This is Bullshit (12/?)
Title: This is bullshit (12/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: Sunday afternoon and evening
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black.

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Once I made it up to my room, I sighed and called the last person on my caller ID. As I waited for the other person to pick up, I wiped my my eyes. I’m not even sure why I was crying. But I knew as soon as I saw him I would, so I might as well get out as much as I can. It’s not that I had a bad morning, it actually went surprisingly well. A little too well.

I heard a voice on the other line.

“Hey, it’s me, can I come over for a little bit? I know you are busy today, but I just want to see you, it’ll be an hour or two, tops, cause I have to be home for dinner and homework. Ok, I’ll see you then.”

I hung up the phone, grabbing my wallet, not even bothering to change from my church clothes. Walking down the stairs, I told my parents where I was going, and promised I’d be back for dinner. I hopped in the car and headed towards my destination.

I had spent the morning sleeping, what else would I do on a weekend? I slept late, I'd only woken up a little to say goodbye to Brendon when he got out of bed that morning. I fell back to sleep almost immediately. I woke up just before noon and had been studying since, working on remembering everything that I could for my Astronomy and English Lit exams. I'd been immersed completely in my studies when my cell phone rang, and I saw that it was Brendon.

I frowned as I listened to him but of course told him to come over. I figured I had about fifteen minutes to do a few last things before he'd be there so I went about making a few flash cards while I waited for him. His voice sounded like he was upset, so I was worried about him, and it made it a little difficult to concentrate on my studies while I kept looking at the time to see how long it had been since he'd called.

I made my way to his door. Pausing and regaining my composure outside his door. It was going to be ok. I know he’d tell me that. Hell, I knew it myself, I just had to repeat it over and over again to believe it. Sighing, I knocked on his door, after some shuffling around, he opened it. I felt bad for interrupting his studying, but I needed to talk to him.

“Hey...” I whispered as I stepped into his room immediately walking over to his bed and sitting down. Fiddling with the book I had brought over to him, “Oh, here, I brought this for you, I remembered it on my ride home, my grandma got it for me when we vacationed near NASA one year, it’s a kids book on constellations, stars, planets and moons, not sure if it would help, but, there are pretty pictures, so if you need a break, at least you’ll be studying when you read it...” I managed to smile as I gave it to him.

I smiled softly at him as I closed the door and walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. "Wow, that's awesome Bren, thank you." I took the book from him and looked at it. "It may not help the way my professor might like, but that's okay, it should still help."

I nodded and moved to pull my legs up onto the bed, turning toward him as I put the book behind us on the bed and tilted my head slightly to the side. "So Bren, what's up? Why did you need to come talk to me?"

I reached over and ran my hand slightly along his lower arm as it was rested on his legs.

I gulped, then cleared my throat. I knew I’d lose my voice, but I hoped he’d like the reason I came over. Even if it wasn’t the way I had planned it to be. Biting my lip, I looked over at him, “My parents,” I glanced down at his hand, then my shoes, “They um, they found out Ryan.”

I held back a tear, “I mean, they found out I was gay.”

My eyebrows shot up a little, and I moved a little closer to him, running my hand down to hold onto his.

"What happened?" I furrowed my eyebrows a little, looking over his face as I did. I knew it was better if he told them himself, but sometimes they just figure these things out on their own and ask. But I got the feeling that that was not how this went down and the expression on his face made me worried. "Just...just start from the beginning and tell me what happened."

Grasping onto his hands, I sighed again, releasing the air slowly, “We went to church like normal. And now that I think about it, my parents were acting exceptionally nice to me,” I swallowed, crossing my leg, “And when we got home, mom even cooked my favorite meal, baked spaghetti with garlic bread, and we had german chocolate cake, which I also love, and I was about to go upstairs and see if Spencer was online, and my parents told me to come into the den with them.“

I sniffed my nose and rubbed my thumb along Ryan’s knuckle, “So I went in, and they asked me where I had been the past few nights, and I told them, studying and then Spencers. Of course I couldn’t look them in the eyes, and of course they knew I was lying. My mom said she had seen our neighbor at the grocery store, and Mrs. French, my neighbor, had seen me at the theater, cuddling with a young man. ..”

I frowned a little when he said that, and I tried to think of others who were in the theater the other night when we were there. I didn't remember seeing anyone, but that didn't mean there weren't other people there. Squeezing his hand a little I nodded some. "Okay..."

I bit my lip, not really sure what more to say and just moved a little closer against him. "What did they say? Were they mad?" I reached up with my other hand and ran it through his hair, still keeping my eyes on him.

“They told me they had suspected I was gay for about four months. My mom had found some pics on my computer or something and had been talking to Amanda’s parents about it, and reading books from the library,“ I laughed, “Like ‘How to Raise my Gay Kid for Dummies’ or something,” sighing again, I smiled at him, “So, they said they weren’t mad about that, they just wished I would have told them. But they were mad about me for lying. I apologized to them, and they apologized for being so harsh to me the past few months, saying they grounded me, thinking that I would shy away from that chosen lifestyle. Hell, they think that it is just a phase...”

I slouched my back even more, placing my head in my hands, “It’s weird, I thought it would have gone much worse, but it didn’t. It went too well. It’s like they accepted it before I even did. My dad even joked, ‘at least you won’t get him pregnant’ and all I thought was ‘who are you and what have you done with my parents’,” my voice was cracking, “And now, I don’t know,” i shrugged, “I am in more shock than anything I think. I feel like a zombie almost. Like, this thing that has been boiling inside me, causing me stress and infesting my veins has just,” I flicked my hands, “Poof! And vanished. And I just feel empty. I don’t know how to explain it,” I turned my head in my hand, looking at him.

"This probably isn't what you want to hear Bren, but you're lucky. You're lucky your parents are okay with this. Okay, so it’s weird, but weird in a good way, right?" I smiled softly and moved to pull him into my arms, giving him a hug and kissing his hair softly. "When your parents finally accept you for who you are and not for what they want you to be it is very weird, but it’s weird in a good way. At least that’s how I can think to word it.”

"It’s going to be shocking though. And it’s going to be weird. And it’s going to be strange to get used to. Just...now that they know and now that they have accepted it, just don't lie to them. When you're going to be meeting me, or going out with me, don't lie about it. It’s better for you this way. And...and us..." I ran my fingers through his hair again and smiled softly. "You'll be okay, you already know that you will be. Just...don't tell them the first time you have sex, at least not walking home and saying 'hey, I had sex with a boy tonight!'" I smiled, hoping he'd at least think it was funny.

I laughed, leaning into him, I nuzzled myself into his neck, “I know I am lucky. I just, after these past few weeks were they treated me like shit, which now I know is because they planned that, I guess I just expected the worse. And well, the only bad thing that came out of it is that I can’t go to prom now. They said it was because I lied to them, and they had to take something away from me, but I think it’s so I don’t end up at a dance with a guy. Cause, they may have accepted it, I mean, it’s easy to say it, but I’m sure it will shock them when they see me with you for the first time...”

I pulled back from his neck, “I promise I won’t lie to them anymore. But, I won’t get to see you as often as I would like though, cause I have to be home by ten on school nights,” I sighed, “Just three more weeks..”

I nodded a little and frowned, reaching up to touch Brendon's cheek. "They won't let you go at all? Even if I'm not there?" I frowned a little, thinking that that was very extreme, taking away prom from their child. "Even if you were Amanda's date instead of me? I won't go. I would rather you get the chance to go with your friends than not getting to go because of me. I would offer to try to talk to your parents for you, but I'm not sure they'd want to hear from the boy who 'corrupted their son,' or for that matter that they'd be ready for it."

I thought for a moment about not getting to see him and sighed, closing my eyes a little. "So....for the next three weeks you'll be home by ten every sunday through thursday night?"

Laughing, I tilted his chin back up to look at me, “You didn’t corrupt me, and they took away prom before I even told them you would be going with Amanda. I wasn’t really excited about it anyway. I’m not much on school spirit and all the jazz, I was only going for Amanda, who only wanted to go cause her girlfriend’s parents wouldn’t let her go to hers...so all of it was to get back at parents, plus, I don’t know if Spencer was even going to be there.”

I smirked, “Oh, and my parents told me to ask over for dinner that night, and they said they would go play cards at my neighbors to give me the night alone and have a small get together or something. Cause word on the street, Spence’s parents found out about his, and he can’t have one, at least that’s what Steve told me this morning...”

“And yeah, the three weeks you will actually be here, I have to be on lock down...” I pouted.

I nodded a little and pulled his lips to mine, kissing him softly and gently before pulling away and looking into his eyes. "They never said we couldn't see each other. You just have to be home by ten. Does that mean you have to be in bed by ten? Or just home by ten?"

I smiled softly and still held onto him, just not willing to let him feel like I wasn't right there for him. "And what do you mean Spence's parents found out? What about? Not the party last night?" I frowned slightly as I thought about it and ran my thumb gently over his cheek so I could just be touching him.

I leaned into his hand, “Home by ten, so yeah, we can be together as much as possible, I’d like that, like very much.” I smirked running my hand up and down his thigh.

“And, yeah, as far as I heard, his dad found a beer bottle in the mailbox...” I raised my eyebrows, “So, he’s in trouble. I’m gonna go over there after dinner or something and tell his parents the truth, I mean, they said he could have a get together, and he couldn’t help it so many people showed up.”

I continued to run my hand along his thigh, moving in circles, getting higher each rotation.

I smiled softly as I looked at him and slipped my arm around his back, pulling him closer against me. "Home by ten. So, would I be allowed to bring you home at ten and then spend some time with you at your home, as long as you are home by ten?"

I smiled softly and leaned in to kiss his cheek softly, before resting my head against his and moving in closer against him. I loved how his hand felt on my leg. "I should go with you to Spencer's. I know they don't know me, and it might be weird me just showing up and standing up for their son. But I can back up the story too. Besides, I am the one who got them all to leave. Maybe they'll listen to me if they won't believe either of you."

I needed more contact then this, shit I haven’t got off since Friday afternoon, I think that is the longest I have ever been since I first started jerking off. Circling my hand even higher, almost running my thumb over his zipper, I kissed his neck quickly.

“Yeah, ten, and I dunno...I’m sure we can work something out,” placing a kiss on his jaw, “And, if you go to Spencer’s, you could always come to my house for dinner, you know, a good home cooked meal before you come back and study...” I smirked, missing his lips and kissing the other side of his jaw, ghostly thumbing the fabric of his jeans where the legs met.

“My mom’s making vegetarian lasagna...and some with meat,” I applied more pressure with my thumb.

My breath hitched as he continued touching me, and I moved into him, moving into his touch as I tried to focus on his words. I turned my head and captured his lips with mine, kissing him slowly, with only a hint of hunger before I pulled back, panting softly.

"Will your parents be okay with that if I just showed up for dinner Bren?" I bit my lip and slid my hand down and over his chest, almost whimpering as I tugged a little on him, pulling him closer to me. I licked my lips and moved, pushing the book I'd put onto the bed away and pulling Brendon toward me as I moved to lay down, pulling his lips to mine again and kissing him again, kissing him deeply and clinging onto his shirt before pulling away and gasping his name.

I groaned as I lay on top of him, now, my hand was between us. Palming him, I rubbed the back of my hand against my forming erection. “They won’t mind...” I mumbled as I grabbed him softly through his clothes. My lips found his again as I reluctantly pulled my hand away from him...and me...so I could feel his body against mine.

“Plus, that’ll give us more time together...” I mumbled against his lips, tugging at the hem of his shirt before pulling back. As I started a rhythm of moving against him, I looked him in the eye and begged him to remove the shirt and to move onward.

At least I hope he read my mind...

I whimpered and tugged on him, my head tilting back and licking my lip. I reached down and tugged on his shirt, pulling it off of him and tossing it aside, looking up at him as I did, licking my lips again. "Brendon...Bren..."

I furrowed my eyebrows a little, looking up at him. "How...how far..." I bit my lip and slid my hand down over his skin on his chest. I arched into him a little, and I couldn't believe what he was doing. I moved us quickly, putting him onto his back and tugging off my own shirt and leaning down to him. "What do you want right now Bren?"

My breathing was heavy already, I could feel it in my chest and my entire body. I was tingling all over, all because of just how forward he was being with his hand, it damn near made me want to climb into his lap and rub against him for hours.

I was shaking. Hey! I said I hadn’t got off in like two days..that’s a long time!

Arching up against him, I pulled my knees up, so my feet were flat on the bed, causing our erections to connect harshly as he slipped between my legs. Running my hands down his back, I gave his ass a tight squeeze before pushing him into me.

“I think...no sex...not yet...but,” I thrust up, “God Ry, you’re so fucking hot...I’m ready...to see you naked...I mean, to lay with you n-naked...” I forced myself up yet again, “To do this...over and over again...naked...”

I reached up, grabbing his neck with my left hand, bringing his face to mine as I plunged my tongue into his mouth, “I want to touch you Ryan,” I bit my lips, tasting him on me, “I want you to get me off...to make me come...”

I smirked softly at his words. I loved how much I could get him going, even if it wasn't going to be sex, it was okay. I nodded and leaned in to kiss him again before pulling back and undoing the button on my jeans, watching him as I did so. I licked my lips and murmured. "You want me naked. Do you want to be naked too Bren? You don't need to be. You really don't need to be. You can stay clothed if you want."

I smiled softly at him so that he knew as I finished undoing my pants and shoving them off my hips, kicking them away from me a little and moving to the edge of the bed, sliding my hands up and onto his knees, looking into his face.

I watched him, still thrusting upward even when he had moved off of me. I just kept nodding my head at everything he said. See, here's the thing...ok, so I am not going to start singing...I promise...

Once he placed a hand on my knee, I made my hands down my body, unbuttoning my pants, and reaching for the zipper. I closed my eyes and moaned at the light pressure the zipper was giving me. Arching into my hand, I managed to open my eyes again and look at Ryan.

“Can you, um, help me?” I asked, making sure to use the deepest voice I could muster.

I smiled and nodded, licking my lips and leaning over him, leaning down to kiss him softly before pulling back and smirking at him softly. I stripped off my boxers so that I was naked and slid my hands up along his thighs. I kept my eyes on his as I slipped my hands up to the edge of his dress slacks and slowly started pulling them down over his hips. I got them off his hips and tugged them off, tossing them over my shoulder and leaning down to kiss his stomach softly and gently, sliding my hand up and along his chest as I looked up into his eyes.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Brendon? I don't want you to regret doing this." I moved up onto the bed a little, looking down at him and not being the slightest bit ashamed of my naked body in front of him. "I want you Bren. I think you know that. But just yesterday we started getting to this point, and you weren't ready. Are you ready tonight?"

I leaned down and pressed my lips along his chest slightly, moving my lips up to run over his neck, whimpering because I wanted to feel him against me, but there was still the whole thing of being his first time, that yesterday he wasn't ready for this, and it freaked him out. But maybe we could do what I was going to do yesterday for a start.

My eyes crossed as he touched me. He looked so amazing. I wanted to say it, but I didn’t want to sound like a dork. It was nothing like I had seen in magazines, in pornos, online, or even in the locker room. I think I was the fact that it was all mine. Every inch of him was all mine.

I nodded, “I’m ready, I promise Ryan, I can do this!” I kissed him once his lips met mine with more hunger than I knew I was capable of. I wanted to feel him. I wanted his body against me, I wanted him to touch me. “Ryan, get these things off,” I managed to snap the elastic of my boxers, “I want this, I want you. I need this...and you.”

Reaching up, I pulled his midsection down on my open legs, “Dammit, just let me feel you. And go slow...” I ground up against him. The fabric of my boxers being the only thing that separated our manhood from moving together. I let go of his waist, allowing him to pull off my boxers, I just wish he would hurry up.

I whimpered when he pulled me down against him and moved his body against mine. I pulled back a little and slipped my fingers under the edge of his boxers. "Bren...I'm afraid if I let myself I won't stop...I'll....I'll want to go all the way..."

I frowned a little and moved closer to him. "I want to feel you, god knows I want to feel you. But I won't stop, I don't think I would. And I can't do that to you." I looked at him and leaned down to kiss him again. I licked my lips and whispered softly. "I'd hate myself if I took advantage of this...of you..."

I slid my body down against him, leaving the boxers still on him as I just pressed my body against him. "Having nothing between us...I'll want to Bren...I'm sorry, but I want to right now so badly, so badly...I...I need to keep something between us or I will...I can't do that to you."

Wow. His honestly hurt, but I respected him for it. I ground up against him, but each time, the seam on the boxers irritated my now leaking cock.

“Thank you, thank you for taking control and respecting me, but, these,” I wiggled under him, maybe if I put them on backwards... “These things are irritating the fuck out of me, they scratch and itch, and they have to go...”

I bit my lip, I really wanted to get off, with him, “But Ryan, I need this, I need to get off, I can’t take it anymore, what if,” I thought, “What if I was on top, and then you couldn’t take advantage of me, cause you can’t if I am on top, or something...there has to be something, cause,” I licked his neck, “Fuck Ryan, you’re so damn hot...and you feel amazing, and we can’t stop now, please don’t make me stop...”

I smiled and leaned up to kiss him hard and hungry before pulling back. "We aren't gonna stop, I don't want to."

I got up off of him and pulled him up, tugging down the sheets with one hand as I held his body against mine with the other. I kissed him again once I had the sheets down, and I kissed him as deeply and passionately as I possibly could. After a moment I pulled back and looked at him, murmuring softly. "Get in Bren."

I bit my lip, stepping back so that I wouldn't touch him until he'd gotten in. I wanted to feel him, but I just knew if he was naked and pressed against me, skin to skin, completely, there was no way I would be able to stop. I licked my lips and moved over to the bed, and I murmured softly again. "Take them off Bren...and I'll introduce you to Sam."

My jaw dropped, I forgot about Sam...Smirking, my curiosity got the best of me as I slid off the bed. But standing in front of Ryan, who was completely naked and hard, Sam could wait. For like, two minutes...

I placed my thumbs in my boxers and pulled them down slowly, bending to the ground, as I looked up, I came face to face with Ryan’s cock licking my lips. “I’ll meet Sam, but not quite yet,” I breathed on him, as I stood back up slowly. Stepping forward, I took his hard on in my palm, bringing mine parallel with his, wrapping my thumb around to grasp the two in my hand. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead on his shoulder, watching my hand as I slowly stroked us together.

I knew if I watched much longer I could most likely come before Sam was even in the picture, so I raised my head up and placed my tongue flat on his collarbone before sucking and nipping it with my teeth. Once I had my fill, and I was as hard as I could get without bursting, I pulled back, and slid into bed. Waiting for him.

I groaned when Brendon touched me, and I clung onto his arms while he stroked me. It was so hot, so utterly hot, and I wondered where the hell he learned to do that and why it was that he came off so innocent half the time and then so forward and so experienced at other times. I bit my lip while he leaned against me, still stroking us together, and I kept my hands clinging onto his arms as I tried to not let my legs give out underneath me.

I gasped when he pulled away and slowly opened my eyes that I didn't even realize I had closed when he pulled away from me. I watched him slip into the bed and moved over toward him again. I moved the sheet over his body and moved until I was straddling his thighs, looking down into his face. I was already panting a little, and I couldn't get enough of this kid. Part of me wanted to say fuck it and get rid of the sheet between us, but I knew I wouldn't respect his desire to wait a bit longer then.

Licking my lips I smiled and picked up the edge of the sheet while I stayed above him, only my knees touching close to him, and whispered softly, "Brendon....meet Sam." I moved the sheet slowly so it ran over his erection slightly and brushing the sheet over his nipples deliberately too as I kept my eyes on his

This was Sam? A damn sheet? What the.....ohhhh!

It was like hands and softness and smoothness, but not just some parts, the whole body. The way it slid over my chest, across my stomach and around my erection. .. “Fuck...” I let out, keeping my eyes planted on Ryan. I arched into the blanket as he rolled it across me. Sam was like nothing I had ever felt, but something I could definitely get used to.

But what about Ryan? He couldn’t be completely content just by watching me squirm and wiggle under the immense pleasure. “Come ‘er,” I motioned with my hand, bringing it around the back of his neck, I pulled his ear to my mouth, licking the shell of it, I moaned, “I like Sam,” I grunted, thrusting into him, “But, show me what else he can do...”

I chuckled softly at his reaction to Sam. I saw his face change from thinking to completely getting it. I smiled and whispered. "That night...it was only Sam touching me Bren. I wasn't even touching myself..."

I looked into his eyes to be sure he understood that it was his voice and the sheet and nothing else before I pressed my body down against his and pressed my lips against his. I slid my hand up into his hair, keeping his lips tight to mine as I kissed him and started rocking my hips against his. I moved until I had gently pushed his legs apart, settling myself between his legs and starting to rock in a little more against him while I kissed him. It felt good, even though there was a sheet between us, it felt so good to just feel him beneath me.

Continuing to kiss him, he lay between my legs, applying pressure in all the right places. The sheet, I mean Sam, was the perfect texture to guide as against each other. And luckily didn’t bunch up when we got wet.

Wait, what the hell do I care? Ryan is on top of me, sticking his tongue down my throat, grinding his boner into mine, and here I am thinking about moisture?

I pulled back, a moan involuntarily escaping my lips, “Ry, I just want to hear you and see you...no kissing, just breathing,” I moaned as his body slid against mine with even more force, “All this...with...just...a...blanket. Sam is good,” I smirked reaching around placing my palm on the small of his back, fingers tickling his bum.

I pulled back, panting softly and looking down at him. I licked my lips, tasting him on me as I nodded a little and moved to rest myself a little on my elbows on either side of him. I kept my eyes on his as I continued moving my hips against his. It felt amazing, the friction of Sam the sheet between us was perfect, although nowhere near as perfect as I knew having his body against mine would be.

I continued moving my hips, pressing and rolling them, thrusting gently against him. I desperately wanted to slide my arm under his lower back, under his hips and pull him more tightly against me as I moved my hips against his. I wanted to feel more, but I respected what he wanted, or at least tried to. I dipped my head down to his neck and started to softly nip and kiss at it, running my tongue lightly along the throbbing vein in his neck. It felt good, it was damn near intoxicating to lick and kiss and taste him while moving against him, knowing I wouldn't be able to last forever but wanting to last as long as possible for him.

Pulling him even closer, we were picking up a good pace as he sucked on my neck. Which is about all I could take. The movements. The sheet, the kisses, the body heat, the tongue, the licks, the slurping, the breathing, the eye contact... I ran my hand along his ass, applying the most pressure as I possibly could as chills ran up and down my spine. “God, Ry....I’m....gonna....come....” I managed to choke out between thrusts as I placed my feet firmly on the mattress, giving myself enough balance and force to grind harder and faster against him.

My head dug into the pillow as my hands scrapped along his backside. I sucked in a huge breath before releasing with a slur of his name and many obsenities...which were probably not recognizable. Once I spilled all I had in me, I fell back onto the bed, head slumped as I tried to regain my breathing.

Shit...was that too soon?

I groaned as his hands raked at my skin. It felt good in a weird kinky sort of way, but it felt so amazingly good. I pressed harder against him, pulling back a little to look down at him and watch his expression as he came. It was the best thing I'd seen in a long time, and I felt the wetness of the sheet between us as I continued moving my hips against him through the now damp sheet. It was hot, it was so amazingly hot, and the boy beneath me.

Licking my lips I couldn't take anymore. I rolled and thrust my hips against him a few more times as I too came, but with a gasp of breath and a whimpering of his name as I continued moving against him, waiting until I'd spent myself before collapsing down half on top of him and half to the side of him. I draped my arm over him as I tried to catch my breath, nuzzling my face in against his neck, breathing in the scent of him, he smelled like sweet sweat mixed with vanilla.

I lie there panting as Ryan came on top of me. It was like nothing I had experienced before. Well, duh, cause I hadn’t experienced it before, but still. I’m a fan of sounds and audible things, and the noises coming from his mouth were amazing. Just his breathing and moans and gasps were enough to make me hard again. I could honestly get off just by his voice..which, I had before...but that is besides the point.

Wow. This was officially the first time I had gotten off around a guy, which was induced by a guy. And it’s definitely something I would like to do again, and again, and again. And, maybe one day, I’ll have sex. hell, maybe the night of the supposed prom, but definitely before he leaves for LA, cause I want him to have something to remember me by, and to attach himself with me.

Once my breathing evened, I placed my hand on his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him lightly. “Thank you,” I muttered against his lips. ‘That was the greatest thing I have yet to experience...”

I smiled and slowly opened my eyes to look up at him. I leaned in and pressed my lips gently against his before slowly pulling back again. I licked my lips and reached up to gently caress his cheek and sighing softly in content. "You don't need to thank me Bren." I ran my fingers down and over his lips softly. "You never have to thank me."

Smiling I leaned in and kissed him again softly before pulling back and sitting up, stretching a little. "Mmm..." I looked down at him and murmured. "That felt very good Bren..." I slithered my hand down over his chest. "You felt very good...but we need to get you home for dinner. And I don't think its a good idea for you to go home smelling of sex."

I laughed, sniffing the air, eh, come, nothing my parents haven’t smelled on me before...I think. But what if I did smell like sex, I mean, does sex smell different then when I just jerk off? Either way, I prolly couldn’t go home in this state. “So, what do you have in mind, I mean, I still have those boxers, and they are kinda clean...”

I bit my lip, “Ryan...” I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t know how to do it. So, I guess I should, cause I’ll never know unless i ask...right?

I placed a kiss on his lips again as I pulled back and looked him in the eyes, “Does it hurt,” I twisted my mouth, “You know, sex,” I whispered looking away. I’m sure I looked like an idiot, like to seconds ago I was flailing around like a porn pro, and now I can’t even say sex. And most likely I am blushing, but my body is still on a high from the orgasm to feel a thing.

I chuckled softly when he looked all shy and adorable. I caressed his cheek softly and slowly turned his face to look up at me. "The first time, yes, it does. And always a little at first, but it gets better. And it feels amazing. The problem is when you're not used to it, and you don't relax it hurts a little more. But when the time is right, whoever it is that gets to be your first, if they really care about you they will take their time and go slow and listen to you and your body and they won't push you any faster or harder than you want to take it."

I leaned down and kissed him softly. "I don't want to scare you by telling you it hurts though. It’s just part of it at first. And then...if you let yourself go far enough, it feels better than anything else in this world. If you can take the hurt at the start you'll love it and never want to stop in the end." I smiled softly and pecked his lips again before I got up and walked over, tugging on my boxers.

I copied his smile and his movements of getting out of bed, and pulling on my boxers. “Um, do you have a Kleenex or something?” I asked looking down at my stomach and noticing the stickiness smeared all over. It’s not that’s wet, but it’s getting stiffer as is dries, so it’s gotta go.

Grabbing a Kleenex from his desk, I spit into before wiping my stomach. Gross, I know, but I was gonna shower when I got home anyway, so no need to get all clean and stuff.

“So, are you you gonna accept my offer for dinner? I’m sure my parents won’t mind, as long as you aren’t scared of the third degree will you get,” I smirked throwing the tissue in the garbage before grabbing my pants and pulling them on.

I laughed softly and walked over, knocking his pants away and murmuring. "You aren't leaving yet Brendon." Smiling I grabbed his hand and then went and grabbed towels and things from my closet. "And yes, I'll accept your offer for dinner as long as you're sure your parents don't mind. But I'm seriously not showing up with the two of us smelling like sex."

I laughed and tugged on his hand as I walked us to the door, opening it and leading him down the hall toward the shower room. No one on the floor cared if we walked around wearing only boxers. Hell, they wouldn't care if we walked around naked, since most of the guys on the floor seemed to at least be bi if not gay. Or maybe they were just bi-curious. Either way there’s a lot of male nakedness that happened on the floor, and they wouldn't care about Bren being there and being in boxers.

Grinning, I followed him into the bathroom, glancing around making sure no one else was in there, “Ryan, what if we get caught?” I bit my lip, I mean, I know it is a dorm, and there is not pricinpal, but still...

I watched as he headed towards a stall that had no door or shower curtain or anything. That was weird, I mean, at least in high school there was a curtain. Looking up, I noticed at one point there probably was. Figuring that some horny or crazed guy prolly pulled them all down in a fit of horniness, I whimpered as I looked around. Even more so when I noticed a guy coming in, towel and soap in tow.

This is something I’ll definitely have to get used to in college...

Turning back to Ryan, I smiled weakly, “Same stall or separate?” I asked, hoping he would say same so I could hide behind him so the other guys wouldn’t see me.

I chuckled softly and shook my head, looking at the guy that came in and smiling. "Hey Dave. How're the studies going?" I watched as he groaned and shook his head, the signal that things were going bad, and he was showering to get away from it. I laughed and shook my head. "That sucks."

Turning I looked at Brendon and touched his sides. "You can have the stall that has the curtain. Don't worry, when the curtain is closed no one will bother you." I put a towel down on the bench inside the one I was going to use before tugging him over to the only stall that had a curtain, Dave had already turned on the shower on the other end.

"Don't worry Bren. It’s okay. A few of the guys have been playing practical jokes on their friends. They take their clothes and towel while they're in the shower so the guys have nothing else to use but the shower curtain to cover themselves. But luckily they left the one, just for you." I chuckled softly and pecked him softly on the lips. "There's shampoo cleanser on the dispenser on the wall. I have my own stuff too if you'd rather. But no one will bother you, I promise. Okay?"

I nodded. Running into the stall as fast as I could without slipping. Pulling off my boxers, I placed them on the hook outside, sneaking a peek to make sure no one was around. As soon as I got back inside, I turned on the water, not caring what the temperature was, got myself wet, lathered up the shampoo and scrubbed my hair.

While the shampoo was soaking, I grabbed some more soap, washing my stomach, legs, arms, underarms, package, then my bum before getting more shampoo to do my face then lean against the wall for my feet. Standing back under the water, I rinsed myself as quickly as possible before turing off the water, using the curtain to drape around myself so I could grab a towel, slid the towel around my waist, grabbed my boxers, and headed out of there as fast as I could.

Yes, I would definitely need a private room. It’s not like I don’t like being around guys, it’s just, what if I get turned on and hard or something, and I freak them out and they bash the shit out of me? That’s something that I don’t want to deal with...

I stripped off the boxers and climbed into the shower, turning on the water very hot. I heard Dave showering at the end and then heard Brendon's water turn on as I stepped under my own water. I tilted my head under and just enjoyed the feeling of the hot water on my skin, imagining it running over Brendon's body in the stall beside me. I probably should have just tugged him into the shower with me, but I didn't want to freak him out too much. The guys would be cool with it, I would be cool with it, but I wasn't sure that Brendon would be.

I took my time taking my shower. I heard Brendon get out of there faster than I could have thought he would have showered and shook my head. I finished taking my shower, washing my hair and body before rinsing off. It felt good being all hot and wet, and I couldn't wait for the day that I would feel I could trust myself to be in a shower with Brendon, just like the idea of being in bed with him, I knew I'd want more than I should.

I stayed in the shower a bit longer before I finally turned it off and shook out my hair. I wrapped the towel around myself and grabbed my boxers and things before I lazily walked back down the hall to my door. Smiling I knocked on it. "Bren?"

I made it back to his room without being seen. I walked in, immediately throwing my clothes back on, and sighing as I sat on his bed. That was close. I slapped my head. Damn, I’m a coward. And yes, again, an idiot.

I looked up as I heard a knock on the door, I wonder who it was. Surely Ryan wouldn’t knock on his own door. Would he?

Getting up, I walked over and looked out the peephole, laughing, I opened the door, “Do you usually knock to come in your own dorm room?”

I shook my head and laughed, closing the door behind me. "No, but I didn't think you'd want the door to suddenly open if you were in the process of getting changed."

I smiled softly and tugged him in, kissing him softly on the lips. "You don't need to be so freaked out about being on this floor though Bren. Half the guys are gay or bi, the other half I swear are bi or gay curious. No one cares who walks around here naked, half naked or clothed. And they certainly don't care if they see me with a boy."

I smiled softly and pecked his lips gently. "But the fact that you're so shy is cute."

Since my body was working again...and shivering, I guess I forgot the hot water in the shower, I noticed I was blushing, “I know, I am sorry, I mean, not sorry, but, you know... just a little freaked out, I guess. Cause, this is college and all...”

Pulling out my cell, I noticed that it was quarter after five. Dinner was served at six on the dot, “Hey, Ryan, we’ve got forty five minutes before we have to be sitting at my dinner table if we want to eat, so are you ready, I mean, as soon as to get clothes on?”

I turned around giving him privacy, I know I’ve already seen him naked, but this is different, I don’t know why, but it is...Trying to occupy my time, I looked around the other half of his room, noticing the grey shirt he wore last night, “Hey, Ryan, do you care if I borrow this?” I asked turning back around to see him full dressed.

I dressed quickly, tugging on a pair of jeans, nothing underneath, and then a black T-shirt. It was understated, not screaming gay, but being very much me. I nodded to myself in the mirror when I turned around and looked at Brendon. I looked at the shirt in his hands and then up at him. "Why? Do you need a clean shirt? I can let you borrow anything. But I wore that one already...."

I tilted my head to the side as I went over to grab my hair dryer. I figured we shouldn't look like we just stepped out of the shower, so I was going to be sure my hair was dry, and I was going to suggest he do his too. I had decided to not wear eyeliner for the night, even though I loved wearing it. I'd let his parents meet me without makeup first.

"And you might want to dry your hair or they'll know you were just taking a shower." I grinned over at him as I held up a brush and my hairdryer.

I shrugged, “Neh, I’ll just let it dry in the car, you know with the windows down, if it’s fixed, they will know something is up more than anything...”

Seriously...who blow-dries their hair? I’ve never a day in my life, ok, wait, I take that back, I did that once, but that was two years ago when Spence and I dressed up like 80’s people for a party, had to blow-dry to make my hair look bigger, but that’s all.

“And, no, I have a clean one, but this the shirt you wore last night? Right? I believe so, and if you don’t mind,” I lifted it and sniffed it, yep, Ryan...I blushed, “I kinda, wanna keep it, you know, so when you aren’t around, you are...or something, but if this is like your favorite shirt or something, I can get another one, or you can borrow one of mine and wear it a couple days straight...” I managed to spill out all in one breath.

I laughed softly and put the blow dryer down and walked over to him. I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him softly. "You're adorable Bren, you know that?" I smiled and moved over to a drawer, pulling out a small bottle of cologne. I quickly sprayed a little on me before handing it to him. "Here, so when it doesn't smell like me anymore, you can make sure it does." I winked at him and went over to quickly blow-dry my hair.

I watched him in the mirror for a few minutes before returning my attention to my hair, just getting the roots dry mostly so that it'll fall all right. I blew the bangs down over my eyes somewhat and then turned off the dryer before turning to look at Brendon. "Okay Bren, I'm ready to go."

I grabbed my keys and wallet, shoving them into my pocket as I shoved my feet into my shoes.

Why’d he always know the right things to say? He could turn shy me into feisty me in like a second. I liked that too. “I’m almost ready, but first,” I stepped up to him, pushing him against the door, “I need to do this...” I smiled, closing the gap between us, kissing him on the lips.

Pulling back reluctantly, “That’s since we won’t be able to do that at my parents, at least, not tonight.. .” I smiled, allowing him to open the door for me as I stepping into the hallway, waiting for him to lock it. “So, just follow me, I’ll drive slow, I promise, but I only live like two blocks from Spencer’s if you remember how we got there last night,” I sighed, “Damn, that was just last night, it seems like forever ago...”

I let my mind wander as we headed out to our cars. I was parked a couple rows away from him, so I shouted that I would wait till he was behind me to go, then I got in my car, turning on the stereo. Sinatra spilled through the speakers as I sat and waited.

I smiled when he kissed me. I loved when he got a little feisty, and I started wondering if maybe I should let our first time be showing him what it was like, by letting him be the one to be on top. I smiled to myself as I followed him outside but when then frowned a little when he said I was driving myself. I really wanted to ride with him. I chewed on my lip a little as I saw him get into his car before walking over to his and climbing into his passenger's seat.

"So, you said you're going to Spencer's after. I don't see why you can't bring me back here after we're done at Spencer's and still make it home in time for ten. So, I'm thinking you drive." I grinned over at him.

"And then I can sit here and distract you by looking all sexy and sitting here."

“Sounds like a plan,” I smiled, why didn’t I think of that? “And you do look really sexy, by the way...” I leaned over and pecked his lips, “But what about studying? I mean, I definitely want you to ride with me, but I don’t want to you take away from that, so I figured this would be easier, or, if you want, you can go get your books, cause I have yet to do my homework myself, and that would impress my parents, to see us studying together,” I placed my hand on his thigh as I turned down the radio, “Not that I, well, we need to impress them or anything, I am just saying...”

I sighed. Dammit, I need to breath. I don’t know why I was freaking out, I mean, it was pointless for us to drive separately, but also, that means I have to come back out tonight, which might be nice though, I’ll need a break from my parents, “Plus, I don’t think I’m going to Spencer’s tonight, cause I was kinda planning on going after I left here, and before dinner, but something much better came up!” I winked.

I laughed softly. "Brendon, you told me you were going after dinner." I tilted my head to the side. "So did you change your mind from when you got here to now?" I chuckled softly and moved quickly until I was straddling him in the driver's seat and looking down at him.

"I think....I think we need to go to Spencer's. We need to clear his name. And besides. If we do go after dinner then that means you have to drop me off here before going home. And that means that we can make out a little before I send you home."

Grinning I leaned down and kissed him softly and slowly before climbing back over into the passenger's seat and adjusting my jeans, telling myself that that had not been a very smart move. I didn't want to show up at his parent's house hard and panting for him. I'd wait for that part until he brought me home.

“Why do you always do that to me?” I asked as he readjusted himself, “If it’s cause I have lead us on and pulled back like five times so far, then I am sorry...cause that is bad...especially when we are heading to my parents, and I am wearing dress pants, at least jeans are already stiff and can cover the tent a little...I mean, really...” I winked turning the radio back up to Sinatra.

“I love me some Frank. Him,” I pointed to the stereo, “And Iero. I don’t know what is about him, but he is too much. I think it’s the eyes, his eyes are kinda like yours,” I pulled off campus and on the highway towards my house, “You have amazing wide and sexy eyes. I think your eyes, and well, your sexy hair that slung over your eyes, were the only thing that kept me from running the first night we met. Even though all the black scared me and reminded me of the Grudge...” I laughed, hopefully he would too...

I chuckled softly and shook my head, looking over at Brendon with a smile. "I do things like that because you're hot, and I want to touch you Bren, why else?" I chuckled and grinned as I turned and looked out the window. "And it’s your own fault that you're not wearing jeans. If you knew you were coming to see me then you should have put jeans on instead."

I grinned to myself and glanced out the window before looking back at him. "I really scared you that night? I mean...I heard some of what you were saying. I almost turned and went back into the club when Spencer recognized me." I bit my lip softly and sighed, resting my head back against the seat. "Is that going to be a problem? That I like that music and dress up like that occasionally to go to those shows? Because, although that isn't me all the time, that is me sometimes. I mean, I'm glad you didn't run away, but will you next time I get dressed up for a goth rock show or some other show like that?"

I looked at him and frowned slightly. "And no, I'm not punishing you or anything because of five times or whatever...that really doesn't matter all that much to me Bren. I'm not expecting you to just crawl into bed and have sex with me. As a matter of fact, if you turned around and told me you wanted to have sex in the next week or so, I think I'd have to turn you down because..." I shrugged a little. "If you aren't ready for it now, one week longer won't change all of that."

Well shit, there goes prom night....oh well, I’m sure if I was ready, that I could convince myself and him, cause if it were anything like what we just experienced in the room, then, I am game!

“No, you didn’t scare me, I dunno, you just shocked me, and no, I don’t care if you dress like that when you go to shows, but honestly, if you dressed like that everyday, which I know you don’t cause I saw your wardrobe, I don’t think we’d be a couple, or whatever we are, cause I am not that attracted to that, and I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I think you should have a remote attraction to the person you are with,” I passed someone, realizing that I was going a little too fast, I got in front of them and slowed down sighing, “I know, I am digging myself into a hole, I don’t want to fight with you or anything over this, I’m sorry for what I said, or how I treated you that night...”

I kept my eyes on the road, I knew I said something wrong, and he was gonna start something with me...and great first impression with my parents, if he does something, I have no shame to turn this car back around and tell him nevermind.

I frowned a little and reached over, taking his hand and threading his fingers with mine. "I'm not trying to fight with you Bren. I don't want to fight with you at all." I pulled his hand up and kissed his fingers softly. "I don't want to fight about it. We had a bad enough fight that night as it was. Or at least...I think that's what it was. We always seem to have this...I don't know, tension or something between us half the time. I hate it. I'd rather not walk into your parents' house with tension between us over something in the past. Okay?"

I glanced at him and squeezed his hand softly. "Who I am at those shows, the people I spend time with at them, all of that isn't who I am on a daily basis. You know that, but you didn't know that that night. And I probably was an asshole for doing to you what I did that night. I never did say sorry for what I put you through." I frowned softly. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have told you to put on a pink shirt and then go to the last type of club and show you would have ever expected."


I smiled. “Ok, and yeah, the tension has got to go. We only have three weeks together then you are going to be gone for three months, so I don’t want to spend the time fighting...which usually starts by me saying something stupid, so, from now on, I give you permission to tell me to be quiet and stop while I am ahead at anytime,” I looked at him and smiled, “Is that cool?”

“And thank you for an apology, I know I shouldn’t have judged you that night by the way you dressed, and yes, the pink shirt was a little too much for that place, but you know how it is when you have a bad impression with one type of person...and then stereotypes are pulled from all angles, so that night, it was nothing against you, just your look, and I know, I am contradicting myself, and I am sorry, it’s just all I can explain it as...”

"Brendon...stop." I smiled softly and looked over at him, squeezing his hand again softly. "Really, just stop. I know....bad experiences lead to stereotypes and what not. I understand that. And the pink shirt...well, it was so that I'd know it was you when you walked in. Because any other color would probably be seen somewhere on someone. But most people avoid pink at those shows. So that way I'd be sure it was you that walked in. You had seen me before, but I had no clue what you looked like. But I shouldn't have gone to that club that night. But...thats behind us. We're moving on to bigger and better things, and you're kinda stuck with me."

I grinned softly at him as I glanced out the window again. My fingers played softly with his. "Do you think your parents will like me?"

“Ok. And thank you for stopping, oh wait,” I cover my mouth, “You said I never had to thank you...”

I looked over and smirked as I turned onto my road, “And I like pink! That was a cool shirt...I think my sister took it back though.” Squeezing his hand softly, “And I am stuck with you, huh?” I smirked, “I like the sound of that...”

Pulling into my driveway, I shut of the car, “Of course my parents will like you...since their son does!” I laughed, “Either way, you have no choice!” I killed the ignition and hopped out of the car running over to open the door for him. Reaching out my hand to help him out, I pecking him quickly on the lips, still holding his hand and entwining his fingers as we walked up the sidewalk, to the porch, and in the front door.

I chuckled when he said thank you and shook my head when he caught himself. "Yeah, I did say you don't, but occasionally I won't yell at you for it." I grinned and winked at him, nodding when he said he liked the sound of being stuck with me. I liked the sound of it too. I wanted to be stuck with him, or at least, I thought I did. Our relationship was still young and new and all of that though, so it was something I wanted, provided things worked out with us, which the three months apart would test more than we probably wanted them to.

I chewed on my lip after he kissed me and followed him into his house. I usually wasn't nervous about things like this. But for some reason I was this time. He was still in High School, and I was in college, there were a lot of things his parents could say or do because of me. There were a lot of reactions that scared me, especially one where they thought I was taking advantage of their son. It really did scare me that it was a possibility they could try to get me for molesting him or something.

I squeezed his hand softly as we walked into the house, and my eyes darted around as we did. I swallowed and forced myself to take a deep breath. I'd never been so nervous about meeting someone's parents.

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” I shouted, turning back and smiling at Ryan, “They’re prolly in the kitchen,” I tugged at him, leading us down the hall into the kitchen. Might as well get it over with...

When we walked in, their backs were to us. Mom was poking at the lasagna, and dad was dancing around her with a spatula. Yep, those are my parents. I let go of Ryan’s hand to place my right hand on his back, clearing my throat. My parents turned around instantly before staring at me and eyeing Ryan up and down. In a good way I promise! I just hope he thought so. Cause that is just how they are...

“Mom, Dad, this is Ryan, Ryan, these are my parents,” I smiled at the both of them, “You don’t mind if he joins us for dinner tonight do you?” before they could answer, I made my way to the cupboard, grabbing plates, “Good, we’ll set the table.”

I smiled at Brendon's parents, nodding a little to them and murmuring a soft 'hi' before Brendon just continued, bowling over anything I was going to say or anything his parents were going to say. My heart was still pounding in my chest because I couldn't read their expressions or what was going on in their heads. I hated the not knowing part. The not knowing if they were okay with me there for dinner. The not knowing if they were okay with me being around their son. The not knowing if they were going to call the cops on me if I turned my back.

I bit my lip softly and moved silently over to help Brendon, hoping that it was okay, hoping that his parents weren't going to suddenly pull him out of the room and tell him to take me home. I took a shaky breath as I started helping him set the table, just staying quiet the whole time, listening for anything that would be a sign to me to run out of there.

I started setting the table, noticing he was helping me. I smiled at him as my father came in the room carrying a bowl of salad. Once he set it down, he wiped his hands on his pants, “Ryan,” he held out his hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he smiled, causing me to let out the first breath since I walked in the house. At least he was civil!

Smiling over at the two, I continued to set the table as they small talked about something, I was too excited and happy to even listen. Once it was set, I walked into the kitchen to grab some glasses and lemonade from the fridge.

“So, this is Ryan, Ryan Ryan?” my mom winked and asked.

“Yes, mom, this is Ryan Ryan, so please, be nice to him!” I stated as I walked back into the dining room with the drinks in hand.

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