won't have eaten, so we can either grab food or just get popcorn or something at the theater."

"I'll have to remember that and use it to my advantage somewhere down the road..."

Smirking to myself.

"And yeah, seven. Good luck with your exams, and call me if anything comes up, if not, I'll see you then, Night Ryan!"

"Oh? And you think it'll be to your advantage and not my own?"

I chuckled and sighed. "Okay Bren, sleep well then tonight. I'll let you go. Night."

"Definitely my advantage, I'm a great actor! You too, sweet dreams and all that jazz. Night."

I hung up the phone and smiled.

Yet again.

See what he is doing to me?

Crawling into bed, I set my alarm clock, and counted the hours until our first date as I fell asleep.