This is Bullshit (21/?)
Title: This is Bullshit (21/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: First call after separation
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black.

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Alex and I had spent the weekend setting up our apartment. The company we would be working for had arranged for their interns to share appartments and were providing us with a small amount of money to facilitate our weekly needs. Between me and Alex it would just barely be enough for us to eat. We both had money of our own to help us with the extras like laundry and entertainment.

Our apartment was a two bedroom apartment. It had one bathroom, a kitchen, and a living area. The two bedrooms were about the same size and both had fairly good views as far as views went in the building. I'd have to say we probably got the best ones out of the interns that were housing there. We'd set up our apartment, my room pretty much reminded me of college, and luckily enough they'd provided all the furniture for us, so it was just adding our own touches. It was us and it was comfortable, that was all that really mattered to the two of us.

We'd gone and met the other interns in the building and we'd gotten along with them all. We all went out to dinner and Alex and I got back to our apartment around 9. We curled up on the couch together watching movies and I played with my phone, trying to figure out if I should call Brendon or not. I knew he was graduating, I just didn't know when would be good to call him.

So I had finally graduated from high school. Did I feel any different? No. Hopefully one day I would. I just got done with dinner with my parents and family that came in. We weren't having my graduation party till July. Sort of a Fourth of July summer bash. Should be fun, I just hoped Ryan would get a long weekend to be here with me. My family, who knows thanks to my father, wanted to meet him.

I guess it wasn't to bad that they knew, I just wish I could have told them. Well, I say that now since they didn't take it bad. Hell most of them had already assumed anyway. Did I act that gay?

Me and Spence were in a SuperWalmart looking for something to light fireworks with. Matches? Anyone? Anywhere? Come on! It was pathetic. Really it was. Oh maybe the outdoor area! The Garden Center! That's it! We made our way over there and luckily found some. Oh, ones with longer sticks so you don't have to stand so close! Sweet! That would make for a good after party at Steve's party.

After we picked up what we needed, we headed to check out. What the hell, two lanes open on a Sunday night? A damn twenty minute wait for $1.50 matches. So there, we waited. As we stood in line, which was all the way extended into the clothing section, I saw a hot pink shirt. It reminded me of Ryan. Great, I was able to go a WHOLE five minutes without thinking of him. I wondered if he was too busy to talk to me...

I looked up at Alex as he looked down at me. He ran his fingers up over my cheek and tucked the hair behind my ears. "Call him, Ry. I know its what you're waiting to do, so just call him. If he's too busy having after graduation fun, he'll let you know and call you back later. But seriously, just call him and get it over with."

He knew me too well. I nodded a little and leaned up to peck Alex's cheek before resting my head down on his shoulder and looking at my phone. I flipped it open and hit speed dial 4. My parents were under the second speed dial, Alex was the third, and Brendon was the fourth, and voicemail was first. Chewing on my lip, I put the phone to my ear and listened, waiting for Brendon to pick up. I just hoped I didn't get his voicemail, I wanted to at least congratulate him for graduating, even if we couldn't talk very long.

Alex squeezed my shoulders softly and just held me. He'd held me the past couple nights because I missed Brendon so much already, and I'd only been gone a few days. I was thanking all the powers above that I had Alex there with me or I wouldn't have even gotten through the weekend let alone the summer.

I was laughing at Spencer who was trying on clothes outside of his own when I felt a vibration on my bum. Ohhh, nice! Pulling out my phone, I looked and saw it was Ryan. if my smile grew any bigger, it would have lost my ears to the back of my head. Pointing to the phone and mouthing to Spencer it was Ryan, he shooed me away as I wondered in the girls clothes section.

"That was weird," I started, "I was just thinking about you!" My grin grew bigger, "Oh, if I could hug you over the phone, I so would, but I'm in WalMart and I might look like a dumbass if I hugged myself."

"OUCH! I just walked into a rack, I am so excited," Seriously I did. This huge rack filled with tube-tops. That's shudder material if I've ever heard it...

"So, Ry, how is it? Tell me EVERYTHING!" I was jumping up and down. Ok, so maybe I did act that gay, but really, this was Ryan, my boyfriend and I hadn't seen him in 58 hours and he was in another state!

I laughed at Brendon and shook my head a little as I pressed a little closer to Alex. I could just imagine him at WalMart, he was probably with Spencer and the other guys, and part of me wished that I was there with him. Alex chuckled and I knew he heard Brendon's voice over the phone and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"Everything, huh? Well, Alex and I got on the plane only moments after I said goodbye to you. We sat in first class and I fell asleep against him while we flew to LA. We arrived in LA and got off of the plane. We went and grabbed our luggage and took it out to the car that was waiting for us. The car took us through LA and to the apartment building where we're living. We unloaded the bags and carried them up to our apartment which is on the fifteenth floor of the building. We brought out bags into our apartment and each selected which one we wanted. We spent the rest of the weekend setting up our apartment and bedrooms. We met the other interns and tonight we went out to dinner with them. Oh, and we went grocery shopping Friday night, I forgot about that."

I chuckled softly to myself. I knew that wasn't exactly what he was asking, but it was okay, I went over most everything.

I laughed at him. Once he was finished, I sighed, "Damn, it's a good thing I love your voice so much cause I would have hung up by now..."

Flipping through a rack of jeans, yes, girl jeans, but they were stretching and they fit better on my bum, "That's great though, I can't wait to come and see it! You apartment that is! So do you have to be they bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning? Is it a commute?"

I turned around and came face to face with Spencer and screamed, "How did you get through the line so fast?" I asked him as I placed the jeans back on the rack.

"A new one opened up. Come on Bitch, let's roll, you two can talk in the car," he grabbed my arm and drug me out as I waited for Ryan to answer.

Brendon's scream and his questions made me laugh. I laughed even harder when I heard Spencer call him 'bitch' because I knew it was Spencer and because I was right, he was out with Spencer. Alex looked down at me and smirked. "What's so funny?"

I grinned and moved the phone slightly. "Bren, he's all bouncy and then Spence scared him and he screamed, and then Spence called him a bitch. It was cute." Alex made this little face, I knew he was missing being back with the guys as much as I was and I snuggled closer to him before returning to my conversation with Brendon.

"I think you'll like the apartment. It partially reminds me of college, but on such a nicer scale. 'Lex and I each have our own room, we have one bathroom, a kitchen and a living area. Its pretty nice."

I glanced over at the TV at the movie he and I were watching before continuing talking. "Yeah, we have to be there tomorrow, but not until 11. They're doing orientation for us and all, and it sounds like a lot of our work is going to be afternoon and evening stuff, and then working at clubs some nights too. Every day has a different schedule. So some days we'll have to be there earlier than others. But it isn't too far to the office. Its kinda up the street. So, what're you guys up to?"

I followed Spence out the car as I listened, I almost walked into some little girl and her mother ripped her away in horror like I was going to kill her or something. Almost making it to the car, Spence came running up behind me hopping on my back, "FUCK!" I yelled, "Just get in the damn car and drive so I can talk to my boyfriend!"

Wiggling him off me, I waited for Spence to unlock the door as I hopped in, "That sounds awesome, keeping you on your toes will be good, cause the routine thing sucks, it sounds cool though! You have to remember to take notes on things that'll improve our band too!"

Watching Spence pull out of the parking lot, I had a craving for Sonic, "OH! SONIC! I want a strawberry limeade!" I giggled.

"Yes Miss Highness..." Spencer laughed.

I shook my head, but grinned as he pulled into the lot, "Sorry, but yeah, we have kept ourselves busy. I took your advice and busied myself so I only thought about you ever three seconds instead of two," I smiled, not like he could see it, "But, we have been doing stuff, like practicing, parties, that graduation crap., oh yeah and we all got tattoos!"

"You've done all that since I left Friday? Even getting a tattoo?" I frowned a little because for some reason I couldn't picture Brendon getting a tattoo. Alex had one, hell, he was probably going to end up covered in them eventually, but Brendon just didn't really seem the type, not that I didn't think it wouldn't be hot or anything.

"Don't worry though, we'll definitely be taking notes for anything that can help out the band and help us do our jobs better. I don't know when we're going to actually get to interact and work with any of the bands, but once we know we'll definitely work it out so that we get as much information as we can."

Alex turned off the tv when the movie ended and turned on the stereo instead. He just held me while I talked to Brendon. "Congrats on your graduation Bren. I'm really sorry I wasn't there tonight for it. I promise I have a graduation present for you. But I want to give it to you when I'm with you."

I raised my brow at that. Wonder what it could be...

"Yeah, when we were fifteen, we all made a pact to get a tat before of senior graduation, so we did. Mine is super small and in a location where only you can see it..." I smiled at myself, thinking of the new camera phone my parent's got me for graduation, "Oh, and when I'm alone, maybe I'll take a pic of it for you to enjoy until I get there..."

Telling Spence to order em a small slush, I reassured Ryan, "It's cool, when you have time to think of the band between all your other work, you will, if not, it's cool. But yeah, it is smart of them not to throw you into the dealing with popular bands until you have paid your dues and stuff..."

We pulled into a spot and waited for our drinks, "How's Alex? Tell him I said hi," I laughed at Spencer pointing to himself repeatedly, "And Spencer did too..."

"What is it you got Bren? Or are you not going to tell me until you send me a picture of it?" I bit my lip again, just thinking about it. I had kinda thought about getting a tattoo as well, but I'd been too scared of the needle to actually go and get one. I also could never decide on what I wanted. One month I wanted one thing, another I wanted something else. My luck, I'd get something and regret it a month later.

I looked up at Alex and smiled. "Brendon and Spence say hi 'Lex."

Alex grinned and leaned down near my mouth. "Hey Bren and Spence. Don't miss us too much."

Chuckling I gave Alex a quick peck back when he kissed me before he returned to resting his head against mine. "As you can tell, Alex is doing just fine. There is no way I could be doing this without him. Half the time I want to climb onto a plane and fly home instead of staying here. But I am excited about this too. I know they've gotta train us and all before throwing us in with the big guns, but I can't wait to meet the bands we're going to be able to meet. It'll be exciting I'm sure. I really hope to be able to make good connections with a couple of them."

I nodded to Spence as our drinks came. He took both drinks, put them in the cup-holders and placed straws through the top before putting his vehicle in reverse and heading to Steve's.

"What's the fun in telling you everything, you know I am as sucker for suspense and surprise..." I laughed, hoping I didn't give too much away from what I had planned, "So, when I get to Steve's I'll find an empty room and take a snapshot, we should be there soon..."

I sipped my slushy making an 'Mmm' sound, "I would be flipping out right now if I knew I would be rubbing elbows with such, 'Hey Urie, Wipe my ass...' and I'd be all over it, that's crazy. And if you were to come back on a plane right now, I would kick you and shove you back on. Or, I'd let you be a baby, and take your place," I laughed, hoping he could sense the joking-ness of the matter.

"Oh, so my aunt and uncle are remodeling their house, but they want me to come visit, so I was thinking, in like a month or maybe less, that if I could come out, that maybe you would let me crash there..." I asked as my eyes crossed and my head pounded. Damn for drinking too much too quick.

Alex was running his fingers through my hair and playing with it softly. My eyes drooped closed and I wondered if he was trying to tell me it was time to go to bed. He knew that things like that relaxed me enough for me to fall asleep. I pressed a little closer and glanced up at him. He smiled softly and kissed my forehead, murmuring that he was going to go to bed soon. I nodded a little to let him know I understood.

"I don't think that'd be a problem Bren. There aren't any rules about having guests, just as long as I do my work when its assigned. It wouldn't be a problem for you to crash here. I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind. It'd mean getting rid of me for a few nights so he go out pimping with the other guys and pick up someone. I think I cramp his style."

I grinned as he shoved me playfully. "But no, I can't go home right now. This is far too good of an opportunity for me, and for you guys. We're determined to get your cd into a few people's hands. And I swear I'm getting it into Pete's. I don't know how, but I know he has a house around here. If I don't see him, I'm going to find out where his house is and put it in his mailbox with a note if nothing else."

I laughed at him as we pulled into Steve's driveway. When he had parties, he didn't let anyone park there but his real friends, so Spencer took his common spot behind 's. Walking inside, I smiled at a few people before heading upstairs to be alone. Pushing through Steve's room, I sat down on his bed, feeling around for the lamp next to his bed.

"Cramping his style huh? Well you need to go out and have fun too, just not as much fun as he is. I'm sure you will make friends with another intern that is in the same situation of a boy or girlfriend back home, just give it time. Wait, what am I your mother?" I slid up Steve;s bed, getting comfortable.

"And don't get yourself a restraining order by stalking Pete, I know how you worship him and all, but we aren't worth jail time," I smiled. This was the first time I was completely relaxed and allowed myself to sit still since he left, He was right, I did have to busy myself to forget about me missing him.

"Oh, and I am all alone in Steve's bedroom, wanna see my tattoo?" I giggled wanting to take a pic of just the tattoo and not where it was at to surprise him.

I chuckled softly and snuggled closer to Alex. He was like a giant teddy bear, who could blame me for snuggling with him? "We've already made friends Bren. We went out to dinner with all the other interns. It was pretty sweet. They're mostly guys but a few girls. And theres some very hot guys too. I think Alex has already picked one or two whose pants he's gonna try to get into." I grinned up at Alex as he nodded, agreeing.

"I'm gonna have fun, I'm not going to stalk Pete. I'll put it in his mailbox, I won't sneak into his bedroom and put it on his pillow...although, I would like to see his bedroom all the same..."

Alex leaned in to speak into the phone. "I'll get into his bedroom and take pictures after I've gotten into his pants."

"'Lex! No getting into Pete's pants. If I can't, you can't!" I laughed softly. "You're gonna have a lot of guys, you don't need my Pete! And yes, Bren, I want to see your tattoo."

Those two were like an old married couple. it cracked me up!

"Ok, and yes, you aren't allowed to have Pete, but Alex, I dunno...that might be kind of hot," I laughed, "And I know you made friends, but those friends might want to hang out or some might be there for the same reason as Alex, well, the same two reasons, and hopefully his sake, the cute ones are on his page..."

I unbuttoned my pants and tugged down my underwear a little, "Here just a sec, I'll take a pic. I was really excited about it, but it kinda made it pointless cause you weren;t here to share it with me, and I didn't wan tot be all, calling you as soon as I got it, but really, I've been wanting to show it to you cause..." I'm rambling, "Ok, I'll shut up and take the picture..."

Hanging up the phone, cause I am not sure if I can talk and take pics at the same time, I made sure the light shined on it a little. Hit the button and snapped the pic. Looking at it, I nodded as I stored it, and sent him a pic message. Then called him back.

"Did you get it?" I asked as soon as he answered.

I pouted a little when he hung up, but then raised my eyebrows as I got the message. I checked out the tattoo and then answered his phone call. "Yeah, I got it. It looks nice Bren. I like it. But you know, you could have gotten it while I was there. Where'd you get it?"

Alex was grinning when I realized he'd seen it too. He leaned down to whisper into my ear. "We should go get you one. In a very nice and sexy spot. I'll help pick it out."

I giggled a little and squirmed at Alex's breath on my ear and grinned up at him, shrugging a little because I wasn't sure I really wanted to go thru getting my own. "And you think Alex and Pete would be hot, huh? Well, if I can't have Pete, he can't either. Pete and Frank are the two rockers that I'd love to fuck. And I'm not letting Alex have either of them. And I'm SURE some of the guys here for the internships are on Alex's page. I think most of the guys are actually. They were gushing about different stars at dinner and who they would love to meet. I think I made my claim on Pete and Frank pretty clear."

I grinned to myself, knowing I wouldn't be allowed to have either one of them, but that didn't mean I couldn't lay claim to them and hope the rest of the guys would respect my desire. I could, at the very least, dream a little.

"You'll have to wait and see," I smiled as I buttoned myself back up and sat down on the bed, "Oh, and Alex is right, you should get one too, in a very sexy spot. And maybe the both of us can help you pick it out when I come visit..."

Resting back on the pillow, "And you made claim on them? What does that mean?" I laughed, "No one can talk or touch them? Do you really think they would go for interns, I mean, you both are hot as fuck, but isn't Pete with that one girl in that one movie, although, we all know he is really with Patrick..."

"Speaking of Patrick...if you see him, give him a HUGE hug from me...that guy is adorable as all get out in my book, oh and Mikey too! Damn, I'm getting as excited as you and I am stuck in boring old Vegas..."

I sighed as fiddled with my shirt, "I miss you Ryan...I wish you were right here, tight now on this bed with me..."

Smiling, I looked up at Alex and then closed my eyes. "My claim on them means that I get first shot at them. We all laid claim on some of the stars we might meet. Those were the two I wanted to lay claim to, so they're mine for the taking, if they were interested. Although...Alex would be the one to end up with either since he is so much hotter than the rest of us."

I made a kiss noise at Alex before yawning softly. "I might get one, I dunno though. We'll see. I'm not a fan of needles or anything. But we'll see. As for Patrick...well, I dunno that he'd appreciate getting a hug from me randomly. But I'll keep it in mind for sure."

Alex kissed my head again softly before telling me was going to go get ready for bed. I nodded and moved so he could get up before falling back down on the couch. "I miss you too Bren. I wish you were here with me too. But you will be in a couple weeks, right? You're gonna come visit soon?"

"Ok, as long as you don't take them up on that offer, or better yet, call me and stall them so I can come and join!" I shook my head, I hope he really won't do that, I mean, yeah, I've filled out those survey things when they ask if you could fuck anyone in the world who would it be...but it is SO hypothetical, no one would ever get the chance to do it.

Acting shocked, "What? Patrick would love a hug form a random people, he seems so huggable anyway, oh, I sang the other night for some girls at my friends party, and they said I kinda sounded like Patrick. I could have been cause they were drunk and I sang 'Saturday' but still... It was one of the best complement is had ever received about my singing.:

"And, yes, I will be there, unfortunately, later than sooner I just need to ask off work, and do you have any clue if it would be easier to do weekday or weekends to visit? I know you prolly won't know until you are trained, but I don't want to get in the way when I am there."

"I really don't know yet Bren. I wish I did. But we haven't even gone through orientation yet to find out what our schedules are. Maybe I'll be able to tell you tomorrow. I don't know. I honestly don't, Bren. Okay? I'll see what they say tomorrow and let you know. But chances are, I'll probably have to work a little while you're here, whenever that is. I don't know how much time off they're going to give us. But we'll see what they say tomorrow and I'll let you know, okay?"

I could hear Alex moving around in the bathroom, getting ready and then going into his room to make sure he had everything ready for the next day. I closed my eyes and rested back against the couch. "And thats awesome about the compliment Bren. You sound amazing when you sing. I love listening to you. Oh, and I've been listening to the iPod a lot, well, until I go to bed at least. I can't sleep with music on, but I've been listening to it a lot. Even Alex listened to a couple songs. He loved the idea."

I laid back as someone pounded on the door, "It's open!" I yelled, really, I would have tried the damn knob. Spencer poked his head in saying that the firework show was about to start. So we got some ideas from the Release the Bats DVD...nothing wrong with a little inspiration.

Giving him the 'one minute' finger, I gave my attention back to Ryan on the phone, "I know, I was just asking, sorry...I understand the whole work thing."

"I've been listening to your cd too, see, we are brilliant! We both had the same concept of the music! Music is always number one on my list, but don't worry, you are in my top five!" I laughed, of course food had to be up there too, speaking of which, my stomach was growling, "So are you beyond excited about tomorrow or what?"

"Yeah, I am, but I'm also nervous. I'm not sure how well I'm going to sleep tonight. Alex has agreed to try and help me sleep if I can't fall asleep, but I feel bad waking him up to help me fall asleep and all." I sighed softly and moved onto my side. "Do you have to go? I'm guessing you guys are having a wild party and they're all gonna wanna know why you're not joining in."

I frowned, I hated that I couldn't share his graduation night with him, but it wasn't like I could just fly up to Vegas for the day and spend it with him and then fly back. I hated that I couldn't be there, but it was life, right? I mean, life requires you to make decisions, some between what you want to do and what you have to do, and I had to make the decision to go with what I had to do, for me and my future.

"You should join the party Bren. Its only once in your life you graduate high school. Just, don't get drunk or anything, okay? I don't want someone taking advantage of you while I'm not there to take care of you."

"Ha!" I smiled, "Someone take advantage of me? Who said I would let you take advantage of me anyway? You know if you were here right now we would be all over each other, but their would still be no advantage being taken, except that of my over advantage of you knowing I can be a cock tease..."

I shook my head, playing with Steve's remote on the bed, "Whoa, that was the most I have ever uesd the word advantage in my whole life. See! See what you do to me?" I couldn't hold back my laugh, "And the guys are just setting off fireworks in the backyard. Luckily Steve doesn't have many neighbors so we can cause the mischief all we want, that is until his dad comes out and yells at us cause he has to work in the morning."

Randomly pushing the channel buttons to type various phone numbers, I sighed again, "I miss you Baby...wait, that is the first time I have ever called you that? Is it ok?"

I chuckled to myself and nuzzled into the couch a little. "I never said I'd try to take advantage of you, just that I wouldn't want someone to take advantage of you and me not there to fight them off. And you are a major cock tease. But I kinda like it."

I smiled and then sighed softly. "I miss you too Bren. And yeah, thats the first time you've called me baby, and its okay, if thats what you want to call me. I really don't mind." I sighed again and held onto the pillow next to me. "I wish you were here Bren. I really do wish you were here."

Hearing the noise of fireworks in the background I smiled to myself again. It sounded like the guys were having fun, and there was Brendon, missing it. "You know Bren, the guys sound like they're having fun. You should probably go join them. Celebrate the night away and enjoy yourself. Just...light a firework for me and pretend that I'm standing there with you?"

I sniffed, "Fuck that shit, fireworks can wait, I want to talk to you..." It was true, hell, we bought like three cases, and two of them were in my car, with my keys in my pocket, so they can't do them all without me, "If you have the time and chance to call me, I am going to savor that. I know once you get into the meat of it, that you will be busy, plus, I want to wish you luck, and most of all I want to hear your voice..."

I rolled onto my stomach, laying down, "I wish I was there too. I would have never thought a month ago that I would be saying those words to anyone and now here I am. It's crazy, but the best kind of crazy I could ever ask for," smiling, "So, what are you wearing?" I giggled, hoping he knew I was joking.

Looking down at my shirt, "I have this sexy black shirt on that buttons up and these hot! hot! pants that someone suggested I got...wonder who that could be..."

Alex came out of the bathroom wearing only his boxers, and came down to sit next to me. He knew how hard it was being on me to be away from Brendon and he was doing everything he could to be there for me. He ran his fingers through my hair and I smiled up at him a little.

"Brendon, I don't want you to regret missing this party because you're on the phone all night. But I do love talking to you and hearing your voice. But I can call you again. And yeah, I'll get busy and then I won't have as much time probably, but I'll always have some time for you. Once I know my schedule I'll have to make phone dates with you so you have them to look forward to."

Alex murmured softly. "I'm going to go to bed Ry. Don't be up too late on the phone, you need your sleep. I'll leave a light on for you, okay?" I nodded up at him before he pressed a kiss to my forehead and then leaned down to speak into the phone. "Don't let him stay up too late Bren, he hasn't been sleeping well and he needs to. Have fun, and congrats on your graduation."

I smiled at him as he got up and walked toward his bedroom, and I could see that he'd left a light on in his room in case I wanted to join him. I turned my attention back to the phone. "I'm wearing pajamas...but I wish I could see you."

"Thanks Alex..." I grinned. He was growing on me. Very much so, hell after that other night, how could he not? And in the dressing room...and other things too.

"And Ryan, there are plenty more parties where this came from, I think I have a couple every weekend until mine. Oh!" I rolled on my back, bending my knees, looking at the...glow in the dark stars on the ceiling...yeah, he's one of us... "This girl wants us to play at her party, it isn't even an eight of what the other girl paid, but money is money,?"

Letting out a yawn, "How am I going to perform without the little subliminal messages to you? They help me go on, like when we covered 'Let's Get It On', it was classic, but I was only able to do it cause I kept eye contact with you the whole time," smiling at the thought, I remembered his pajamas, "Which pajamas are you wearing? And I know you don't have any underwear on under those..."

Laughing softly I shook my head a little. "I'm in like, black pajama pants and a white beater. And no, nothing under the pajama pants, as normal." I got up and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"You guys should definitely do the show. And you'll do just fine without me there. I'll be there in spirit, and if you want, call me and leave the phone on the stage or something so I'll be listening too. And just pretend I'm there. Cuz you know I really kinda am at heart. But I do wish I could be there. I love watching you on stage and everything Bren. You know that."

I drank some of the water before putting the glass into the sink. "I'll try to be there for at least one of your shows you do this summer. I can't promise, but I'll certainly try. Just for you. I want to be there for at least one of your shows. But I won't know a better schedule for myself until hopefully tomorrow. Then maybe we can start planning my first visit."

"That sounds like a good plan, as long as you are all squared away and stuff first of course. OH!" I stood up on the bed, "How cool would it be if you were able to make some connections, and say some opening act for like My Chem or Fall Out cancels or got the mumps..." Mumps? What the hell, this no school thing has had me watching too much Leave it to Beaver...but I always through Wally was hot, "Or something, and you were like, 'I have a band who can over for you,' with plenty of warning of course, and then you call us and we drive out with our stuff and we actually play in LA...that would be AWESOME!"

I jumped up and down, and slapped my hand to my leg, since I couldn't clap from the phone, "Ok, I'll stop dreaming now, but it would be cool." Jumping off the bed, I headed out Steve's room to see what the guys were doing now. The fireworks had ceased, and my luck, they were picking the lock of my trunk to get it open.

Making my way down the steps, "I can't wait to plan your first visit, or mine for that matter, I know I can't do anything for three weeks, so after that hopefully!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Brendon had a very active imagination, which was a very good thing, but it was taking him a little further than he probably should be hoping and thinking. I didn't know how likely it would be that I'd be asked if I knew of a band that could fill in for someone. Although I did intend on keeping my eyes and ears open. What kind of a manager would I be if I didn't?

"You're right Bren, that would be awesome. Not exactly likely, but very awesome. I'm definitely going to keep my eyes and ears open though for any chance I might have of getting your name out there and all. I'm hoping that something'll be able to work out. I'm gonna talk to a couple of the band managers we come in contact with, providing we do of course, and see what suggestions they have for me. And then there's always seducing Pete into listening to your CD."

Smiling, I went to the windows and looked out over the city, resting a little against the glass. "I wish it weren't three weeks away before I get to see you. But we'll work something out. I'm not too worried. Just missing you."

I made it outside, and in fact, they were trying to break into my car, "Goddammit..." I let out, "Here!" I tossed them the keys, "Just save some for me, hell I paid for over half of them..."

I shook my head, talking back to the phone, "I wasn't talking like a whole tour, just one show, hell, we could never just drop what we have going here..." I looked up just in time as Spence came running towards em with a Sparkler. Screaming, I ran inside and locked the door to glance up and see Steve parent's and younger sister staring at me. I smiled and peaked out the window, seeing Spence over with eh rest of the guys, and waved at them before slipping back out their door.

"Sorry bout that..." I muttered, "And yeah, three weeks is a long time, but think about how amazing ti will be in those three weeks when we do get to see each other? We'll enjoy it even more than if we saw each other sooner, or am I just pep talking myself?"

"You know what I miss the most?" I didn't allow him enough time to answer as I curled up on the porch swing, "The way your hair falls on my face and tickles me when you are on top of me, kissing me..."

Closing my eyes, I rested my face against the glass window. It was cool, not cold, but cool all the same, and it sent chills through me. To be told that was what he missed most, it was such a small thing, such a tiny thing, but I remember people saying that it was the small things that count, and I had to give them the fact that they were right. I stood where I was, silent for a little while, I just didn't trust my voice or myself to say anything and just let everything seep into me. I wanted him to be with me, and we'd only been apart a couple days, it was already far too hard for my liking and I had to squeeze my eyes shut, I wouldn't cry.

"You're too amazing Bren, you know that? Far, far too amazing. I just...I don't know how I'm going to go this whole summer without having you here where I can touch and hold and...and brush your hair back and feel the softness of your lips. I just...god, Bren...If this weren't so important to me and my future, I'd be back there right now..."

I shook my head and looked at the city. I knew I was going to cry. I couldn't, I didn't want to let myself, but I wasn't going to be able to help it shortly. But I didn't want Brendon to hear me. I didn't want to make it harder for him as it was already so hard for me. I forced myself to hold back the emotions for the moment.

"But hey, I'm going to rub elbows with people that'll kickstart my carrerr as well as yours. So thats what I'm going to focus on. By the time I leave here at the end of the summer, I'm going to have Pete Wentz in my pocket and eating out of my hand trying to sign you guys!"

Blushing, "Why is it that even when you are miles away, you still seem to get my cheeks all rosy? And me all hot an flustered? Wow, look at me, I am swallowing my pride and telling you how I really feel..." I laughed, "And you too are amazing, and will be just as amazing, if not even more amazing when you come back from LA. I wish I was in your arms as much as you do, I would say more, but I don't want to get all argumentative even though it would be a good one of who misses the other more, but still."

"And as long as you keep Pete just in your pocket and not in your pants, all will be well...We don't need to have that discussion again do we?" I tried to fake mock his father's voice on the way to the airport, "But even so, I am excited that you will be rubbing elbows, and if not more than excited, I am jealous, not of you so much, but of the people who will get to see you everyday. See that smile, and that hair, and those skinny arms, and sexy hips...and hear that cute laugh and strong voice... Damn I miss you so much it hurts sometimes," I held my chest. It did hurt, I wasn't making this up!

Squeezing my eyes closed I took a shakey breath. "Bren..." I glanced at the clock, it was getting late and I needed to go to bed. I needed even more to cry my eyes out and then go to bed, but I couldn't do that with him on the phone. No, I wouldn't do that with him on the phone.

"I plan on getting Pete into my pocket...not necessarily my pants pocket, but my pocket. And it won't be too long before we see eachother again, okay?" I could feel my voice shaking a little, but I hoped he wouldn't notice or at least figure out that I was about to go bust out crying. "We'll have an amazing time once you can get here. By then I'll know enough about the city to show you around."

I ran my fingers down the glass before reaching them up to rub at my eyes a little. "I miss you Bren, I do, but I need to get going. Its getting late and I do have to make sure I sleep tonight. And you have a party to get back to and friends to hang out with. I'd rather the band not resent me for taking you away from the fun and using up your time. So really...I should get going...I should go to bed...." And in my head I was thinking that I should cry myself to sleep.

I could hear it. I could hear it in his voice. I hope he was just homesick. Is it bad that I am not this shaken up over it? I mean, I miss him, but. Shit! I'm a horrible boyfriend cause I haven't cried but twice over him. And now, he is on the verge of it...

Gulping, "Yeah, I have a party to get to, but just remember Ry, you come first in my life now. Way ahead of all of them, so even if I act like I am busy, or it sounds like I am, or cause I get distracted, realize that I will stop everything for you, Ok? Everything Ryan. You mean so much to me that I can walk away from all of that and just talk to you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

I made my way around the house from the noise the guys were causing, "and I can't wait to see you. Whether we leave your apartment or not, it doesn't matter, all that matters is that it will be the two of us again. You and I. And I know it is prolly hard right now, but I know in less than two days, you will be so busy that you will have to make time to talk to me, and that is what I want. I want you to be busy like me so that you experience things and do your 110% and not worry about me, cause as long as you are succeeding out there, I will be happy. And yeah," I glanced at the time, "I should go to, so sleep and wake up refreshed and have a blast! I know you will!"

I smiled softly and closed my eyes again. He could tell I was upset, that was why he was rambling. He was so adorable, and so far away. "You don't have to try to convince me so much Bren. I know. Really, I do. Just...you have fun tonight at the party and I'll call you once we know what our scheule is and everything and we can set up phone dates and all."

I felt arms slip around me and I leaned back against Alex. How did he know when I needed a hug? He must be psychic. "Have fun at the party and say hi to the guys for us. Okay?" I turned toward Alex and burried my face into his neck, leaving only my mouth and ear so that I could still talk to Brendon. "Don't party too much, but have fun, party like I'm with you, but no curling up with anyone but Spencer."

Alex hugged me tighter and then smoothly picked me up to carry me to his room. Strangly his bed was bigger than mine, which mean that his was the one he'd comfort me in. "You guys also don't forget to practice. Or me and Alex will have to beat you senseless."

I laughed, "Ok, ok," I could tell he was trying to be strong, that's my Ryan right there! The strong one, well, maybe not physically, I could probably kick his ass, but still.

"And I will have fun, and I will imagine you here, and I will tell the guys that you said hello, and I will not even curl up with Spencer, so no worries there. I have found my pillows to be overly comfortable lately, actually..."

Walking over to the guys, Spencer yelled, "Damn, you still on the phone? You're gonna get cancer from that damn thing, then what will our manager say? Huh?"

Shaking my head, "He'll blame you, oh, and Ry and Alex said hello, and if we don't practice they will try to beat us senseless... Wanna say hi?" I asked the guys as I held out the phone. They all screamed 'Hi' in unison, as I turned back around for any form of privacy I could manage.

"Ok, Ryan, have a good night, and best of luck tomorrow. Break a couple legs!" I giggled, "I miss you, and never hesitate to call, and I won't either. Night!"

Alex laid me down into his bed and crawled in next to me, covering us up and resting his head on his pillow as he let me finish my conversation. I turned to him and smiled, murmuring, "All the guys say hi, they're all at a party and being crazy and they say hi. And Bren doesn't think we could beat them senseless if they don't practice. But I think you could beat up all of them."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I could definitely take them. But not right now, I'm too tired."

I nodded and nestled in closer to him, letting him hug me as I did so. "'Lex says he can take you, but not right now cuz he's too tired. And me too. And thanks Bren. Have fun and I'll talk to you in a few days. Night."

Laughing again, this time at Alex, I rolled my eyes, "Tell Alex to keep dreaming, knows Spence could and would take him in more ways than one," I looked back at the guys as the were thumb wrestling over who they shot the explosives at. Wouldn't rock, paper, scissors be easier? And quicker?

"Ok, well, Steve has Spence in a headlock cause he beat him in thumb wars, so that is my cue to go. I'll talk to you soon, have a goodnight, yet again, and I can't wait to hear how your job is going! I want details! And you know, you can always email. Oh, or a webcam..that could be interesting." I smiled at the thought as now it seemed to be my turn to get shot at. One flew in front of me as I screamed again, "RYAN I GOTTA GO! THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT!"

"Hugs and Kisses and Wishes and all...ok! BYE!" I hung up running as fast as I could towards me car, which happened to be locked to I ran into Spencer's and slammed the door. Locking it, I looked back at them and stuck out my tongue knowing that they wouldn't hurt his car.

I smiled to myself and hung up the phone. Alex took it from me and put it on his bedside table before pulling me closer. "I know you're upset Ry...but, don't they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? This'll show you guys if you're mean to be or not."

I nodded a little and felt myself starting to cry. "I just wish it wasn't so hard 'Lex."

He held me tightly and rocked me a little against him, murmuring that he knew but that it would get easier the busier I got. I let him calm me as I couldn't stop the tears floating down my cheeks, and I was sure when they slipped off my skin they splashed onto his. He moved his hand up into my hair and played with the strands. Still crying I fell asleep under his soothing touch.