This is Bullshit (18/?)
Title: This is Bullshit (18/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: Sunday and clothes shopping
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black.

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Driving up to the mall, I parked my car and climbed out. I took a few moments to look at my car, knowing that I wouldn't be driving it around for much longer due to the fact that it wasn't going to LA with me. I locked it up and smiled sadly to myself before turning and heading into the mall.

I had spent most of the afternoon packing some of the last few things, things that I wouldn't need for my last week, and I realized that, although I had a lot of clothes, I was lacking in fairly nice clothes to wear out to clubs and to interviews and anything of the sort. Essentially I was missing work clothes since I'd be working at clubs and things at night.

Smiling, I entered the mall and shoved my keys into my pocket. I glanced at the time on my phone and nodded to myself. It was about four thirty, so I had the time to go and get some food before going about trying things on. Grinning, I made my way to the food court, stopping at McDonalds and grabbing a hamburger, deciding to wait until I got to Brendon's work to get a drink.

Munching on my hamburger I grinned as I approached his counter. He didn't even see me there so I just leaned against the counter and finished my hamburger while I watched him. He was so cute being all dressed and ready for work. I just wished he was off already, I wanted to kiss my boyfriend.

Today was slow. Extremely slow. Matt promised me I could leave early from working so much last week. It was about quarter till five, and we hadn’t had a customer in a half an hour. I mean, seriously, it was an awesome day out who would want to be shopping at the damn mall?

Walking back to stalk the shelves and refill the juice machine, I asked Matt if I could leave early, again...

“Not until you help that customer,” he looked over my shoulder licking his lips, “Better yet,” placing his hand on my side, pushing me out of the way, “Why don’t I?”

I rolled my eyes. Matt was such a horn dog. I swear. And what sucked even worse was that he was bi, so he swung both ways and hit on them all. Seriously, the dude is 23 and still hanging out at the mall and hitting on fresh meat. Think Sweet Lou in Grind... I sighed as I picked up the stuff from the back, letting it slip from my hands, splashing all over my pants.

“Well, well, how can I help you?” Matt asked the customer in his ‘ultra’ smooth voice.

I chuckled when Brendon's boss asked if he could help me and I shrugged a little before responding. "Could I get a wildberry smoothie please?"

I did my best to give him a dazzling smile before peeking over at Brendon from the corner of my eye. I wanted to get his attention, but I didn't want him to get in trouble with his boss. I knew there were a lot of places out there that had strict rules about your boyfriend/girlfriend or just friends visiting you while you w ere at work. The last thing I wanted was to make matters worse and make his time working there even more miserable.

Pulling my wallet out of my pocket I gave him the money to pay for the smoothie before picking up a straw from the counter and playing with it a little while I waited. I wanted to catch Brendon's eye, let him know I was there, but he looked so cute working. Smiling to myself, I glanced around. I'd been to the mall often enough, I was sure I'd find somewhere to buy the clothes I was sure that I'd need for LA. I had told Alex my shopping plans, and he had said he might join me, because he didn't have much for good clothes either, but I was hoping that Brendon would be done with work to be able to go shopping with me.

“Dammit!” I muttered. I ruined my entire outfit. Not that I cared, I mean, it was a work outfit, but now I was gonna smell like oranges all day. Why do I have to be a damn klutz? I walked over to get the mop, slipping on the mess in the process. Luckily Matt was coming back at that time and caught me.

“Easy there Trigger,” he smiled as he helped me stand up straight.

I groaned, “Can I just have the mop? And once I clean this up, can I please leave? I just want to go home and change...”

He pouted, “Awe, poor Brendon,” before grabbing the mop and handing it to me, “And yeah, you can have the rest of the day off, but oh, can you work on Thursday?”

I went back to fill up the bucket, “No, remember, I have my first official concert that night, and my, um, friend is leaving for LA.”

He poured some soap into he bucket, ha, the boss was actually doing manual labor, “Your ‘friend’ huh? When am I gonna meet this friend of ours? And what was their name again?”

What the hell? He must have been eavesdropping on my conversations with my coworkers. I walked back toward the mess, looking at the counter, “I don’t think that is any of your...RYAN!” I shouted, running towards the front, forgetting completely about the spill, slipping and falling on my ass, “Fuck,” I mumbled, as I let me head fall back.

Matt tried to help me up, but I resisted his arms, “No, I don’t want your help, I want Ryan’s,” I pointed as Matt shrugged, looking up, presumably at Ryan and motioning for him to come back where we were.

Hearing my name I raised my eyes and then couldn't help but laugh when Brendon fell. I shook my head and looked down at him from behind the counter before being beckoned over to help him up. Smiling I shoved my wallet back into my jeans and walked around, giving the boss a smile before offering Brendon my hand.

"C'mon Bren." I smiled down at him and squeezed his hand softly when he took mine, slowly pulling him up and again as I chuckled softly. "I think we need to get you a change of clothes. Its a good thing that I'm here to go shopping, huh?"

I grinned and turned to look at his boss. "Not meaning to be rude or anything, but, am I going to be able to get my smoothie and get him outta here at the same time?"

I again turned on my most dazzling smile. I didn't know if Brendon wanted people at work to know I was his boyfriend, let alone that he was gay, so I just tried using my charms on his boss as if I was his friend.

"I could really use his help on something if you could let him go soon." I shrugged a little to say it was really up to him, but I glanced at Brendon and smiled softly at him before turning my attention back to his boss.

I thankfully took Ryan’s hand, trying to wipe my hands on my bum out of instinct when you fall on the ground, but I fell in wetness, so wetness is what was all over my hands. I sighed as Rachel, the other girl that was working handed Ryan his smoothie before busting out laughing at me.

I stuck my tongue out at her, like she has never fallen before... OK, so maybe she hasn’t but still. Looking over at Matt, I gave him my best pleading look. “Once you clean up this mess, you are free to go.”

I wanted to hug him! But that would be across the line...I think, I don’t know this boss/employees relationship guidelines. So, I hugged Ryan instead. After making sure to steady myself in the mess of course.

Placing a kiss on his cheek, since I was at work and PDA WAS a guideline I read about, I smiled, “Can you do me the BIGGEST favor ever?” I smiled, “I have a change of clothes in my car, so if I get you the keys, can you go get them, and then I can go shopping with you, just smelling like oranges and not so much looking like one?”

I thanked his coworker with a smile when she handed me my smoothie and returned my attention to Brendon. Nodding when he asked me for a favor. "Of course I can. And I like the smell or oranges, so I don't mind that."

I winked at him softly and moved out from behind the counter, since I didn't work there or anything. "Just grab your keys and I'll get your clothes. Do you have everything that you need? Do you need a change of shoes or anything that you don't have in the car? I can run to a store and grab something for you if you need me to."

I sipped softly on my smoothie and glanced over at his boss. "And thank you...um, I don't believe I know your name, but thank you for letting him out." I flicked my hair out of my eyes with a toss of my head and smiled over at Brendon again before sipping the smoothie.

Smiling at him, I moved to the front to get my keys, handing them to him and pointing to the keypad, “This unlocks, and this locks, they should be in the backseat, and in a paper bag, so the whole thing will be great. Thank you,” I smiled, returning his wink.

Turning around, I motioned for Matt, “Oh, and this is Matt, my boss, Matt, this is Ryan, my friend going to LA.”

Matt stepped forward, reaching out his hand, “So this is the Ryan I keep hearing about, pleasure to meet you!” he took Ryan’s hand, rubbing the top of it.

Um, I don’t think so, “Dude, today is the first time I have ever mentioned him, remember the rule, ‘Leave your personal life at home...’” I sighed, moving back to get the broom, “Thanks again Ryan, I should be done before you get back...”

I started mopping, furious at Matt. He made me look like an ass, either not talking about Ryan or talking about him too much. And I know the reason too, he prolly wanted to get in his pants.

Nodding I smiled at Matt. "Its a pleasure to meet you. Now, I'll just go get his change of clothes and be back." I held up the smoothie and said thank you before turning away and then stopping and turning back.

"Hey Bren? Where'd you park? The parking lot is too big for me to wander around pressing buttons on the keypad here. At least give me a general idea which door to go out of?"

I smiled sweetly at him because I could tell that he was not happy. I wanted to go over and kiss him and try to make him feel better, but I knew I couldn't, not while he was working at least. My hair flopped over my eyes again and I looked through it as I waited for his response, gently sucking on the smoothie. For expensive smoothies they were really good and I was wishing I discovered the place sooner, although I'd never make Bren make one for me.

Fiddling with the keys in my hand, I listened to his explanation of where the car was before nodding and smiling, giving a little wave and turning, heading out the door he directed me too and finding his car in mere minutes. I grabbed the bag of clothes from the backseat and make my way back inside the mall, just finishing up my smoothie as I approached the counter.

I sighed again, my ass still hurting as I mopped the floor in silence. Matt walked up next to me, leaning against the wall. “He’s a cutie. Looks older than a high schooler though, am I right?”

I just looked up at him and stared.

“What? You aren't talking to me now? Look if you don’t want to be interested in your friend, then just tell me ok.”

Again I just stared.

He crossed his hands on his chest “Well, if you aren’t going to talk, then I am just gonna have to ask him out myself, cause, let’s face it, no straight man wears jeans that tight unless they are in a rodeo...”

I threw the broom stick down, “You are not gonna ask him out.”

He cocked a brow and smiled, “Why’s that? Is he not gay, or does he have a boyfriend? I mean, he’s cute enough to have a boyfriend. A really hot boyfriend.”

Damn that fucker for knowing how to push my buttons, I should report him to the DM or something... “No, he’s my boyfriend, so keep your hands off!” I growled, turning to see Ryan at the counter, paper bag in hand. Shit. I hope he didn’t hear that....

I raised my eyebrows at Brendon and looked between him and Matt. "Um, Bren, your clothes..." I looked at him closely, seeing that he was obviously pissed off. I wasn't quite sure what to do to help the situation, or if there was anything that I could do after all.

Placing the bag on the counter I looked again at Matt and then back at Brendon. "Do you want me to wait for you here? Or...in one of the stores? I can wait wherever you want..." I bit my lip a little, glancing at Matt out of the corner of my eye when I suddenly felt a weight on my back.

"So...you said you were going to be shopping and here I find you in the food court. Do you need Alex here to supervise? Because it appears to me you haven't bought anything at all and I cannot condone that if we're going to be all excited over this trip!"

I laughed and glanced over my shoulder at Alex, his arms around my neck and his legs resting on whatever bit of hip he could attempt to find on my body, which wasn't much.

"Hey 'Lex, I was just bringing Bren a change of clothes so he could go shopping with me. I'm not slacking off." I nudged him off my back and turned to look at him, smiling as he kissed my cheek at the corner of my lips.

"Good, cuz I need to buy some new pants. And I want them to look fucking hot and show off my sexy ass perfectly. I'm so getting laid in LA!"

Laughing again, I shook my head and looked back at Brendon since Alex hadn't given him a chance to answer me.

Matt leaned in and whispered, “Looks like you aren’t his only boyfriend...” he winked.

I shoved him as hard as I could, “FUCK YOU!” I couldn’t take it anymore.

Pushing past him, I made my way to Ryan, grabbing the bag off the counter and rushing to the bathroom. I had to get out of these damn clothes, but even more so, I had to get the fuck out of that place. Away from Matt and his snide comments and traveling hands and eyes.

I just hoped Ryan was following me. I don’t necessarily blame him if he wasn’t since Alex was there, and he had to either explain my childish behavior or decide to just shop with him.

Once I got inside the bathroom, I slipped on a puddle. Dane Cook was right, why the hell are public restrooms always so goddamn wet? Fuck it. I gave up, and just crawled over to the handicap stall and collapsed against the wall.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am supposed to be happy. I have less than a week left of high school. My band has a show Thursday night. We are recording an album. All curfew is lifted for the rest of my life. I am going to college in the fall. And I have a boyfriend that I care about.

And that's leaving in less than five days....

Looking at Matt, I shook my head and watched as Brendon stormed away. Frowning a little I considered the situation for a moment before turning to look at Alex. "You can either come, or meet us at that store over there, I think that's where we're going to start. But...I need to go check on Bren."

I glanced over at Matt again and shook my head. "I don't know what reason you have for trying to upset Brendon. But really, if you're his boss, you shouldn't be interfering in his life and trying to upset your employee. Isn't part of your job to make sure everything runs smoothly and that your employees are happy and pleasant during the job? Wouldn't that then logically follow that part of your job would not be to make the work place miserable for all of your employees?"

Glancing over at the girl who had handed my smoothie I gave her a nod before turning around, feeling Alex close beside me as I walked toward the bathroom Brendon had headed for. "Everything okay with you and Brendon? He kinda looked pissed when he walked away...I didn't do anything to fuck anything up or anything did I?"

I smiled at Alex and shook my head, draping my arm over his shoulders. "No, 'Lex, you didn't fuck anything up. I think his boss pissed him off. C'mon, lets make sure he's okay. I dunno if he'll wanna go shopping with us though."

I pushed open the bathroom door and glanced around. "Bren?"

I slammed my fist into the wall as I heard the door open. Sitting as still as possible, I heard Ryan call my name. I saw two pair of shoes, the other most likely being Alex. Great, let the whole world know I am a fucking baby.

I coughed, “Yeah, just a second, I’m changing...”

Reaching into the bag, I decided I should take my clothes off first and use them to wipe myself off then I could put on fresh clothes.

“FUCK!” it seeped all through my boxers luckily I had an extra pair, “Goddammit...” I muttered as I let those drop to the floor too. Taking the shirt, I wiped off as much as I could, knowing it was pointless to use my pants that were completely soaked, but I knew I still needed more. And wouldn’t you guess the toilet paper thing was empty.

“Um, Ry, could you hand me some paper towels? I’ve got orange stick shit all over, and if they were wet, that’d be a little more helpful....” I know, asking for favors again, but that’s what boyfriends do right?

Looking at Alex I smiled and nodded toward the paper towels as I went about gathering some and wetting them. I whispered softly to Alex. "Stay here, if we need more, provide?"

He grinned and nodded, leaning against the bathroom door so that no one could come in while we went about getting Brendon cleaned up and dressed.

I stepped over to the stall and tilted my head a little. "Bren, let me in. I'll help you clean up."

Alex smirked behind me. "Uh huh, he'll help you get dirtier first if you let him."

Glaring over my shoulder I gave Alex a 'look of death' before laughing and shaking my head. "I'm not going to 'Lex. We're in a bathroom with you standing at the door. I'd rather get Bren cleaned up and dressed and get shopping than get...dirty in a mall bathroom. Besides, who knows who could shove your skinny ass away and come in! Ew!"

I grinned softly and stood by the door. "Let me in Bren. Please?"


I opened the door, looking over at Alex and smiling slightly.

“Thanks,” I muttered as I let him in. “I don’t really need help as much as I need this sticky shit off of me. I’m such a klutz sometimes.” I raised my arms as he helped me anyway. Taking some of the wet towels from him, I began wiping down my legs as he stood there.

Standing up straight, I just realized that I was naked in a public restroom with my boyfriend, and it wasn’t a turn on but kinda freaked me out. I quickly pulled out my pants, not caring that I had nothing on underneath or that I was still sticky and threw a shirt over my head.

“Look, I’m sorry about that before, and Matt and everything, you just surprised me and I overreacted...but, um, thanks for getting me off work early, I couldn’t stand another minute listening to him, usually he is cool, but he just got on my last nerve for some reason today...”

Shaking my head, I stepped closer to him, forgetting about everything else, and slipped my arm around his waist, pulling him against me. Using my other hand to pull his lips to mine, I kissed him slowly but deeply, just shutting him up the best way that I knew how to. Waiting until I felt him surrender before pulling back and smiling down at him.

"You didn't get yourself completely clean Bren. I saw the orange stuff still on your skin. You're gonna be all stuck to the clothes if we don't get it off." I caressed his cheek softly and then spoke louder. "Alex, grab me some more towels please? Just a little damp, not soaking."

I heard him grab the towels from the dispenser and wet them a little before his hand and the towels were shoved over the top of the stall door. I reached up and took them before turning back to Brendon. "Here, let me get the rest of that off, and then we can go and shop for a little while, lift up your shirt at least, if not take it off. And you don't have to apologize about what happened, okay? If your boss is such an ass, maybe you should try getting a job somewhere else. There's no need for you to work with him day in and day out if he's being so horrid to you."

I started rubbing the towels over his skin to get what I could of the sticky juices off. Had situations been different I thought that the taste of the orange on his skin would have been quite nice.

Dammit for being a hormonal teenager....

I kissed back, just as he pulled away. Nodding to what he said, but not really listening. I tugged off my shirt as Alex gave him more towels and began wiping off my still sticky figure. He was right, though, I would stick to my clothes.

I stood there letting him wipe me down. And I’d be damned if I wasn’t getting hard off of it, but then my mind went back to what got me in this situation in the first place and that was an instant kill right there. Once he stopped cleaning my body, I looked over at him and smiled, pulling him into my lips murmuring a thanks before I kissed him. Now it was my turn to control the kiss.

When I pulled back, I let my head stay against his, sighing, “What am I gonna do without you?” I asked, pecking his lips again, “You always seem to pick me back up again...”

I smiled softly and shrugged, pressing another kiss to his lips before pulling back. "You'll work, and you'll play with the band, and you'll call me and talk to me in LA as often as you want, provided I'm not caught up in something work related."

Smiling I grabbed his shirt and held it for him. "You'll miss me, but you'll be busy. I'll miss you, but I'll be busy too. You'll have Spence and the rest of the guys, I'll have Alex and whoever I meet in LA to hang out with." I shrugged a little and ran my hand through his hair. "It is only three months, and you'll at least see me for a weekend once a month. I'd say more if I could swing it, but I don't think that's likely."

Shrugging again, I looked at the towels in my hand before back up at Brendon. "Did you get your legs and everything cleaned off well enough that you're not feeling sticky?" I quirked my eyebrow, a small smile playing on my lips. No, I wasn't trying to do what Alex suggested, but still, the thought of getting to touch my naked boyfriend...yeah, it couldn't be ignored.

I heard Alex chuckle from the door. "I'll stand outside while you two finish up, and I'm gonna make a quick phone call." The door opened and closed and I could hear Alex on the other side making his phone call when I looked back into Brendon's eyes.

I smiled, “Yeah, I know, but um, Ryan can I ask you something?” I looked up at him as he was trying to help me into my pants. He nodded, so I took that as a chance to go ahead. I sighed wanting to get this off my chest since last night when I was lying in bed, knowing Alex was in my place at Ryan’s house.

“How do you know that I am worth it? I mean, how do you know that you want to stay with me and that you will be faithful when you are gone. Cause, if you, you know, are with someone else, I don’t think we will be a we anymore. And I want to trust you, and I want something, or need something to make me trust you,” I shook my head, “Not like something physical or even verbal, I just, I don’t know what I want and what I need. All I know is that if you cheat on me in LA that we are done. And I don’t want that.”

“So, I guess what I am asking is...Fuck, I don't know...” I ripped my fingernail off with my thumb, tossing it on the floor, “I’m scared. I like what we have and I don’t want it to change. I’m not, like, talking you out of going in no way shape or form, nor an I trying to break up with you...” I gulped, “I just need something to know that we are gonna be ok...” I bit my lip, looking up at him.

"Bren, I can't promise you that everything is going to be blissfully smooth and perfect. I wish I could, honestly. But I could turn around and ask the same of you. What reassurance would I have that, in three months, you won't have found someone you'd rather be with than me? You can't tell me its impossible because it isn't. It is very possible that I'll come home at the end of the summer, even though we've talked over the phone and all, and find that you are in love with someone new..."

I shrugged a little and played with his hair softly, not looking into his eyes as I thought about the rest of my response. "I guess I can't really promise you that nothing'll happen in LA either. I don't want to promise you something that I don't know that I can keep. But I am going to LA with no intention of cheating on you. I'm going with no intention to look for anyone else. I'm going with no intention of ruining what we've made with us. As for how I know you're worth it? There is more to a relationship than sex. There is more to a relationship than just being around and with someone."

Stepping away I tossed the towels into the trash and turned back. "Have you ever heard the oldie song about it being in the kiss? That everything you need to know about a relationship with someone is in the kiss?" I bit my lip softly while I waited for his response before continuing. "If I kissed you and felt nothing, then I'd have no problem going to LA and living however it came, including cheating. Granted, cheating isn't in my nature, but I am trying to prove a point."

Stepping forward again, I placed my hand on his cheek. "What do you feel when I kiss you?"

I’d never looked at anything so intensely as I looked in his eyes right then and there. Closing the gap, I kissed his lips. Just thinking. But not thinking. Cause it was finally becoming natural to me. I used to kiss him and worry about if I was good or not, now it is a hell of a lot more.

I pulled back and stared into him, “I feel, I feel like that's where I should be. Like there's no place else in the world that would be better than right here. Like everything I've thought about and dreamed about and worried about completely disappeared, and that I don’t care anymore if I'm good or bad or too wet or too dry, but just that your lips are against mine and that my stomach does this tingly thing.”

I blushed, looking at his lips before biting my own, “And I feel safe. And happy, if that makes sense, and like nothing will hurt me and that spark that I see in your eyes right now that you feel the same too...”

I sighed, looking completely away as I pulled off too, “But,” I shrugged, “I’ve never felt that before, and I’ve never kissed a guy like this more than once before, it’s just how do I know it is real? I mean, am I completely off by what I feel?”

Shaking my head I pulled him closer against me and turned his face to look into his eyes again. "You've told me what you feel about yourself and the situation..." I smiled softly and caressed his cheek before leaning in and kissing him again, waiting until I was sure the full extent and thoroughness went through the kiss before pulling back slightly and just whispering. "What do you feel from me Brendon? Don't just focus on the feelings, the...tingly stomach thing or your feelings alone. What do you feel from me?"

I pulled back to look into his eyes. "Because I don't know how to make you confident about what we are. I don't know how to make you believe me when I say I have no desire to go to LA to cheat on you. I mean, if I wanted to cheat, I don't need to be in LA to do that. There could be enough incentive to cheat here in Vegas if I wanted there to be. There aren't any words I can say that'll suddenly make everything crystal clear and perfect. There is nothing I can really do, besides kiss you, to show you my intent and my mind. I'm not sure how else to show you that I believe we will be okay."

I licked my lips slightly before pecking his again. "If all you're going to do is worry over me cheating on you while I'm in LA, you're going to be miserable and it will destroy our relationship. I don't know how to prove that you can trust me Bren. I guess maybe we jumped into something before we could establish trust, and maybe we should have waited longer before getting into any sort of relationship. But we didn't, and all I can say is listen to what your heart tells you, when you're with me and when you kiss me, and try to not think and worry so much about me cheating on you. I'm not going to have a conversation with you over what is permitted and what isn't while we're apart, but I can't promise things won't happen just like you can't promise things won't happen. I can promise that I'm not going out looking for someone or something. I have my someone and something right here. But is that enough for you?"

“I’m sorry. It’s just, what people keep saying about you and Alex’s relationship. I mean, we both know he is good looking, and we know the history, and we know that he will be there the whole time. I am just, I don’t fucking know, and it kills me...”

I sat down on the toilet, running my hands through my hair, “I don’t wanna fight about this either, I just want to get it all out. Not that there's anything to get out. It’s just, I trust you, but then when my friends or my boss or even complete strangers see you guys they think something is going on then I find myself second guessing myself and it sucks.” I looked up at him, “I don’t even know Ryan, I don’t even know. And honestly,” I let my head fall, “He's the only person that I fear you would do anything with...”

I shook my head, “I know that's bad, but it’s what I feel deep down. And when I kiss you and I feel you kissing me and I feel you touching me, his words about you and your hands and your touch are always in the back of my mind. I know I just need to get the fuck over it. I am aware of that, and I do at times, I am completely cool with it, but when someone like my jackass boss mentions that you already have a boyfriend, meaning Alex, then all the trust and confidence goes back down the drain again. And if fucking sucks more than I could ever comprehend.”


Sighing softly, I stooped in front of him and rested my hands on his knees. "I don't know how to respond to that Bren. Me and Alex...you know our history. And yeah, he knows me sexually, he knows what I'm capable of and he knows what I feel like, and eventually, you will too. I knew Alex for years, almost forever it seems, before either of us touched each other sexually or intimately, or in any way other than friendship. But just because he's experienced being with me too, that doesn't mean it should bother you. I mean, I understand why it does, I'm not going to be cold or anything and just say to deal with it, but at the same time, I cannot change the past and I don't think I would even if I could. I'm not proud of my sexual history, but it has made me a large part of who I am, so I wouldn't change that."

I bit my lip and thought again, trying to work a few things out before continuing. "I wish I could say something or do something to ease your mind about me and Alex. Yeah, Alex is hot, yeah, we have a history, and yeah, he'll be there the whole time, but that doesn't mean I'm going to throw everything away to jump into bed and have sex with him. Chances are, the extent of what will happen between the two of us is just what you've seen with your own eyes. He'll hold me, he'll kiss me, and we'll snuggle. Do you want him to promise you that he won't try to seduce me? Or that he'll keep his hands to himself in any way other than what you've seen? I can ask him to, and I'm pretty damn sure he would. He likes you Bren, and he likes me with you. He isn't out to ruin us. And as for other people's opinions...thats just...something that's going to happen. Like people seeing you and me together and thinking its disgusting. Or maybe seeing you and Spence together and thinking you're dating. I do have a boyfriend. And that boyfriend is you. Alex is my best friend, and we're more affectionate than most best friends, yeah, but he's still just a best friend."

I tilted my head to the side to look up into his eyes. "Maybe you should kiss him. Maybe you should spend a night in his arms. He's the best friend I could ever ask for, but I don't want my relationship with him to cause you to feel like this all the time. So maybe if you knew what it was like to be treated the way he treats me...maybe that'd help?"

I furrowed my eyes at him. What the hell would that prove?

“Look,” I stood up, forcing him to do the same, “You said everything that I wanted to hear, and I have closure, so I am sorry, ok, I’m not sorry I brought it up, cause I needed to, but I am over it, ok,” I shrugged, “I’m not gonna harp over it anymore. I understand what you are saying, and I respect that. I guess I just needed here it from you, again.”

I managed to smile, “But thank you, either way, you know. I mean, for the words and the kisses and what not. It did help me better understand the situation and stuff, but right now I just really want to get out of this nasty place and help you find some sexy clothes ok, and what is it that Alex wants? Some pants to get him laid?”

I made sure I was fully clothed as I grabbed my dirty clothes, stuffed them in the bag, and took Ryan’s hand leading him into the food court.

Once we were out of the bathroom and in the food court, I pulled Brendon against me and kissed him hard before pulling back and whispering. "I chose you as my boyfriend Brendon. If nothing else, remember that. I knew I'd be spending this summer with Alex. I could have chosen him, but I chose you." I kissed him again before turning as Alex walked up to us, looking between the two of us.

"You guys took a while...everything okay?" He looked concerned and I smiled at him, nodding a little as he held out his hand for Brendon's bag. "Lemme take that, I'll toss it in my bag so you don't have to carry it and you can concentrate on helping us find clothes."

He grinned as he slung his bag from his shoulder and I hadn't even realized he'd had it. Opening the top he shoved the paper bag with Brendon's clothes into it and the rifled around in it for a few minutes before pulling something out and holding it out to Brendon. "I just got all this, so you're the first to get it. But its all the information for where we'll be in LA and how to get a hold of us. Even if we're working. It also has addresses and everything so if you need to get anything to us or whatever, now you've got all the info you need."

Alex grinned bigger and gave me a look that said 'am I an awesome friend or what?' before he closed up his bag again. "It also has my cell number on it in case you can't get a hold of Ryan, and my e-mail address and instant messenger name since I'm bringing my laptop. Now that business is done with...lets get to the shopping!"

“Wait, hold up!” I smiled over at Ryan, pulling him into me and kissing him, making sure to run my hands down his sides and to his ass, giving them a light squeeze, then I placed them around his waist, hugging him, “Thank you for choosing me...” I whispered as I looked up, seeing Matt staring at me. I winked before removing my hands from Ryan and turning to Alex.

“And thank you too Alex, for this...” I held up the stuff he just gave me, reaching my other hand out to shake his, but bringing him into a hug instead, “I know you will,” I mumbled into his neck, “But take care of him in LA for me, will you? Bring him back in one piece...”

I stepped back smiling. Grabbing Ryan’s hand as we started walking towards the store. Glancing back behind my shoulder, I saw Matt still staring. I grinned and shook my head as we moved out of his view.

“So, where to guys?” I asked, crashing my hip with Ryan’s, “OH! I almost forgot to yell at you!”

Chuckling we headed for the first store and I shook my head. "We still have another few days, and you're gonna get the chance to tell Alex to take care of me and bring me back and all that other stuff without a problem, but what's this about yelling? Why're you supposed to be yelling?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked over at Alex who looked a little surprised and flustered after being hugged by Brendon. I knew he liked it, I could see that gleam in his eyes and all, but he was still surprised that Brendon had initiated it. It was rather cute.

We entered the store and I glanced at Bren as we started wandering through the racks. I didn't have a set idea of what I wanted, I only knew that I needed work clothes, and Alex wanted clothes to wear out. I kinda needed a combination of both, although I wasn't looking for pants to get me laid.

Following them into a store, I walked behind Ryan till he found a rack he might stay at.

“Yes, yell at you,” I started, “I was late for work today cause my grandma was over. Which usually wouldn’t be a problem, cause she ate most lunches with us on Sunday.” I picked up a blue button down shirt with a white pinstripes. Walking over to the mirror, I held it up to my body, inspecting it on my form.

I shrugged hanging it back up and looking at Ryan who stared at me blankly, “What?” I asked, seriously...

“Oh yeah! The story, anyway,” I put my hands in my pocket so I wouldn’t be tempted to look at the clothes again, “I was going to the laundry room in my underwear to get my work clothes, and she saw my leg,” I leaned in, “You know, the mark my made on me the other night,” I twisted my lips, looking around before continuing, “And then she had to give me this whole speech about pre-martial sex and protection to use otherwise and all this crap about MTV and kids these days. So finally I told her I had to leave, and she followed me around the house preaching. And then I saw my dad laughing, you know cause it's his mom, and I said, ‘Look Gramma, I’m gay! So that ain’t gonna happen...’ and well, that shut her up. But when I finally got to leave for work, she told me we would talk when I got home, then, when I went to work, Matt was on my ass about being late...so yeah, all because of those sexy lips of yours!”

I laughed and stepped forward, pulling Brendon against me and kissing him deep and hard before pulling back and murmuring. "What were your boxers doing high enough for her to see the mark?" I grinned and laughed as I pulled away, shaking my head a little. "Do you need me to go home with you and explain to your grandma that I'll be careful with you and that I'll be sure we'll be having safe sex?"

I winked at him and pulled out a pair of black pants, calling out for Alex and tossing them at him. "Try those. They look like they'll make your ass look drool worthy." I grinned when he gasped as if scandalized. "Oh, sorry, more drool worthy!"

I shook my head as I looked back at Brendon. "I'm sorry Bren. I didn't mean for you to get in trouble. But...you shouldn't have had your boxers up high enough for her to have seen that mark. That was supposed to be private and personal. Not for you to show off to your family." I grinned and winked at him, laughing softly.

I laughed, “It’s ok, I’ve already got a plan for you to make it up to me...but,” I winked, “That will be Thursday afternoon,” I pecked him on the lips, “Oh, and I wasn’t wearing boxers, I can’t wear boxers with my dress pants, they bunch up and stuff, so I had on briefs, and changed into boxers for work so I’m not all constricted when I stand for six hours.”

I looked at the racks again, kinda feeling like I was just in the way.

“Oh!” I picked up a light blue polo shirt with a sea gull embroidered above the chest, “Alex, try this on with the pants too, you’d look hot in it...” I blushed, “I mean, with you hair color and all...”

Turning back around, I made myself scarce as I looked at the belts, seeing a dude from my English class, “Hey man, you ready for it all to be over?”

Alex looked over at me after Brendon gave him a shirt and I shrugged a little and grinned. "Go for it 'Lex, he's right, you will look hot in that." I glanced over at Brendon but decided to leave him to talk to someone he knew without imposing because I didn't know if he wanted school people to know he had a boyfriend or anything.

Looking through a few racks, I found a couple pairs of pants that I liked for myself and took them with me as I continued walking around. I didn't really care if I looked 'fuckable' while in LA, but at the same time I did want to look good. I grabbed a couple of the shirts I saw and looked over at Alex as he motioned me toward the fitting room, showing me that he had a whole pile of clothes in his arms. I laughed and followed him, glancing back to see that Bren was okay before walking into the fitting room.

I put my clothes into one of the cubbies as Alex took the one beside me and proceeded to strip off my pants and pull the pinstriped pair on. They fit like a glove. I turned to check out my ass in them and grinned. I loved them, but I wasn't sure if they were appropriate for work or anything, but they'd certainly be hot for going out. I heard a cat call and looked up, seeing Alex peering over the edge of the cubby at me and my ass. "Those are fucking hot Ry! If you're not buying them I'm buying them for you!"

I continued to talk to Eric, but making sure I had my eye on Ryan. “Well, man, I’ll see you tomorrow, the stores almost closing, so, I’m gonna help my friend do some shopping.”

“Later,” he waved before walking over and kissing his ‘friend’ on the cheek. I smiled to myself, damn, I wish I would have gotten to know him...

Walking over to the dressing room, I laughed as I saw Alex on his tippy-toes staring in at Ryan. Shaking my head, I walked over and did the same, “What? Free show?” I mocked Alex’s words from Friday night, winking at him. I was defiantly getting more comfortable with Alex with him being our producer, the way he acted Friday night, the gesture he did before with all the info and Ryan’s encouraging words.

“Can I be a part of it?” I asked getting a full shot of Ryan from the front and with the mirror.

Laughing I shook my head and turned back to look in the mirror. "Well, Alex...if you really wanna buy them for me, you can, but I do think that I want them. And...you did miss my birthday and Christmas last year, so I think I will make you get them."

Grinning, I looked up at the two of them and wiggled my ass a little. "They're the best fitting pants I've every seen on your puny little ass Ryan." Alex looked over at Brendon and grinned. "What do you think, you think they make his ass look very fuckable or what?" He nudged Brendon and laughed to himself and nodded. "I'll get them for you. Find something to go with them and I'll buy that too. I'll buy you a whole new outfit!"

He grinned and jumped down to go and try on his own clothes. I looked up at Brendon. "C'mere you. I didn't wanna take you away from your friend or anything, but now I want to have you in here. You need to tell me if you like these pants."

I laughed at the two of them. They were cute together. I guess...there I am again, laughing at myself...

Watching Alex leave, I grabbed the handle and shook it, “Open the damn door!” I mock shouted. Once Ryan let me in, I pinned him against the wall, answering his questions before placing my lips on his, “You didn’t take me away from my friend, I walked away, cause the mall is closing in like less than a half an hour...” I leaned in and kissed his lips.

Forcing myself closer to him, I took his hands in mine, intertwining them as I pinned him further against the wall, both our hands now above his head. Out of habit, I ground my hips into his as I took his tongue in my mouth. Slurping lightly, I pulled back, “I think these pants look ‘fuck’ing amazing,” I made sure to emphasize the ‘fuck’ before kissing him again.

Groaning, I kissed him back and whimpered just slightly. I pulled back after a minute, panting softly and looking at Brendon, licking my lips. "God Bren...I'm glad you like them, since Alex is gonna buy me them and all." I grinned softly and leaned in to kiss him again, slipping my leg around his to pull him a little closer to me when I heard a noise at the door.

"Wow, another free show, this one all for me!" I laughed and looked over Brendon's shoulder to see Alex standing there and watching us with a very big grin on his face. "So I go and try on the clothes you want me to and when I come to show you you're all making out and getting hot and heavy...I think you should check out my ass in these pants."

Leaning forward, I licked gently at Brendon's earlobe, keeping my eyes on Alex before nibbling on Brendon's earlobe before responding to him. "Well, turn around so we can see then!"

I raised a brow as I turned around in Ryan’s arms, as Alex did the same, well, not in Ryan’s arms, but turning around to show us his pants. I smiled as he stuck out his bum, lifting his shirt to show it off more. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked at Ryan. Pecking him on the lips as I laughed, “Mind if I help him out a little?” I asked.

I stepped out of his hold and walked towards Alex before he could answer. Looking him up and down and shaking my head at the pant situation.

“See Alex, I know you are in college, and you haven’t been to high school a whole year and all, but that’s not how the cool kids wear them...” I tisked at him, “Do you mind if I show you?” I looked between him and Ryan hoping they wouldn’t care.

Alex looked at Brendon and then at me and shrugged. "And how is it that the 'cool kids wear them' Brendon? And, on top of that, how would you know?" He winked at him so he knew it was a joke.

I nodded at Brendon and moved forward to watch and see what Brendon was all about. Sliding my fingers down over the curve of Brendon's back as I stood close to the both of them. I loved how Brendon seemed to be getting so much more comfortable with Alex, even with the conversation that we'd just had earlier in the bathroom. I really did want the two men in my life to get along and be friends.

"Go ahead Bren." I leaned against the side of the doorway and looked at the two of them standing in front of me, wondering how on earth I ever got so lucky.

I bit the tip of my finger, not sure if I was ready to do it, but I did anyway. I reached for the sides of his pants, touching his skin which was on fire in the process. I needed to get a good grip, which luckily I got on the first try...since I didn’t want to look like a dork who was afraid to touch another guy.

I pulled them up as far as I could go. Hopefully not damaging his goods. “Ok, now squat down with your knees to stretch em a little...” I looked over at Ryan and smiled as he did, stepping back so he would have more room in the place that occupied three, but was built for one, “Ok, stand back up.”

Once he did so, I took my thumb and index finger of both hands and pinched the fabric right at the curve of his bum. Making sure not to get his boxers too, I pulled out lightly, stretching the fabric. “See, the key is not for it to fit snug to your ass. If it is baggy here,” I tugged on what I just pulled, “Your bum will have more of a shape, but if they are too tight or snug, they give it all away to begin with.” I looked at Ryan and shrugged before wrapping my arms around him, “And you prolly either want to wear briefs or nothing at all so they fall better.”

I laughed softly and pulled Brendon closer to me, kissing him before murmuring. "It is very rare that Alex wears anything under his pants anyway. You're lucky he's wearing anything today. But do my pants fit your rules?" I reached up and caressed his cheek softly before glancing over at Alex and grinning softly.

"Ry, are you wearing anything under your pants?" He smirked and stepped forward, pushing us away from the mirror to check himself out in it. "I think I'm gonna get these. They're hot. But Bren, how come you're not trying anything on? You should join in the fun of all of this."

I laughed softly and pulled Brendon's lips to mine again before murmuring. "We don't have a ton of time...we should get what we need and then get home. I dunno if we have enough time to go to another store or if we just have time for this one. So we should try to find everything we can here before they kick us out soon."

Kissing Ryan back, I reached around and kneaded my hands in his bum before pulling on the curve, basically doing the same I did to Alex, only, I was making out with him at the same time, “Now they do,” I winked as I moved to the other side of the wall, not really wanted to get hard in a damn dressing room of a store that was closing in less than a half an hour.

“Neh, I’ve changed enough for the day, and yeah, it's closing soon, but the mall doesn’t close till the last person leaves, so you know...” I smiled as I watched the two of them move around and adjust their pants while fighting over the mirror. I couldn’t help but laugh.

They both did look good in the pants, and I was actually jealous. Grant it, I do have a finer ass, they still looked good. I sniffed the air. Dammit. Oranges, speaking of oranges, I needed a new pair of pants for work. Looking at Alex’s I asked, “Hey what size are those? I could use a new pair of work pants, mind if I try them?”

Alex shrugged and stripped them off, handing them to Brendon before going into his fitting room again to try on the rest of the armload of clothes he'd brought in with him. Leaning over, I kissed Brendon before slapping his ass softly so he'd go into one of the others, and I could finish trying on the things I'd brought in with me. I actually had grabbed a couple other pairs of pants, one of which looked to be the most perfect pair of jeans I'd ever seen, even though I didn't wear jeans much. I wanted to look especially hot on Thursday for their show, and I wanted to surprise Brendon with what I bought.

I tried everything on as fast as I could before deciding on what I wanted, taking the jeans, the pants Alex was buying for me as well as two others that were basically the same cut but in different styles and colors. I also had a few shirts, a couple that were button down and a couple that were more dressy styled T-shirts that I thought would be perfect for nights out at the clubs. I gave Alex the things I wanted him to buy for me and told them I'd be right back and made my way out to pay for the clothes I was buying for myself. I grabbed the shirt I'd seen Brendon checking out earlier, I knew it'd be hot on him, and I added it to my pile as the guy at the register rang me up.

In the dressing room, I tried on the pants Alex had on, hmm, about the same size. “Hey, Ry? You think these will be ok for work?” I asked peering over to the next room. Hmm, he was gone.

Walking out of the dressing room, I looked at the three-way mirror before peering out into the store. Dammit, he was at the check out. I hated when I worked at the clothing store and people left the dressing room in clothes they were trying on. Debating whether to ask Alex or not, I figured I just touched his bum, so I was prolly cool with his opinion.

Knocking on his door, since looking over would be rude, “Hey, Alex, I need your honest opinion...Are these pants ok to wear to a work at the food court, or in my dad’s office, I don’t want them to be to dressy or too tight...”

Alex opened his door and leaned against it as he looked out at Brendon. His eyes slid over Brendon's body and he nodded with a grin. "They look hot Brendon. I think you should get a pair of them too. Ryan would love those on you I think. And even if you don't wear them to work..." He grinned as he stepped up to Brendon and tugged him in front of the mirror. He tilted his head to the side a little and smirked. "Yep, even if you don't wear them to work, they'd look hot on stage. You definitely need to get a pair. Here..." He grabbed a slim fitted button down shirt and handed it to Brendon. "Try that on with it."

Up at the counter I paid for my clothes, smiling that I got everything I needed combined with the rest of the clothes I had at home, and I had a gift for Brendon. I made my way back toward the dressing room when I found a florescent pink shirt and grinned as I remembered that night I'd first met Brendon and Spencer. It felt like ages ago, even though it really hadn't been long at all. I picked up the shirt and regarded it for a few minutes, wondering if Brendon would enjoy his own pink shirt.

I shrugged as I looked at the shirt he handed me. It was almost like the shirt I saw earlier. Lifting mine over my head, I put the hanger on the hook as I unbuttoned it while it stayed there. Twisting my mouth, I let my shirt fall to the floor next to Alex’s clothes.

Um, I just now realized that I was shirtless in a dressing room in front of Alex. I know, I was naked in front of him in the pool, but that was different, Ryan was there. Feeling self conscious, I peered in the mirror out of the corner of my eye, seeing Alex staring at me, luckily we didn’t make eye contact as I almost ripped the last button off to pull it around me.

Not judging my arms, I had fisted my hand to go through the sleeve, punching Alex in the process, knocking him into the wall, and I myself losing my balance.

"Ugh...well, if you didn't want to try it on you didn't have to!" Alex shook his head and rubbed his chest where Brendon had hit him, furrowing his eyebrows a little and pushing up from the wall. "Ow..." He pouted a little over at Brendon.

I picked up the pink shirt and smiled even bigger as I went over to Brendon's fitting cubby. "Bren...I have something for you to try on..." I chuckled to myself and played with the hanger. I didn't' even realize he wasn't there but that he was with Alex. Frowning I looked at the door and bent down to look under the door.

"Bren? Where'd you go?" I looked around, peering out into the store, frowning before turning back and feeling utterly confused.

Oops.

I fell towards the wall too, using Alex to push myself back up, “It’s not that I didn’t want to try it on...it’s just that...” I gulped not wanting to tell him that I was scared cause he was looking at me, or shy or whatever I was at the moment...

“Sorry,” I managed to mumbled as I looked down with my shirt swinging open. Out of instinct, I reached out and rubbed the red mark I made on his chest. Well, I’m not sure if I made it myself or if he did from rubbing it, either way, I ran my hand across it, looking up at him, “Are you ok? I really didn’t mean to hurt you, honest...Ryan would kill me if I took out his best friend...” I tried to make him laugh as I had yet to remove my hand and we held eye contact.

Alex smiled softly and nodded. "I'm fine Brendon, I was giving you a hard time." He grinned, but didn't move away. Instead, he reached forward and started doing up the shirt Brendon had on, just letting Brendon rub his chest if he wanted to. "Hold on Ry, he's here!"

My head jerked around and I looked at Alex's door, wondering why it was that Brendon was in with Alex. "Oh?" I moved over and stood outside of Alex's door. "And what is Bren doing in with you? You know I don't trust you alone with guys I'm crushing on." I smiled a little to myself, but I was very curious as to what Brendon was doing in the fitting room with Alex.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited, the pink shirt still dangling from my fingers. I didn't know what Brendon would think when he saw it, but I hoped he'd understand what I was hinting at. I checked the time while I waited, we had maybe fifteen minutes or so until the mall was going to close.

I removed my hand at Ryan’s voice, letting my jaw drop. Damn me and my teenage hormones. About to reach for the door, I came face to face with a hot pink shit. I laughed, as Alex continued to button me up, “Oh no...not this again...”

Grabbing the shirt from him, I opened the door, “You, my boyfriend, will never see me dressed in this color again! Not the NIGHT FROM HELL!” I laughed as I handed it back to him, “Please, take it away before I get memories!” I fake gasped.

Turning towards the mirror, my shirt was now buttoned, thanks to Alex, “So, guys, what do we think? I could prolly pull it off at dad’s office...or...do you think I should have like a costume for stage?” I tucked it in, pulling Ryan’s belt off and putting it around me.

CONTINUATION HERE