Youbrat's Writing Archive (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mmm___pete) wrote,@ 2006-09-07 19:20:00 |
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This is Bullshit (10/?)
Title: This is bullshit (10/?)
Authors:howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: The morning after
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write.howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black text.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 9
I woke up seriously five times in the middle of the night, I felt bad, cause Ryan was completely snug and flush up against me, but at one point, his knee was in my bladder, so I had to take a piss.
He looked so innocent when he was sleeping, like right now, it’s a little past 8am, and he’s lightly snoring with his head tucked under the pillow we are sharing like he is trying to block out some noises. I could get used to times like these, cause for once I don't feel so young and naive, he looks like the child. Not that I mind being the immature one, I just wish I could prove it to him that I am not.
I think I'll go brush my teeth before I wake him up, I am starving, and if I want to practice anything this morning, I'll need to have fresh breath.
I started to slowly wake up, feeling utterly relaxed and rested from the night and although I did not really want to wake up, I knew I had to, there was a reason in the back of my mind but I could not really grasp it to remember what it was that was making me get up. Whatever it was, I knew that I wanted it.
I made to shift slightly when I felt Brendon, and it came crashing back to me. I smiled softly in my sleep and wrapped my arms tightly around Brendon's waist as I started to really wake up. I licked my lips slightly and moved one of my hands up and over his side a little, letting my fingers caress his skin lightly. One of my favorite things had always been to wake up with my body pressed against someone else's, and thats what I was doing, it felt amazing.
"Morning."
Dammit, I didn't make it in time. Oh well, he has morning breath too I suppose. I held back a giggle as he tickled my skin. See what I told you? As soon as he is awake, I turn into a five year old.
I ran my hand threw his hair, "Morning Ryan," smiling at him, I wiggled closer so I was face to face with him, "Thanks for last night, I had fun. You know, practicing. I wish baseball practice was like that. It’d make life a lot easier."
I forgot, I'm a morning person, and a night person, and a day person, I hope he is, cause I really don't want to talk his arm off or bore him to death.
I smiled softly and slid my hand slowly up over his chest. My eyes slowly opened, and I looked into his face. He was adorable with bed head and everything, I think he even had pillow imprints on his cheek. It was adorable. But he was also far too awake for me, I did not want to be awake in the morning, but I assumed he knew what time he had to be home, so we should make the best of our morning.
"Just the practicing? Thats what you had fun doing Brendon? Is there ever going to be a day when you won't be practicing anymore?"
I pouted and raised my brows, "Hmm, well, once you think I am good enough to play with the big kids, I’m all game!" Smirking, I moved my hands to cup his face and run my nose against his, "You think I'll be good enough sooner than later?"
I sure the hell hope so, he was too fucking irresistible. I mean, I thought his wide, bright eyes were something, but his sleep induced, almost slits from the bright sun were enough to make my heart skip like seven beats. And then! He'd have to give me mouth to mouth, but then, I could pull a Sandlot thing and fake it so I can make out with him. I need to write this shit down! I'm gonna win an Academy Award before this relationship is through!
I smiled softly and nodded, licking my lips quickly as I looked up into his eyes, just watching him before whispering, "Yeah, I think you'll be good enough sooner rather than later."
I tilted my head slightly and leaned forward, pressing my lips softly against his, just starting a slow and lazy good morning kiss, just leaving it lip on lip for now, not trying to make it go too fast. I wasn't too concerned about morning breath, everyone had it, and if you were to be in a relationship you had to get over it or you'd be running to brush your teeth or pop a mint as soon as you woke up every morning, and what fun was that to not wake up in the morning and start to have sexy fun together? In my opinion it was no fun, and I'd rather deal with morning breath than lose early morning intimacy.
I pressed my lips back against his. Keeping my hands planted firmly on his cheeks. That’s right! I will be better sooner than later, I'm gonna make damn sure. Oh, a Taking Back Sunday song!
Great, now I have Miami stuck in my head...Yep, and there goes the head nod. I hope he doesn't notice.
I pulled back laughing, "Sorry..." I snorted, "I keep getting these damn songs in my head. Like, Clothes Off by Gym Class Heroes, I went the the bathroom last night at like 3am, and some guy was like, 'Dude, we have to get these clothes off' and since them, I've been going,"doing my best to imitate Patrick, "'We have to take off those clothes' over and over, and now, I have Taking Back Sunday...." Shaking my head, I looked back towards Ryan, "Sorry..." I muttered.
I laughed softly and shook my head, snuggling back down and into my pillow, letting my eyes slip closed. "Brendon, you are definitely amusing, you know that? Do you always think in songs?"
I smiled and looked up at him again, yawning softly as I did and reached up to caress his cheek softly. "How did you sleep? Besides having to go and experience the bathroom here with guys obviously going at it in the bathroom?"
I chuckled cuz I knew pretty much exactly who those guys probably were, and if Brendon had actually seen them he probably would have been freaked out, which I think would have been very funny.
"Yes, I do actually, Spence and I can have conversations that are just song lyrics, I usually sing though, and he taps the beat. We are just cool like that, you know. Oh, by the way, his band is playing a show tonight! We should go, well, I know I am, my parents already said I could, and there is a small get-together afterward, which are always fun!"
I did my best grin so he would say yes, either way, I was gonna go, cause I promised Amanda I would tell her all about tonight.
"Oh, and I slept marvelous!" I blushed, "I like having someone next to me, it just feels nice, I dunno," I leaned in and pecked him on the lips again, "You're body is so warm and soft and stuff."
I smiled softly and reached up to touch his cheek softly. "Brendon, you don’t have to be all bouncy so early in the morning. People in college who have no classes on Saturday sleep in nice and late and are lazy getting out of bed. At least, people who are me. Please tell me you're not going to try to get me out of bed anytime soon? Because I may have to kick you out if you are."
I smiled softly, not answering about the show and get-together after. I wasn't quite sure if I should go or not. I would like to spend time together with him, but we had our first date, and he didn't want to be seen with me in public, I wasn't sure making our second in just as many ways be just as public.
"I'm glad you slept well. And I agree, having someone to sleep next to is amazing, it is so relaxing and so comforting. It is something that you don't need much to get used to."
Pouting, he didn't answer my question. I curled up next to him, nuzzling my face into his neck, "Yes, I am always this hyper in the mornings, but I can tone it down, I hate sleeping in, and I am starving!" I sighed and pulled back, "But since you are so freaking adorable here in your bed, I will save you the drama and head out actually. My dad and I have to go to the pool store today. In exchange for me going to the show tonight, I have to help open up the pool. So, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can hang with Spencer," I clapped my hands.
"Sorry, I'm loud, but really, call me if you wanna go tonight. It's just a group of friends and stuff, plus you can meet your date for the prom!" Leaning in, I kissed his cheek.
"You don't have to leave Brendon. I'm sorry I'm not all awake and excited about being up in the morning. I like being up at night, I am not so excited about the mornings. But you don't have to leave. I like having you here in bed with me...its lazy...relaxed...and allows me to do this...."
Trails off and leans in to kiss him softly and slowly again, wanting him to understand that half the fun about being in bed with someone is the lazy morning wake ups with them and the lazy kisses, touches, and eventually, fucks that are made better by being lazy in bed in the morning.
"...but if you'd rather go, I'll let you. I won't keep you if you need or want to go."
Kissing back I smiled as I pulled away, "Well, if you keep that up, I'll stay for a whole week!" I smirked before returning to kissing him again, I know he was tired, but I was getting kind of horny, so I deepened the kiss, rolling my body against his.
Where was this action coming from? I knew I had it in me, but I didn't know I would use it!
I moaned into the kiss, sliding my hands up his chest as I continued to rock against him, thumbing his nipple, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip for entrance, which he granted.
Moaning in surprise and delight, I raised my eyebrows and continued kissing him. I pulled him closer to me, my body arching into his touch a little as I kissed him even more passionately. It was what I loved, what I loved having in the morning, what I loved having period. It was what I missed. Waking up without someone to kiss and touch and feel close to was becoming something I hated.
I slid my hand over his side, slipping my hand under his back and sliding my fingers over his spine. I turned him onto his side so I could touch each and every part of his back. I loved his skin, and I wanted to touch all of it. I got a little bold, sliding my hand down over his thigh and then back up before tugging the elastic on his boxers down, pressing my fingers to the skin beneath.
I pulled back and moaned. His hands were like fire on my body. Nothing I had ever felt before. The pleasure was so intense my eyes began to water, as chills ran up and down my body. He was right, there was a lot more to do that just fuck. I bit my lip as he slid his hand into my briefs. I thought about asking him to slow down, but my body told him otherwise as I started a rhythm against his body.
Trailing my mouth across his chin and down his jaw, I sucked on his adam's apple, arching into him, then back to nibble and suck on his nipple. Following the same wet trail back up to his lips, we met in an opened mouth kiss while hands and hips continued to assault each other.
I groaned and slid my fingers up into his hair when he went down to my chest and kissed him harder and hungrier when he came back up to my mouth. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly right then but I knew it was fast, too fast maybe, but to me it almost didn't matter and I just wanted to have him.
I pulled back after a moment, panting hard and turning him into his back, looking down at him and licking my lips as I looked over his face, leaning down to kiss slowly along his jaw, moving my kisses up along his jaw to his ear and whispering, "Tell me to stop and I will Brendon. Or tell me what you want."
I bit onto his earlobe softly before moving my lips down to his neck and running my lips over his skin, kissing and softly sucking on his skin. I had an idea, a thought, even if I couldn't have sex with him, we were already grinding against each other, and it would be no different, if he were open to it.
"Oh fuck..." I managed to let out. It was all too much, this was all too much, But I'll be damned if I tell him to stop. I could feel his erection against mine. And dammit. Fuck I can't think right now, and all I can comprehend it a potty mouth, so I need to stop thinking and start doing.
I was moaning like a cheap whore. The way he licked his lips and ran his hands across my chest while pinning me down was enough to make me come right there. Or run away, but you know I'm not thinking with my brain right now...fuck that shit.
Hitting his elbow, he collapsed on my chest, as I ground up against him and attacked his throat. I hope we weren't too loud, but honestly I could care less, I needed this.
I think...
"Brendon....fuck....Bren..."
I bit my lip and pulled back, pushing myself up a little and pulling away from his lips, breathing hard and looking down. I pushed the covers back and moved up onto my knees, looking down at his body and smirked softly as I slid my hand down over his side and to his hip, keeping my eyes on his as I tugged gently on the edge of his boxer briefs before leaning down to lick over his hip. I moved off the bed, tugging on the sheet and laying it over him.
"Take them off Bren."
My eyes shot open. I finally came to my senses.
"No!" I shook my head, pulling myself up and off the bed, "I can't Ryan, I can't not now, I can't," I continued to shake my head as tears managed to fall down my face. I couldn't look at him as I reached for my jeans, throwing them on, slipping on my shoes without tying them, grabbing my bag, and heading out the door.
Fuck. What did I just do? I punched the wall as I screamed and ran as fast as I could out to my car. Not even looking back.
"Brendon!" I saw him leave and swore to myself under my breath as I tugged on a pair of pajama pants that were on the floor and tore after him. There was no way I was letting him leave like that, no way I was letting him run off thinking whatever it was he was thinking. Even more, there was no way I was letting him leave with tears in his eyes.
I ran out of the building and stopped him right in front of his car, grabbing his wrist and pulling him against me, wrapping my arm around his waist so he couldn't get away as I held his back against my chest.
"Bren...Bren I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean it like that. I swear to you I didn't mean it like that." I whispered against his neck and ear. "Please don't leave like this, please, let me explain. Please!"
Tears fell even harder when he pulled me into him. I dropped my head back on his shoulder, swallowing, "Fuck Ry, it's not you. Goddammit it. I can't even be seen with you in public, why the hell should I be worthy of sex?" I wiped my snotty nose on my arm, "I just, if I would have stayed in that room, we would have had sex. As much as we both told ourselves not to, it would have happened, ok, and I wasn't. I trust you Ryan, I just," I pulled out of his grasp to face him, "I just don't trust myself with you. I don't know when to say no..."
"No, Brendon." I reached up and touched his cheek. "If you had stayed in the room we would not have had sex. Please, come back upstairs with me for a few minutes. Please, so we aren't talking about this out here. I promise, you can sit on my chair, and I will sit on the bed. I will stay as far away from you as you want me to. But please come back upstairs, and let me explain. I'm not letting you leave here thinking what is in your head without getting to explain myself."
I looked into his eyes, keeping my hand on his cheek softly before whispering quietly. "Please."
He looked serious. And his hard-on was poking into me awkwardly, and this really isn't the place to be having this discussion. And he is hot when he is begging. But I really need to get home, so I can go to the concert tonight. Which he will or will not be attending with me. Damn the decisions.
I broke the eye contact, "Ok," I muttered, "But on one condition, that you will go to the concert tonight. You don't have to go with me, but at least show up, that is all I am asking."
I nodded, looking at him for a few moments before nodding again. "I'll go. I'll go to the show tonight. Now please...come inside with me."
I waited for him, just looking into his face and waiting for him to agree. I was so scared he would just get in his car and leave though and not come back because of what just happened. But I needed to explain to him, and he needed to hear it too.
"You know, if you weren't so fucking cute when you begged, I would be out of here in a flash. Wait, a flash?" I slapped my head, "I am such a dork."
I released myself from him and headed towards the door, "I'll hear you out, but remember, it's not that I don't trust you, it is that I don't trust myself around you," we headed up the stairs to his room, "I know you would have stopped is I asked, and I am sorry I overreacted, but I was scared, I guess...or something, I dunno, but, as long as you will give me a chance and go tonight, I'll give you a chance to explain."
I nodded and followed him back into the dorm. We went back upstairs and into my room. I closed the door behind us and walked over to my bed, sitting down on it and kicking off the shoes I'd shoved my feet into, still being only dressed in the pajama pants and not caring.
"I wasn't going to push you to have sex with me Brendon. I swear to you I wasn't." I looked up at him for a moment before looking back down at my hands. "I...I really...I mean...I just thought...with how things were....what...what we were doing."
I bit my lip and looked up at him. "That we could take a step further. Get...comfortable being naked around each other, but not...not fully...I wasn't even going to look at you."
I held back a laugh, Oh how the rules were reversed, but, I knew I could play stupid, I wonder if he could too? To coy me back into bed with him? I looked him up and down, he seemed sincere, but the fact that he couldn't look me in the eye was throwing me off. Dammit, what do I do?
"Then, what was the point of getting naked, I mean, we could have done the same amount of things with our clothes on as we could with our clothes off, unless you were gonna give me a blow-job, but I have a feeling you are the one who primarily receives on that."
I sat down next to him, leaving a safe distance away as his boner was still evident in his pajama pants, and waited for him to explain.
I shook my head and closed my eyes. "You know I'm more experienced with sex stuff. And yeah, we probably could have done just about the same stuff with our clothes on as off. And no, I wasn't going to give you a blow job."
I turned and looked at him, chewing on my lip a little. "We were barely wearing anything to begin with. I..." I sighed and closed my eyes, putting my head into my hands, feeling rather embarrassed that I was going to have to actually explain what I wanted to do when it was so much more fun to just show.
I took a breath and sighed, turning and looking at him again. "I was gonna get us naked, you under the sheet, me on top. Let you....let you see and touch me if you wanted...and just...continue as we were...except...just a sheet between us...instead...instead of boxers..."
For the first time of the morning, I am speechless. And a fucking idiot. I missed out on Ryan, naked on top of my, with nothing more than a sheet between us...
What the fuck?
The first time in my damn life I grow a conscience...and this is what could have happened? I could have got off with Ryan on top of me, with just a filthy sheet?!!?!
I slapped my head into my palm, "I...I'm a idiot!"
I shook my head a little. "You aren't an idiot Brendon. You didn't know what I was planning, and you didn't know that I wasn't going to...I don't know, jump you or whatever." I bit my lip and leaned back against the wall. "I was probably rushing you anyway."
I looked over at him and shrugged, keeping my hands against my body so that I wouldn't reach out and touch him. "I'm sorry I went so fast. You told me that you weren't ready, and I pushed it by trying to get you naked. I shouldn't have, I really shouldn't have. We've only known each other what, two weeks? Three? It’s too fast to get you naked. I'm sorry."
I watched as he held and distanced himself from me, he really was being serious, and now I felt bad, but it is getting late, and I do have to go...
"No, Ryan," I gripped his shoulder, "It's ok, and thank you for not pressuring me, cause you could have, I mean, you had full advantage of me, and you didn't use that..so, I should be thankful for that, and yeah, we haven't know each other that long, so it is smart not to get naked the first time we are civil towards each other," I glanced at the clock, “But, I have to get going. My dad won't let me go tonight if I don't help out, so promise me you will be there, and I promise I will make it up to you."
I smiled before getting up, reaching across him, placing my hand on the wall for balance, and kissing him on the lips before turning to leave, "Oh, and thank you for coming after me, that meant more to me than you will ever know."
I watched him and nodded a little, moving to stand up beside him, and I pulled his lips against mine, kissing him softly and slowly before pulling back again. "I'll be there."
I went over to my desk and quickly wrote something down before turning and handing it to him. "Email me the details so I know where to go and when, okay?" I smiled softly and nodded to myself a little, reaching up and brushing the hair from his forehead.
"Go on then, go help your dad and all. I wouldn't want him to keep you from going tonight. I'll see you there. So don't worry. And...you're welcome. But I seriously could not let you run out without explaining what my intents were. Really...I wouldn't have...but...its probably better we stopped when we did. Have a good afternoon though, and I'll see you tonight." I smiled softly and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Catching his face on from my cheek, I turned it to plant him on the lips once again before I left, "Ok," I pulled back, "See you tonight," I tapped his nose, "And you are so damn cute when you apologize, too bad we weren't fucking, cause the make-up sex would have been amazing!" I winked before turning around and walking out the door.
I hopped in my car, and sang the whole way there. Something was gonna happen tonight. I just know it! Haha, and I am so not gonna tell anyone, well, except Spencer...
Title: This is bullshit (10/?)
Authors:
howido_fics & youbratPairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: The morning after
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write.
howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black text. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 8 | 9
I woke up seriously five times in the middle of the night, I felt bad, cause Ryan was completely snug and flush up against me, but at one point, his knee was in my bladder, so I had to take a piss.
He looked so innocent when he was sleeping, like right now, it’s a little past 8am, and he’s lightly snoring with his head tucked under the pillow we are sharing like he is trying to block out some noises. I could get used to times like these, cause for once I don't feel so young and naive, he looks like the child. Not that I mind being the immature one, I just wish I could prove it to him that I am not.
I think I'll go brush my teeth before I wake him up, I am starving, and if I want to practice anything this morning, I'll need to have fresh breath.
I started to slowly wake up, feeling utterly relaxed and rested from the night and although I did not really want to wake up, I knew I had to, there was a reason in the back of my mind but I could not really grasp it to remember what it was that was making me get up. Whatever it was, I knew that I wanted it.
I made to shift slightly when I felt Brendon, and it came crashing back to me. I smiled softly in my sleep and wrapped my arms tightly around Brendon's waist as I started to really wake up. I licked my lips slightly and moved one of my hands up and over his side a little, letting my fingers caress his skin lightly. One of my favorite things had always been to wake up with my body pressed against someone else's, and thats what I was doing, it felt amazing.
"Morning."
Dammit, I didn't make it in time. Oh well, he has morning breath too I suppose. I held back a giggle as he tickled my skin. See what I told you? As soon as he is awake, I turn into a five year old.
I ran my hand threw his hair, "Morning Ryan," smiling at him, I wiggled closer so I was face to face with him, "Thanks for last night, I had fun. You know, practicing. I wish baseball practice was like that. It’d make life a lot easier."
I forgot, I'm a morning person, and a night person, and a day person, I hope he is, cause I really don't want to talk his arm off or bore him to death.
I smiled softly and slid my hand slowly up over his chest. My eyes slowly opened, and I looked into his face. He was adorable with bed head and everything, I think he even had pillow imprints on his cheek. It was adorable. But he was also far too awake for me, I did not want to be awake in the morning, but I assumed he knew what time he had to be home, so we should make the best of our morning.
"Just the practicing? Thats what you had fun doing Brendon? Is there ever going to be a day when you won't be practicing anymore?"
I pouted and raised my brows, "Hmm, well, once you think I am good enough to play with the big kids, I’m all game!" Smirking, I moved my hands to cup his face and run my nose against his, "You think I'll be good enough sooner than later?"
I sure the hell hope so, he was too fucking irresistible. I mean, I thought his wide, bright eyes were something, but his sleep induced, almost slits from the bright sun were enough to make my heart skip like seven beats. And then! He'd have to give me mouth to mouth, but then, I could pull a Sandlot thing and fake it so I can make out with him. I need to write this shit down! I'm gonna win an Academy Award before this relationship is through!
I smiled softly and nodded, licking my lips quickly as I looked up into his eyes, just watching him before whispering, "Yeah, I think you'll be good enough sooner rather than later."
I tilted my head slightly and leaned forward, pressing my lips softly against his, just starting a slow and lazy good morning kiss, just leaving it lip on lip for now, not trying to make it go too fast. I wasn't too concerned about morning breath, everyone had it, and if you were to be in a relationship you had to get over it or you'd be running to brush your teeth or pop a mint as soon as you woke up every morning, and what fun was that to not wake up in the morning and start to have sexy fun together? In my opinion it was no fun, and I'd rather deal with morning breath than lose early morning intimacy.
I pressed my lips back against his. Keeping my hands planted firmly on his cheeks. That’s right! I will be better sooner than later, I'm gonna make damn sure. Oh, a Taking Back Sunday song!
Great, now I have Miami stuck in my head...Yep, and there goes the head nod. I hope he doesn't notice.
I pulled back laughing, "Sorry..." I snorted, "I keep getting these damn songs in my head. Like, Clothes Off by Gym Class Heroes, I went the the bathroom last night at like 3am, and some guy was like, 'Dude, we have to get these clothes off' and since them, I've been going,"doing my best to imitate Patrick, "'We have to take off those clothes' over and over, and now, I have Taking Back Sunday...." Shaking my head, I looked back towards Ryan, "Sorry..." I muttered.
I laughed softly and shook my head, snuggling back down and into my pillow, letting my eyes slip closed. "Brendon, you are definitely amusing, you know that? Do you always think in songs?"
I smiled and looked up at him again, yawning softly as I did and reached up to caress his cheek softly. "How did you sleep? Besides having to go and experience the bathroom here with guys obviously going at it in the bathroom?"
I chuckled cuz I knew pretty much exactly who those guys probably were, and if Brendon had actually seen them he probably would have been freaked out, which I think would have been very funny.
"Yes, I do actually, Spence and I can have conversations that are just song lyrics, I usually sing though, and he taps the beat. We are just cool like that, you know. Oh, by the way, his band is playing a show tonight! We should go, well, I know I am, my parents already said I could, and there is a small get-together afterward, which are always fun!"
I did my best grin so he would say yes, either way, I was gonna go, cause I promised Amanda I would tell her all about tonight.
"Oh, and I slept marvelous!" I blushed, "I like having someone next to me, it just feels nice, I dunno," I leaned in and pecked him on the lips again, "You're body is so warm and soft and stuff."
I smiled softly and reached up to touch his cheek softly. "Brendon, you don’t have to be all bouncy so early in the morning. People in college who have no classes on Saturday sleep in nice and late and are lazy getting out of bed. At least, people who are me. Please tell me you're not going to try to get me out of bed anytime soon? Because I may have to kick you out if you are."
I smiled softly, not answering about the show and get-together after. I wasn't quite sure if I should go or not. I would like to spend time together with him, but we had our first date, and he didn't want to be seen with me in public, I wasn't sure making our second in just as many ways be just as public.
"I'm glad you slept well. And I agree, having someone to sleep next to is amazing, it is so relaxing and so comforting. It is something that you don't need much to get used to."
Pouting, he didn't answer my question. I curled up next to him, nuzzling my face into his neck, "Yes, I am always this hyper in the mornings, but I can tone it down, I hate sleeping in, and I am starving!" I sighed and pulled back, "But since you are so freaking adorable here in your bed, I will save you the drama and head out actually. My dad and I have to go to the pool store today. In exchange for me going to the show tonight, I have to help open up the pool. So, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can hang with Spencer," I clapped my hands.
"Sorry, I'm loud, but really, call me if you wanna go tonight. It's just a group of friends and stuff, plus you can meet your date for the prom!" Leaning in, I kissed his cheek.
"You don't have to leave Brendon. I'm sorry I'm not all awake and excited about being up in the morning. I like being up at night, I am not so excited about the mornings. But you don't have to leave. I like having you here in bed with me...its lazy...relaxed...and allows me to do this...."
Trails off and leans in to kiss him softly and slowly again, wanting him to understand that half the fun about being in bed with someone is the lazy morning wake ups with them and the lazy kisses, touches, and eventually, fucks that are made better by being lazy in bed in the morning.
"...but if you'd rather go, I'll let you. I won't keep you if you need or want to go."
Kissing back I smiled as I pulled away, "Well, if you keep that up, I'll stay for a whole week!" I smirked before returning to kissing him again, I know he was tired, but I was getting kind of horny, so I deepened the kiss, rolling my body against his.
Where was this action coming from? I knew I had it in me, but I didn't know I would use it!
I moaned into the kiss, sliding my hands up his chest as I continued to rock against him, thumbing his nipple, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip for entrance, which he granted.
Moaning in surprise and delight, I raised my eyebrows and continued kissing him. I pulled him closer to me, my body arching into his touch a little as I kissed him even more passionately. It was what I loved, what I loved having in the morning, what I loved having period. It was what I missed. Waking up without someone to kiss and touch and feel close to was becoming something I hated.
I slid my hand over his side, slipping my hand under his back and sliding my fingers over his spine. I turned him onto his side so I could touch each and every part of his back. I loved his skin, and I wanted to touch all of it. I got a little bold, sliding my hand down over his thigh and then back up before tugging the elastic on his boxers down, pressing my fingers to the skin beneath.
I pulled back and moaned. His hands were like fire on my body. Nothing I had ever felt before. The pleasure was so intense my eyes began to water, as chills ran up and down my body. He was right, there was a lot more to do that just fuck. I bit my lip as he slid his hand into my briefs. I thought about asking him to slow down, but my body told him otherwise as I started a rhythm against his body.
Trailing my mouth across his chin and down his jaw, I sucked on his adam's apple, arching into him, then back to nibble and suck on his nipple. Following the same wet trail back up to his lips, we met in an opened mouth kiss while hands and hips continued to assault each other.
I groaned and slid my fingers up into his hair when he went down to my chest and kissed him harder and hungrier when he came back up to my mouth. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly right then but I knew it was fast, too fast maybe, but to me it almost didn't matter and I just wanted to have him.
I pulled back after a moment, panting hard and turning him into his back, looking down at him and licking my lips as I looked over his face, leaning down to kiss slowly along his jaw, moving my kisses up along his jaw to his ear and whispering, "Tell me to stop and I will Brendon. Or tell me what you want."
I bit onto his earlobe softly before moving my lips down to his neck and running my lips over his skin, kissing and softly sucking on his skin. I had an idea, a thought, even if I couldn't have sex with him, we were already grinding against each other, and it would be no different, if he were open to it.
"Oh fuck..." I managed to let out. It was all too much, this was all too much, But I'll be damned if I tell him to stop. I could feel his erection against mine. And dammit. Fuck I can't think right now, and all I can comprehend it a potty mouth, so I need to stop thinking and start doing.
I was moaning like a cheap whore. The way he licked his lips and ran his hands across my chest while pinning me down was enough to make me come right there. Or run away, but you know I'm not thinking with my brain right now...fuck that shit.
Hitting his elbow, he collapsed on my chest, as I ground up against him and attacked his throat. I hope we weren't too loud, but honestly I could care less, I needed this.
I think...
"Brendon....fuck....Bren..."
I bit my lip and pulled back, pushing myself up a little and pulling away from his lips, breathing hard and looking down. I pushed the covers back and moved up onto my knees, looking down at his body and smirked softly as I slid my hand down over his side and to his hip, keeping my eyes on his as I tugged gently on the edge of his boxer briefs before leaning down to lick over his hip. I moved off the bed, tugging on the sheet and laying it over him.
"Take them off Bren."
My eyes shot open. I finally came to my senses.
"No!" I shook my head, pulling myself up and off the bed, "I can't Ryan, I can't not now, I can't," I continued to shake my head as tears managed to fall down my face. I couldn't look at him as I reached for my jeans, throwing them on, slipping on my shoes without tying them, grabbing my bag, and heading out the door.
Fuck. What did I just do? I punched the wall as I screamed and ran as fast as I could out to my car. Not even looking back.
"Brendon!" I saw him leave and swore to myself under my breath as I tugged on a pair of pajama pants that were on the floor and tore after him. There was no way I was letting him leave like that, no way I was letting him run off thinking whatever it was he was thinking. Even more, there was no way I was letting him leave with tears in his eyes.
I ran out of the building and stopped him right in front of his car, grabbing his wrist and pulling him against me, wrapping my arm around his waist so he couldn't get away as I held his back against my chest.
"Bren...Bren I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean it like that. I swear to you I didn't mean it like that." I whispered against his neck and ear. "Please don't leave like this, please, let me explain. Please!"
Tears fell even harder when he pulled me into him. I dropped my head back on his shoulder, swallowing, "Fuck Ry, it's not you. Goddammit it. I can't even be seen with you in public, why the hell should I be worthy of sex?" I wiped my snotty nose on my arm, "I just, if I would have stayed in that room, we would have had sex. As much as we both told ourselves not to, it would have happened, ok, and I wasn't. I trust you Ryan, I just," I pulled out of his grasp to face him, "I just don't trust myself with you. I don't know when to say no..."
"No, Brendon." I reached up and touched his cheek. "If you had stayed in the room we would not have had sex. Please, come back upstairs with me for a few minutes. Please, so we aren't talking about this out here. I promise, you can sit on my chair, and I will sit on the bed. I will stay as far away from you as you want me to. But please come back upstairs, and let me explain. I'm not letting you leave here thinking what is in your head without getting to explain myself."
I looked into his eyes, keeping my hand on his cheek softly before whispering quietly. "Please."
He looked serious. And his hard-on was poking into me awkwardly, and this really isn't the place to be having this discussion. And he is hot when he is begging. But I really need to get home, so I can go to the concert tonight. Which he will or will not be attending with me. Damn the decisions.
I broke the eye contact, "Ok," I muttered, "But on one condition, that you will go to the concert tonight. You don't have to go with me, but at least show up, that is all I am asking."
I nodded, looking at him for a few moments before nodding again. "I'll go. I'll go to the show tonight. Now please...come inside with me."
I waited for him, just looking into his face and waiting for him to agree. I was so scared he would just get in his car and leave though and not come back because of what just happened. But I needed to explain to him, and he needed to hear it too.
"You know, if you weren't so fucking cute when you begged, I would be out of here in a flash. Wait, a flash?" I slapped my head, "I am such a dork."
I released myself from him and headed towards the door, "I'll hear you out, but remember, it's not that I don't trust you, it is that I don't trust myself around you," we headed up the stairs to his room, "I know you would have stopped is I asked, and I am sorry I overreacted, but I was scared, I guess...or something, I dunno, but, as long as you will give me a chance and go tonight, I'll give you a chance to explain."
I nodded and followed him back into the dorm. We went back upstairs and into my room. I closed the door behind us and walked over to my bed, sitting down on it and kicking off the shoes I'd shoved my feet into, still being only dressed in the pajama pants and not caring.
"I wasn't going to push you to have sex with me Brendon. I swear to you I wasn't." I looked up at him for a moment before looking back down at my hands. "I...I really...I mean...I just thought...with how things were....what...what we were doing."
I bit my lip and looked up at him. "That we could take a step further. Get...comfortable being naked around each other, but not...not fully...I wasn't even going to look at you."
I held back a laugh, Oh how the rules were reversed, but, I knew I could play stupid, I wonder if he could too? To coy me back into bed with him? I looked him up and down, he seemed sincere, but the fact that he couldn't look me in the eye was throwing me off. Dammit, what do I do?
"Then, what was the point of getting naked, I mean, we could have done the same amount of things with our clothes on as we could with our clothes off, unless you were gonna give me a blow-job, but I have a feeling you are the one who primarily receives on that."
I sat down next to him, leaving a safe distance away as his boner was still evident in his pajama pants, and waited for him to explain.
I shook my head and closed my eyes. "You know I'm more experienced with sex stuff. And yeah, we probably could have done just about the same stuff with our clothes on as off. And no, I wasn't going to give you a blow job."
I turned and looked at him, chewing on my lip a little. "We were barely wearing anything to begin with. I..." I sighed and closed my eyes, putting my head into my hands, feeling rather embarrassed that I was going to have to actually explain what I wanted to do when it was so much more fun to just show.
I took a breath and sighed, turning and looking at him again. "I was gonna get us naked, you under the sheet, me on top. Let you....let you see and touch me if you wanted...and just...continue as we were...except...just a sheet between us...instead...instead of boxers..."
For the first time of the morning, I am speechless. And a fucking idiot. I missed out on Ryan, naked on top of my, with nothing more than a sheet between us...
What the fuck?
The first time in my damn life I grow a conscience...and this is what could have happened? I could have got off with Ryan on top of me, with just a filthy sheet?!!?!
I slapped my head into my palm, "I...I'm a idiot!"
I shook my head a little. "You aren't an idiot Brendon. You didn't know what I was planning, and you didn't know that I wasn't going to...I don't know, jump you or whatever." I bit my lip and leaned back against the wall. "I was probably rushing you anyway."
I looked over at him and shrugged, keeping my hands against my body so that I wouldn't reach out and touch him. "I'm sorry I went so fast. You told me that you weren't ready, and I pushed it by trying to get you naked. I shouldn't have, I really shouldn't have. We've only known each other what, two weeks? Three? It’s too fast to get you naked. I'm sorry."
I watched as he held and distanced himself from me, he really was being serious, and now I felt bad, but it is getting late, and I do have to go...
"No, Ryan," I gripped his shoulder, "It's ok, and thank you for not pressuring me, cause you could have, I mean, you had full advantage of me, and you didn't use that..so, I should be thankful for that, and yeah, we haven't know each other that long, so it is smart not to get naked the first time we are civil towards each other," I glanced at the clock, “But, I have to get going. My dad won't let me go tonight if I don't help out, so promise me you will be there, and I promise I will make it up to you."
I smiled before getting up, reaching across him, placing my hand on the wall for balance, and kissing him on the lips before turning to leave, "Oh, and thank you for coming after me, that meant more to me than you will ever know."
I watched him and nodded a little, moving to stand up beside him, and I pulled his lips against mine, kissing him softly and slowly before pulling back again. "I'll be there."
I went over to my desk and quickly wrote something down before turning and handing it to him. "Email me the details so I know where to go and when, okay?" I smiled softly and nodded to myself a little, reaching up and brushing the hair from his forehead.
"Go on then, go help your dad and all. I wouldn't want him to keep you from going tonight. I'll see you there. So don't worry. And...you're welcome. But I seriously could not let you run out without explaining what my intents were. Really...I wouldn't have...but...its probably better we stopped when we did. Have a good afternoon though, and I'll see you tonight." I smiled softly and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Catching his face on from my cheek, I turned it to plant him on the lips once again before I left, "Ok," I pulled back, "See you tonight," I tapped his nose, "And you are so damn cute when you apologize, too bad we weren't fucking, cause the make-up sex would have been amazing!" I winked before turning around and walking out the door.
I hopped in my car, and sang the whole way there. Something was gonna happen tonight. I just know it! Haha, and I am so not gonna tell anyone, well, except Spencer...
