Youbrat's Writing Archive (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mmm___pete) wrote,@ 2007-07-19 21:01:00 |
|
| Current mood: |  blank |
This Is Bullshit (42/?)
Title: This is Bullshit (42/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: R/E
Summary: A little bit of pillow talk
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon and Spencer, youbrat is Ryan and Alex. Ryan's pov is blue, Alex's is red, Spencer's is green and Bren's is black.
There was calmness to waking up in Alex's arms. Yes, I, Spencer Smith, fell asleep in the arms of another man. Luckily for us, as soon as we got back to the apartment Brendon went straight to Ryan’s room and snuggled up in all of his sheets and blankets. He was breathing deep when I went to check on him. I figured he was either sleeping or, most likely, just taking in Ryan's scent--not that it was a bad thing. We planned on letting Brendon sleep, and waking him as soon as we were ready to go, giving him as much rest as possible.
But there I was right now, in Alex's arms. It didn't happen on purpose, it just, well, kind of happened. Not that I was complaining or anything. As I mentioned earlier, it was nice. Speaking of smelling good, Alex smelled the best. I remembered that about him, actually. One time when I was walking to Geography class, it was about 1:35 in the afternoon and he walked past me with Ryan going down the English hall. I stood there taking in the scent as they moved by. I would have stayed there forever, but some kid pushed me to move, so I didn’t have the chance to linger.
It was weird He had the same scent, but different cologne. Like, underneath or something, he still smelled the same, which really did make sense, but confused me none the less. Either way, I lay here now, breathing in his scent, my fingers tracing over the pocket of his jeans just below his hipbone. Up and down and over and back...
I woke up to the feeling of fingers being traced along my hip and sighed softly as I opened my eyes. I could see the clock and saw that we'd been asleep for a couple of hours. I felt a little bit better, but at the same time, not. While Spencer had been in the shower, I'd called the guys and let them know about Ryan's status at the hospital. They all told me they were going to go by around dinner to see him and I was sure that Ry would really like that.
"Hey..." I turned my head slightly to look over at Spencer. I smiled softly and lifted one of my hands up to rub at my eyes a little. It felt good waking up with someone in my bed, but then again, I almost always did when it was just me and Ry because he'd sleep in my bed so he wouldn't be alone and I wouldn't either. But still, there was something different about waking up with Spence in my bed and in my arms.
"Sleep well?" I shifted slightly so that I could look at him more. I let my eyes slide closed again, just enjoying being lazy for the time being. We'd have to get up and get ready in a little while, that I knew, but for that moment we could be lazy and I could enjoy it. And I was enjoying it, but I wasn't going to admit that right away because I still wanted to keep the 'tough cocky guy' image that I tried to maintain.
I groaned lightly, looking up at him and nodding. There was a bit of shyness or, I couldn't really put my finger on it, openness; I didn't really know. Either way, from this morning with Alex to now, seeing him as he just woke up…Oh! That was it: a bit of vulnerability. I saw it in his features as if not very many people saw him like this—so open and young maybe naive looking, in a way. I liked it!
Biting my lip, I looked up at him, "I'm not sure, um," I coughed as my fingers continued rubbing him, "You know, if this is a good time or anything, but I know we have to get up and go soon. And once Bren is up, and we are at the hospital, well," I glanced across his chest, "We’ll be going back to Vegas, and you and I won’t really have any time alone, but um…" I knew where I wanted to go with this, but I didn't really know how to say it. I wanted him to know I was open to hanging out with him but that I didn't really want a relationship. I mean, Ryan and Bren had a relationship and they needed one. But me? I didn't really. I was good to go with having fun and, well, making out.
Yeah, so, here it went... "What I am trying to ask is: where are we? You know, you and me? I mean, over the past few weeks there seems to be something here, you know, between us. Not so much like we are crushing on one another, but would I be off by saying sexual tension almost? I may be completely off here, and you can tell me right now, but it seems like there is something. And, well, I kind of like it. I am not looking to ask you out or be exclusive or anything like that, but um, you know, if you happened to be in Vegas, or I happened to be in LA, then, I wouldn't mind if we happened to meet up, and maybe wake up in the same bed together. Or if we, uh, made out every once in a while, or blew each other..." I let that last part slip before I even knew it. I felt the blush and heat spread across my cheeks and neck then down to my chest, "I mean, I'll be quiet and stop before I dig myself even deeper," I bit my lip, not being able to make eye contact, but more so, wanting to slide off the bed and disappear.
I chuckled softly and reached up, tilting Spence's face up so I could look into his eyes. "Wow...that was a mouthful Spence and a lot to think about after waking up..." I let my fingers slip down over his throat and down onto his chest as I just thought about his words for a few moments. I looked back up at him and murmured softly, "So you just want a fuck buddy? Someone to fuck around with?, No commitment, no strings attached?"
I smirked slightly as I looked at his face and chuckled softly. "Why Spencer, I never thought of you as the type. I always thought of you as someone who would want the perfect relationship that would lead to a white picket fence, two point five kids, a dog, and the most ideal job ever. I never thought you'd be a little bit of a slut yourself." I winked at him and laid my head back down on the pillow, keeping my fingers just gently touching him, not really paying attention where my fingers were.
"But honestly though, is that what you want? Or, are you saying that because you think that’s what I want to hear you say? Because I want to know what you really want and I don't want you to just say you want what you think that I'll want you to want...fuck, I'm confusing myself. I hope I'm not confusing you too much." I chuckled softly. "But seriously...if all you want is a fuck buddy to fool around with...maybe teach you a few of the ropes of being with a guy...I wouldn’t be against it if that’s what you really wanted."
THAT WAS WHAT I REALLY WANTED! All of those things...I wanted a fuck buddy, but I also wanted a perfect relationship, a picket fence, two point five kids and a dog...but I knew that was something that I couldn't have with Alex or any guy for that matter. Not that I didn't think it was possible or that I was giving up on what I wanted or believed, I knew where I stood on homosexual relationships and gay marriages, but really, call me selfish, I really just wanted a good fuck.
I sounded like an asshole in my head. I just hoped I didn't come across as one. I guessed there was only one way to find out. "No, you’re fine," I smiled up at him, tracing my finger around his belly button and tickling his light happy trail "I understand what you mean and what you are saying, and Alex, I do want all of those things. But, I’ve wanted this more, and longer if that is possible...I mean," Ok, now probably isn't the time to bring up my sexy man crush on him...
"But," I changed the subject, "Is it bad that I do just want a fuck buddy? I mean, can't I have that? Can’t we have that? I mean, I want fun and spontaneity. I like relationships and all, but really, I've seen Ryden's and well, they have more drama than a season of The Real World, and I don't want that right now. I want something easy and guilt free. I want to have fun, and like you said, learn...and, well, you seem like the prime candidate for the job, I mean, that is if you are into it too..."
I chuckled softly and nodded. "They do have drama, that’s true, but, any good relationship worth having has its own drama. Maybe not to the extent that they have, but they've also got a lot going on in the middle of it. They have the fact that Ryan's here and Brendon isn't. They have all the guys Ry and I have been around and hanging out with while Brendon's been at home." I laid back onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. "It isn't like the guys we're with, be it the other interns or the bands we're working with or the people we meet at events aren't into us. We've both had our fair share of flirting. It’s different from being in Vegas..."
I trailed off and turned to look at Spencer. "Not that any of that is really an explanation for why they have drama. They just do. Ry can be dramatic and I get the impression that Brendon can be as well. But they do love each other..." I bit my lip and just looked at him before murmuring. "Fuck buddies don't usually come with love. They also don't usually come with drama, unless one half gets more attached to the other half and wants more than a fuck buddy relationship. I've had fuck buddies before. Ry was the best of them. All the rest of them have brought too much drama to my life because they've all wanted more from me than I wanted to give them. I've also had relationships. If you want love, Spence, you shouldn't start by having a fuck buddy. But..."
I smiled softly at him and reached up to brush the hair from his forehead. "If you want a fuck buddy and you don't want anything else...I think I can do that for you."
I nodded as he talked, only because I did agree with all that he was saying. Basically, the bottom line I got out of it was that it was now or never and I had to decide. Did I want just a fuck buddy with Alex or did I want something more? I was still leaning towards a fuck buddy. I liked Alex and all, but, I'll be honest, I still liked girls too. I wasn't about to go on having a boyfriend and having that
Ok, now I really did sound like a heartless bastard. But then again, I am a guy, and we all are..aren’t we? So, I really didn't see the problem with it. As long as we both knew from the get go where this started and was headed, or well, not headed, I thought it was a successful friends with benefits.
Plus, I wanted to know how those piercing felt on other parts of my body.
I bit my lip, looking at him, "Alex, I want a fuck buddy and nothing else. I am young and horny, and really, the last thing I need between work, the band, a new school, and moving into a dorm is a relationship. I just want something to look forward to, I guess, or something that has a sense of stability and something that when I am lonely and horny and depressed, I can get a good fuck and move on," once I said it I cringed a little, "I mean, not that, you know, that is all this would be, because we are friends first and foremost, but you know as much as me that sometimes the only remedy is a good fuck...and well, all the signs point to you as the best one!" I winked at him as dipped my finger into his belly button.
I nodded a little and closed my eyes. "Yeah, well, I guess a lot of people see that as what I'm best for: A nice little fuck, no strings attached." I sat up and ran my hand through my hair as I looked over to see what time it was. I sighed again and rested my head on my knees. It kinda hurt that someone who had become something important to me still only wanted me as “just a fuck”. Just a fuck on the side. No feelings behind it. It had been a long time since I'd been in a relationship with feelings. I was actually starting to get jealous of Ry's relationship with Brendon, even with all their drama.
All Spencer wanted was a fuck buddy and nothing else when, for me, I was starting to think that I wanted more than just random fucks and fuck buddies. I wasn't exactly 'getting old' but I was getting to the point where I hadn't had a relationship in years…or at least any relationship that was longer than a couple days of hot sex. I loved sex and I always would, but I was seriously starting to miss the love. I got some love from Ryan, but I had to keep it friendship because he had love with Brendon, which meant I couldn't really have the love I was starting to crave from him.
Okay, so maybe Spencer wasn't the one to look to for love. Maybe I should have looked elsewhere. I nodded a little. "Okay, I can teach you the ropes of sex with guys. I can do that for you. Just..." I sighted softly and opened my eyes, turning to look at him. "If we're just fuck buddies, you won't be upset if I tell you it's over because I found someone, right?"
What?
I was extremely confused. Wasn't that what he was? I mean, from the day I actually started talking to him, that was what he was all about. And now? Now he was getting all spacey and fidgety and emo-like over me wanting to be his fuck buddy. Dammit, that was what I thought he wanted. This was bullshit! I was so confused. And now, now I was repeating myself I hated that.
So, was he or was he not just a fuck buddy guy? I mean, he talked about it all the time. Ryan and Bren even mentioned things about it. Hell, now I wanted to sit there with my head between my knees. But no, if I did that, then we would turn into Ryden from the get-go. I didn't want that. I wanted far from that. Ok, so maybe not Alex as ‘just a fuck buddy’, but...dammit, that's what I thought he wanted...
I bit my lip yet again, looking over at him. "But," I ran my hand down his bare back, "That's, that's what you say all the time, Alex. I mean, you say you are a good fuck and that you are just looking for random guys in Vegas and LA and every place in between so…so, I just figured you were. And, I mean, if that was the only way I got to be closer to you, then, well, I would accept that. Hell, I already talked myself into it..." I sighed as I looked across the room, "I just..."
I turned back and looked at him. His hand on my spine felt amazing. "I know that’s all I've pretty much ever talked about. I love sex. I love having sex. I love the thought of having sex. I love talking about sex. I just love sex. I'm not ashamed of that at all and I never will be, but after watching love from so close you can almost touch it, sometimes it's hard not to want that, too." I shrugged a little.
"I don't really know. If you want a fuck buddy, I can give you that for now. I just don't know how long it'll last if I end up deciding I really do want love and actually look for it. Sometimes a fuck that’s just a fuck isn't the cure at all. Sometimes love is. And that’s something I haven't had, or wanted, for a long time. And then Ryan got it..." I shook my head and looked out my window, chewing on my lip a little.
It was true. I wanted love. Maybe not as much as I wanted sex, but I still found myself wanting to wake up next to someone and find love there. Love in his eyes. Love in the embrace. Just love. There was just that part of me that was overly jealous of Brendon and Ryan and what they had and the fact that when they had sex, there was love involved and it wasn't just fucking. I knew I should just say it. I looked back at him. "Sometimes I want to make love and not just fuck. The closest I have gotten to that is Ryan before he was with Brendon. Before him...God, I don't even remember."
Wow. That was a confession and a half. Honestly, I didn't know what to say in reply to that. I wasn't sure if that was what he was looking for in general, or if that is what he wanted from me, or if that was his way of brushing me off and telling me no. But, I mean, really, this morning...that had to be something more than just me being the closest human to him at the time. I told myself over and over today that that was all it was, but really, it had to be more. Right?
"Oh," I smirked, trying to make light of the situation, "So, has Alex gone all lovey-dovey on me?" I laughed, not trying to make fun of him but to lighten the situation. I knew what he meant though about love being so close. Hell, Brendon was my best friend, and this was the first relationship he’s ever had. It was a huge shock when he preferred to hang out with Ryan over me since it had always been just me and him. Well, besides when I was in a relationship, but still…
I could tell that Alex was confused, and I knew that I had to do something besides joke to get him back to Alex again. "So, if I were to tell you that I don't just want a fuck buddy from you, but that I only said that because that is what I thought you wanted to hear, and that I had already told myself and pushed all my feelings I had for you aside, then what would you say?" Yep, all or nothing...
I just looked at him. Okay, so maybe there was a part of me that had gone lovey-dovey. After all, I did have it in me I just never let anyone but Ryan know. He knew what I was capable of and he knew when I had someone who was that important to me that I could be the most loving person in the world. I could also be romantic if I wanted to be. It all depended if I was in a relationship or not. I did have it in me though.
"So you just were trying to tell me what you assumed I wanted to hear? It isn't what you really want? Even though I've already asked you if it was what you wanted and you said you wanted a fuck buddy and nothing else?" I frowned a little. "But what you really want is more than just a fuck buddy?"
I turned and lay down onto my stomach, looking at him with my head rested on my arms. "You shouldn't just say what you think I want to hear. I may be a sexually-centered asshole much of the time, but that doesn't mean that there isn't more that I want in life..." I bit my lip a little and thought for a moment before murmuring, "Feelings you had? Or feelings you have?"
I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn't want to be all feelings and whatnot. I just wanted to be with Alex. I wanted to hold him and touch him and lick him and kiss him and bite him and be with him and for him to do all those things for me. I sat there and told myself over and over again that that was what he wanted, too. God dammit, I was so confused.
He didn't answer my question. He didn't tell me what he thought. He was trying to get it out of me, so as he wouldn't have to tell me his feelings for me. Or was he? Was I just reading into this too much? Great, now who was going all emo?
Reaching over, I ran my fingers down his back, along his spine, and across each curve and muscle. "Ok, I told you what you wanted to hear, and yes, it probably would have backfired eventually, but, Alex," I stopped my hands on his back, "I just wanted to be near you. I wanted you to be in my life and not just when Ryan and Bren are around. I’d like it if you called me on the phone just to say hey. I’d like it if I knew that you missed me when we were apart, like I did when I was away from you. I just, well, I guessed I told myself those things because I didn't think you would really give me the time of day in a relationship. I was letting myself down gently, in a way, before I even brought it up to you."
"Spence, it’s better to be honest with yourself and with me. I'm not always an asshole, and I wouldn't be one to you if you told me you wanted something that I didn't. You're more important to me than to just....be an ass to you just because..." I shrugged a little before pushing him onto his back and moving over him, resting one of my elbows either side of him and looking down at him. "Things aren't always what they seem though..."
With that, I dipped down and kissed him, letting my fingers slide up and into his hair as I let my body slowly fall onto his. I pulled back slightly and looked down at him. "Sometimes you can have the things you want if you just ask for them outright."
I grinned and then dipped my head down to kiss him again; this time a little harder, a little hungrier, and full of a lot more lust I didn't really want to go over the top, but I wanted to show him that I liked being with him and that I wanted to be right there with him right that second. Knowing that Ryan was awake and okay--and probably either with the guys or his family--made it okay for me to just want to be in bed like this and not feel like I had to worry about him.
I simply nodded as he kissed me, bringing my hands around to his waist, feeling his skin right above the denim of his jeans. Pressing my lips against his with as much force as he did to me, I groaned lightly as I felt him above me. See, this was what I wanted. I knew that 'talking' was important and all, but really, all I wanted or needed right now was his lips against mine. Now I was content. That was, until I thought about it on the drive home and over analyzed the conversation as it played on repeat in my head.
Nuzzling into the pillow to separate our lips, I gasped lightly as I looked up at him, pushing back his hair that was tickling my nose "Okay, well, we could start over," I faked yawned. "Wow that was a good nap," I smirked at him "How did you sleep?" I twisted my head "Oh, and I like you and was wondering if you liked me too..." I grinned as I reached up and pulled his lips onto mine again before giving him a chance to respond, verbally or physically.
Without any thought, my hands moved to his bum and pressed his body more into mine as I spread my legs. I was fully aware that nothing could or would go down right here, right now, especially since Brendon was in the other room, but that didn't mean that I couldn't get as close to Alex as physically possible with both of our waists still covered...
I groaned against his mouth as he pulled my hips down harder into his. I moved my hand down along his side, kissing him. My hips rolled against his, and I wished I hadn't slept in my jeans. I would have loved to have been naked in bed with him in that moment. I'd give him one of his real first lessons in being with a guy.
I pulled back from his lips when my fingers encountered the towel that was wrapped around his waist. I chuckled softly and looked back up at him. "Spence, why are you in a towel? I mean, okay, this morning yeah, but now?" I watched his face as I slipped my fingers in under the edge, loosening it slightly after lifting my hips up a little to give myself room too.
Still keeping my eyes on his, I let my hand slide down his thigh until my fingers reached the edge of the towel. I tugged his leg up slightly so that his foot would be flat on the bed and slowly inched my fingers back up his thigh, this time on the underside, underneath the towel. I knew we'd have to get back to the hospital, but at the same time, I had Spencer basically willing to give himself to me, and how I was supposed to think about getting out of bed and leaving the bedroom?
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back as he touched me. Fire. His hands and his body were like fire on mine. Usually I was afraid of fire Hell, my parents told me to never touch it or play with it, but this fire was contagious. Not only did it touch my skin; it shot through my entire body.
Towel? I was in a towel?
I opened my eyes and looked down. Indeed I was. Letting my head fall back, I stared at the ceiling as I thought about it. Why was I in a towel? "Oh, yeah," I nodded to myself as I looked at Alex, running my fingers along his arm. "I took a shower and didn't want to get back into my other clothes, and I didn't want to go through your closet either. Plus, you looked so cute and innocent," INNOCENT! That was the word I wanted to use before! Dammit, I hated when that happened. Either way, train of thought over there, me over here. I shook my head, "You looked so damn cute, I didn't want to disrupt you or wake you," I blushed, "So, I just crawled in with you..."
I grinned, moving into his hand and looking in his eyes. I didn't want him to stop touching me, hopefully my eyes were showing him that.
I chuckled softly and murmured, "I'm not sure I've ever really been innocent, Spence. I'm not even sure I was innocent when I was born..." I smiled and leaned down to kiss him softly before saying, "You should have just taken the towel off and crawled into bed without it. It would have been an added surprise when I woke up, finding you naked in my bed...a very nice surprise it would have been, too."
I winked at him and moved up onto my knees a little, one hand still resting on the back of his thigh. I wanted to take the towel completely off, but I wasn't sure how he'd feel about me doing that. I didn't know if he was wanted me to just take him and have him right then and there or if he wanted to build up to it, start slow. It was hard to start slow when you're already naked.
"So does this mean you have no clothes to wear?" I smirked a little and moved my other hand to his other leg, using my position to look at him laying there in my bed. It was definitely something I wanted to see a lot more often. "Do you really have to leave today, Spence? I mean, really? Can't you just say 'fuck it' to everything at home for a little while longer? You only just got here last night. To turn around and leave already...."
I blushed even deeper. I knew I could never just strip and lie in bed with him. I wasn't 100% comfortable in my own skin, but really, it was nice to have someone as sexy as Alex to look at me and not snicker or laugh. It made me smile actually. Really it did, but right now it was onto Spencer and Alex mode. Just the two of us, in the bed...now, that's what I was talking about!
"Well..." I ran my fingers along his ribcage. "If I were naked and slipped into bed with you, I wouldn't have gotten to see the pleasure on your face when you got to take it off me, now would I?" I smirked as I followed his arm down to where it sat behind my leg, then pulled it out in front of us to rest on the top of my towel. Grinning, I winked at him, "See, now you get to do the work, and I can be a 'good student’ and sit back and learn..."
And dammit, now I wanted to stay...Oh yes, I wanted to stay. Pass up the chance to sleep an entire night-- that wasn't outside and freezing-- in the same bed as Alex? Who could pass that up? "Alex, I would stay if I could, but.." I pouted my bottom lip out. "Well, now I don't want to go, but, I don’t know..." I sighed as I stared up at him. He was so fucking hot it hurt sometimes. Arching my waist lightly into his hand, I leaned up and took his lip ring in my mouth, pulling him down with me and slipping my tongue in as soon as I got the chance.
Groaning, I pressed down onto Spencer, sliding my hand further up on the back of his thigh. I kissed him deeply before slowly pulling back and looking down at him. I licked my lips and slipped my fingers around and up onto his hip. "Stay. I think you should. I really think that you should. You guys shouldn't go back so fast. I mean, it’s been barely a night, not even twenty-four hours. It’s way too soon for you to go back. Besides, I think you deserve a little vacation and Bren and Ry deserve some time to be together after the accident."
I kept my eyes on his as I moved my free hand to his other knee and slowly slid it up, letting my fingertips dip to the inside of his thigh. "Do we really want to pull those two apart only a few hours after Ry woke up? And if Bren is staying, you can't leave yet. Is there an actual reason for you two to go home? Or is it just because of your jobs and things? Because I thought I heard Bren say that all that was taken care of."
Tugging one of my rings into my mouth, I sucked on it softly as I continued to watch him. Basically all I was doing was touching him, but hopefully touching him in ways that he wasn't used to being touched. I wanted him to enjoy just being touched, and I wanted to see his facial expressions because that was half the fun of situations like this Of course, getting naked together would be a lot of fun, too, but that was the next step.
My eyes rolled back slightly as his fingers moved on me. No girl ever did that to me when I was with her. It was all about her. Making her feel comfortable. Making sure she was ok with it. Making her get turned on. Hell, I'll admit it, I liked the idea of being the 'girl' in the relationship and being pampered, touched, and taken care of. It was a change, but it was something I could accept very easily.
Answering his question was almost impossible so I nodded, hoping he got the general idea. Yes, we did need to go back to work, but I guess we could wait until Monday morning. Alex was right. Bren and Ryan did need time together, and we could tell his parents we weren’t ready to come back yet. Ryan didn't want us to leave or something. They like Ryan well enough that it would work.
"Ok," I breathed out, moving into his hand, "I'll ask Bren," I looked up through my lashes. "As long as… as long as you don't stop touching me anytime soon...ok?" I smirked lightly as I wiggled for him to touch me more. I probably looked like a little whore right there beneath him, but really, I could care less. His hands were on my body, his lip ring was in his mouth, and that was enough for me to moan right there. "And…and you kiss me again..."
I chuckled softly and murmured, "Oh, so if I touch you, and kiss you, you'll give in to anything that I want? That might be something I'll have to take advantage of later, because really, I think I can handle doing this to get something I want." I smirked a little and moved my body closer to him, letting my knees touch the insides of his thighs.
"So, Spencer..." I grinned and moved my hands a little to slide up onto his hips, starting to undo the towel. "Tell me, how long should we wait before we wake Brendon up and go back to the hospital? I mean, he is going to want to go back and be with Ryan, and I can't deny him his time with him. But how long should we let him sleep? And how distracted should we get from paying attention to the time?"
I tilted my head to the side and tugged on my lip ring, worrying it with my teeth as I looked down at him. I wanted to be out of my jeans so I could fell him against me. Jeans dampened all feeling that I really wanted in that moment, but I didn't want to really start something and realize we had to stop soon because of waking Brendon up and getting back to the hospital.
I gasped a little. Sure I had thought about Brendon, but I forgot that he could come in at any moment and see us; not that he would be traumatized, just very surprised. Psht, forget him. Ok, I so didn't mean that, but how could I resist this? I knew if the tables were turned that I would give him space...I thought...
Again, all I could do was nod. Well, and thrust, writhe, grind, and, oh yeah, breathe. Wait, I thought I was breathing. I was pretty sure I was breathing. Looking up at him, I sighed, “I dunno. He'll be okay. He needed sleep. We'll be fine, really. And yeah," I reached out to run my finger lightly down his bare chest, "You can take all sorts of advantage. I don't mind..." I grinned slightly.
"Ok, so maybe I lied more before when I said it wasn't like a crush or anything Well, I'm sure you don't remember me, but I was a grade behind you in school, and I had a crush on you. Ryan and I had a few classes together, but I never talked to you. More like, I ran away when you came around cause I got all nervous and sweating and I didn't want to make a fool of myself," I paused and blushed, "Yea, kind of like I am now..." I looked away, but still kept my fingers on him, it was almost magnetic, I couldn't let go...
I chuckled softly and shook my head, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips before pulling back again and looking down at him. "Well, I guess you’re lucky that you met me again in life, huh?" I grinned and finished undoing the towel. I pulled the towel away, exposing him completely and letting my eyes slide over his body, taking him in for a few moments before meeting his eyes.
"Oops! Look what I did!" Smirking, I leaned up onto my knees, bending over him and placing my hands on either side of his head. "Looks like you're not wearing anything anymore. It’s too bad I still am, huh?" Chuckling, I moved beside him so that I could slowly run my fingertips down and over his body. I let my fingertips drag along his skin, following the curves and dips of his body, enjoying what I could touch.
I smiled and kept my eyes on his as they reached down to his navel, then over and along his hips, purposefully avoiding certain hot spots on his body. It wasn't that I didn't want to touch him, it was more that I wanted to tease and torment him a little. I always loved having that bit of power of the person I was with. Just because it was Spencer didn't mean that I was going to change that at all.
I nodded in response, knowing if I was to open my mouth, that a moan would escape and wake the whole apartment building. I felt a little weird being completely exposed to him, but for some reason, all that feeling went away, and I was fine. I was strange about being naked at times, hell, there were mornings where I didn't even want to look at myself in the shower. And you would think that being with Alex, and his experience, that I would be more uncomfortable, but there was something about him that made me not. Something about him that calmed me like I had never felt before.
Leaning up to kiss him, I simply placed my lips on his as I arched my back up. His fingers were driving me insane, and I really just wished he would do something with them. And really, I wished that he was naked too and all against me, but I wasn't about to say that. Then I would moan like crazy and wake up Brendon. That would be interesting to explain.
"I think though," I managed to breath out against his lips, "That you need to get rid of these too," my hands slid down his chest as I crept one in the front of his jeans a few inches inside the fabric, and the other moved underneath his side down to his bum, my fingers slipping in to my knuckles, kneading the flesh, "You need some help with that?" I cocked my brow, still moving into his hands.
I bit my lip a little before smirking slightly. "Why Spencer...I never knew you were so fast." I winked and nodded a little. Moving again, I gave him access to my body while I hovered a little above him, the only sad thing about that position was that I couldn't touch him and slip my fingers over his skin while I waited for him to get me out of my jeans.
Dipping down, I kissed him deeply, passionately, hard. One of my hands slid under his head, gripping his hair almost in my fist as I continued to kiss him with a hunger that I hadn't realized that I had before right then. There was something about being with him that seemed to draw it out of me, I wondered why I hadn't ever realized it before when we'd been around each other. It wasn't such a big deal though since I'd finally found it, and I loved how it felt to have the hunger and passion to kiss and touch him.
I pulled my lips back from his and looked down at him before murmuring softly. "So, are you going to get to it and get them off of me? Or am I going to have to do it all myself? Because really, what fun is that for me?" I chuckled and dipped down to lick my tongue over his lips, stopping to nip and tug at his lip when I was done swiping it with my tongue.
I caught his tongue as it swiped over me. Taking it into my mouth, I sucked on the mass, nibbling to bring more into my mouth so I could get my lips around his tongue ring. Once the bar was inside, I pulled and tugged at it as I breathed heavily through my nose. The metal was hot against my tongue as I ran my teeth around it, I was sure you could hear the clinking of the metal to my enamel.
Not releasing his tongue, I moved my hand to his button and popped it open, lowering the zipper and running my hand along his waist and brushing his hipbone with my fingers. Reaching around to meet my other hand, still caressing his ass, both hands gripped a cheek and squeezed tightly I began to push his pants down, raking my fingers along his skin as I moved down the backs of his legs until I couldn't reach anymore.
I hadn't even noticed how hard I was until I released him from my mouth and gasped, looking down to see my progress on removing his pants. It was difficult from this angle, but effective none the less. I smiled lightly at my accomplishments and looked up at him, pecking his now red, swollen, wet lips, "Can you take it from there?" I winked as I stretched a little, inadvertently exposing myself even more to him.
I groaned when he stretched, watching his body move. It was something I always loved to watch, gorgeous men stretching languidly while fully naked. It was such a turn-on. I had to make myself pull back to kick off my jeans and toss them aside, even though all I really wanted was to be touching him as much as possible. I managed to get my jeans off and moved down his body, feeling my breath hitch as our skin slid over each other's.
"Fuck..." I looked down at him as I pressed my hips into his and slowly started to roll them. I licked my lips and leaned in, kissing him again as I pressed our bodies together. I put all my weight on one hand so I could use my other to touch his skin. I found, at least with Spencer, that touching him was very very important to me.
My hand slipped beneath his hip and around the back of his ass, letting my fingertips slip between the cheeks, sliding them all the way down, knowing that I was the first one to ever touch him like I this. I hoped that he wouldn't be scared of it because I loved letting my fingers explore the parts of a man's body that no one ever got to see.
My head fell back as I let out a long breath, realizing that I had forgotten to breathe. Okay, so maybe I had seen that part of him before, but not hard and sexy and naked and sweet mother... I would like to go down in history stating that Alex was indeed the sexiest man alive. He was pure sex. He looked of sex. He smelled of sex. And he was my sex. Or at least he could be...
Spreading my legs wider, I opened myself to him and the new sensations I was feeling. I wasn't sure of what I was doing, but I knew that millions of people had done it before so I could, too. And plus, I trusted Alex. I knew for sure that if I was to say no, he would stop. That made this situation all the more free and enjoyable. But, I also knew for sure that I didn't want to stop anytime soon.
Knowing that the best way to learn was to do as I was taught, I copied his movements on his body. Everything he did, I mimicked. I would do everything he did unless he told me to stop. I was fully aware that if we were to have sex, that I would be receiving, so there was really no point to touch him or stretch him. If that was what he wanted, then that was what I would do, but basically, I was going to sit back and follow his lead.
I moaned as his body moved and rolled against me. There was wetness between our legs to guide the movement. I wasn't sure if it was sweat, his pre-come, my pre-come, a mixture of the two, or all of the above, but either way, it only made me hornier, harder, and wanting more. Removing a hand from his body, I reached for his neck and pulled his lips to mine, meeting him in an open mouthed kiss.
I kissed Spencer back, seeking out his tongue and tugging on it a little before I pulled back to catch my breath. Keeping my eyes on his, I thrust my hips down against him a few times, enjoying his facial expressions I threw in a random roll or two before smirking to myself and pulling back slightly so that I was looking up at him.
I dipped my head down, nipping and kissing along his jaw and down his neck. Moving my fingers, I slid my hand up his body, running my fingertips over his ribs, making sure to caress each one as my hand continued moving toward his neck. I ran my tongue along his collarbone, pausing at the center of his chest, kissing and nipping at the sternum.
Glancing up, I looked at him and smirked, sliding my hand up along the side of his neck until my thumb could run down along his jaw. Keeping my eyes on his face, I started slowly dragging my tongue down the center of his chest as I moved down his body. Stopping when I could dip my tongue into his navel, I leaned up and murmured, "Mmm...your skin tastes good, Spence. I wonder if the rest of you tastes as good...or better."
I chuckled softly and ran my fingers over his lips while I used my other hand caress his skin. I was enjoying the fact that I had his entire body open for me to touch, but I had plans for him I was just taking my teasing time getting to them.
I turned to jello in his hands. Okay, maybe built, muscular, boney, and ripped jello...yeah, who was I kidding, I was completely jello or putty or some other substance that I couldn't name at the moment, because, well, Alex was right there, doing that. What was he doing? Everything my little heart and mind imagined for the past few years. And more.
I thrust into him, which, well, happened to be his neck, causing me to blush slightly. His mouth felt amazing on me and I too wondered how those other places tasted. Ok, not tasted, but felt with his tongue on me. "Only," I moved my head to bring his finger in my mouth, "Only one way to find out" I smirked as seductivly as I could. It wasn't a good look on me, really. I knew because I practiced in the mirror, but I couldn't blame me for trying.
"But first," I nibbled on his finger as I thought about what I was going to say, "I want your lips on mine before I allow them to take advantage of my body in any way you want," I gulped as I looked down at him, "Any way, Alex, I trust you. Teach me and show me what it's like to be with you. Show me what the hype is about..." I knew for sure I was blushing now. I sounded like a damn slash story I read. I just hoped I didn't sound corny.
I smirked a little while and murmured back to him, "Oh, don't worry, I'll show you what Ry's been talking about." I moved up a little so I could look into his eyes. "And any way I want it? Any way I want you? Well...there are lots of ways I could think of having you right you're just gonna have to be patient."
I chuckled and leaned down, kissing him deeply and passionately but pulled back before he had the chance to get into it too much. I winked at him and licked my lips as I pulled my hand away from his face and brought my finger up to my own mouth, tilting my head to the side as I regarded him and settled down between his legs again. I watched him as I let my other hand slowly start to rub over his stomach.
I was trying to decide exactly what I wanted to do with him first, because as far as I was concerned there was a large number of possibilities. I'd go from one to the next with him until we were sure to have hit every single experience. Smirking, I finally decided what I wanted to do first and slid my hands down onto his hips before slipping them down between his thighs, following the lines of his body. I slid one hand up the back of one of his thighs, lifting it a little as I slid my body down between his legs, leaning over and kissing along his hip to his thigh and down to the soft skin on the inside.
That kiss was not good enough. Not good enough at all. It was the lamest of kisses that I had ever had. I wanted to pout, but I knew Alex was in control so it would have gotten me nowhere. Instead, I just waited patiently, in hopes that he would do something to repay me for it. I knew he knew I wanted more, and this whole teasing thing, as much as it turned me on, was pissing me off. Hell, he teased me since he talked to me in the studio for the first time so that shit had to go. It was game time.
I took in a deep breath as I watched him sink between my legs. I was thinking more of the whole fingering thing. Or, maybe I was going to get a blowjob. Which, that I wouldn't mind, actually, I read somewhere that with his piercing, it would be amazing. With the way his lips were headed, I wasn't sure. I thought blowjobs started from the lips and down the body, Alex was doing the opposite, which only meant...
Oh....
I read about that somewhere, too. I found out that it was amazing. The whole tongue and mouth and... I bit my lip as I looked down at him. "Alex," I whispered, "Do, do you rim?" I blushed immediately. The redness started in my cheeks, went to my hair line, back down my neck, to my chest, across my stomach, down my legs, past his lips, and straight to my cock.
I smirked a little against the inside of his thigh before looking up at him and tilting my head slightly, letting my hair slip onto his skin. "Maybe I do...sometimes at least...you know, I think I'd prefer this color on you if it was caused by me rather than by blushing." I chuckled and nipped a little harshly on the skin beside my face.
Sliding further down on the bed, I dragged my tongue along his thigh, up to where it joined his body before pulling away and smiling up at him. I gave him only a moment before I grabbed the cylinder throw pillow from my side of the bed and quickly maneuvered it under his hips. I wanted to start a little slow and then drive him crazy because I felt like that was the most fun thing to do to someone new to sex with men.
I grinned to myself and pushed his leg up a little more. I looked up at him as I kissed the tip of his cock and then slowly dragged my tongue down over him, teasing him because I had other destinations in mind for my mouth. I slowly brought my lips down, pausing to kiss over every bit of skin I came into contact with before finally finding myself right where I wanted to be. I slid my tongue out and against him again, slowly licking my way around the puckered muscle, lapping at it for a few moments before purposefully pushing my tongue against it and plunging it inside his body.
I moaned as I pressed my lower body into him. Fuck if he wasn't driving me insane. That red blush that lined my body was now painted permanently on it... Until I realized that was because I had yet to breathe. Letting out a deep breath, I enjoyed his mouth as I reached for the back of my thighs and brought my knees to my chest giving him more room and hopefully the go ahead to stop teasing.
"Fuck...Lex..." I let out as I looked down at him. For once in my life, I was glad I played the drums and not the bass or something. I knew that drumming built my midsection and arms, so I had the strength to pull my legs back and look down at the same time. I felt my body shudder as I watched him, but even more so felt him. And I knew he heard me Hell, I was probably waking the whole neighborhood.
I wasn't sure which turned me on the most: The fact that I was so free and open with him, practically showing all of myself to him. The fact that he had his tongue around and nearly in my body. The fact that I was thrusting up lightly into him. Or the fact that he had yet to break eye contact with me. Wait, I knew it was the last one. It was so fucking hot. Just the view of his eyes and his head moving slightly, every once in a while his nose and upper lip.
And oh......that piercing. This time my chest arched up violently as I held my breath again, my knees pressed hard against my rib cage. I knew I needed to breathe, I just couldn't.
I pulled my tongue back from his body and leaned up onto my elbows a little, looking up over his body to his face and grinning. "You need to relax a little Spence. Take a few deep breaths for me. I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise. Okay, so I may hurt you a little, but I promise you'll love it all the same. I promise you'll love just about anything..." I trailed off and grinned. "Do you like bondage?"
Laughing softly, I winked at him before moving my hand up to slide along the curve of his ass and down the back of his thigh. I kept my eyes on his as I brought it back down the inside of his thigh and across, letting my hand brush his cock before repeating the action on his other leg. I touched him lightly. Softly. Almost ghostlike.
After watching him for a few minutes, making sure that he was breathing and being relaxed enough for me, I leaned back down and repeated my actions with slight variation. I pressed my tongue against him and slowly lapped at his body. I waited until he got comfortable with that before plunging my tongue, without warning, as far into his body as I could get it. At the same time, my hand gripped onto his cock and started moving in time with my tongue's movements inside of him.
I managed to maintain my breathing with Alex's help. It wasn't that I was afraid he would hurt me, it was just that I forgot to breathe. I felt if I took a breath, I would miss something, and I didn't want that. Fuck, enough with the thinking. I needed to clear my head and focus, number one on breathing, number two on the sensations, and number three on his eyes… in no particular order.
Once his tongue plunged back into me, I pulled my knees up tighter and let out the loudest moan I didn't even know I had in me. It was almost as though the pressure of my knees pushed it out of my stomach, up my body and through my parted lips. Everything around me had disappeared as all I could feel and hear was Alex and my heavy breathing.
That was until I heard, "You guys ok in here? I thought I heard..." and it wasn't from me. Plus, Alex's mouth was occupied. And that only left... I looked up like a deer in headlights only to be faced with the same exact look "I was...I am...there is..." he pointed out of the room. "Shower...me...now..." and Brendon ran out the doorway.
My head fell back after breaking Alex's eye contact. "Shit," I let out. What now?
I pulled back and looked up at Spencer after having heard Brendon. I chucked softly but didn't stop my hand on his cock as I continued to stroke him. "Oops, I think we got caught."
Laughing again, I moved up Spencer's body, slowly licking and kissing my way up to his neck. I stopped by his ear and whispered, "So...we've been caught and you're all hot, sweaty, panting and hard. What're we going to do about this, Spence?" Slowly, I dragged my tongue along the shell of his ear before slipping my lips down to his earlobe and tugging on it a little. I let my body slide down against his, letting our hips slip in against each other’s I knocked his legs down, keeping one up with my arm so that it was hooked onto my hips.
Keeping my mouth against his neck, kissing and sucking on his skin a little, I angled my hips down so that I could repeatedly brush myself against him and stroke his body with my own cock. I loved how it felt to have his body rubbing against me and I hoped he was enjoying it like I was, even though what I really wanted to do was just fuck him right then and there.
As soon as I heard the shower turn on, I let out another long moan. What was it about this apartment that made boys noisy in bed? I couldn't help but laugh at that as I looked at Alex. "Sorry, it's just, this place needs soundproof walls or something." I laughed lightly as I pulled his neck down to kiss him, all but forcing my tongue into his mouth. I moaned against him as I pressed up with as much force on his lower half as he was applying to me.
Sighing through my nose, I let go of his neck and breathed, "Bren…Bren takes short showers..." I let out as I ran my hands down his body, squeezing his ass and forcing him into me. I was more or less wiggling and grinding and shaking beneath him, and I had never been this hard in my life. "That is..." I managed to get out between breaths, "Unless he's jerking off in there, too." I winked as I licked some sweat off his skin and moved one hand down between us so take both of us in my hand.
Not having much room since Alex was on top of me, I managed to pump the both of us the best I could while still thrusting upward and pressing him into me. My mouth found any and every part I could to lick, bite and nip at. I just hoped he and I both were about to wear shirts with collars. Well, not that Bren would keep us a secret from Ryan anyway. I guessed we would need to talk to him in the car on the way to the hospital.
I groaned against Spencer and thrust into his hand. I'd rather actually get the chance to fuck him, but obviously we wouldn’t if Brendon was up and about and going to come back for an explanation. I could only imagine what explanation we were going to give him for Spence having his legs spread and pressed back with my mouth in places I was pretty sure Bren never had Ry's.
Nipping at Spencer's lips, I kissed him harder, deeper and pressed myself in against him as I thrust into his hand. "Mmm...fuucckk...Spence...If you don't stay tonight I'm gonna be really...mmm...really fucking disappointed." I leaned in and kissed him hungrily, letting our tongues and lips slide and fight with each other before pulling back panting again. "I want that almost virgin ass or yours so badly right now and I can't fucking have it while Bren's here and awake..."
I smirked slightly before giving in to what I was feeling and started thrusting a bit more frantically into his hand as I returned to kissing him with as much hunger and passion as I could muster I slid one of my hands under the back of his head, pushing his hips down more into the pillow beneath them as I continued thrusting against him. I wanted to get off and if I couldn't get off inside him, I was gonna get off with as much thrusting and grinding and touching and kissing and pressing and...well, as much as I could get.
My eyes rolled back as his movements took over my body. I couldn't do much of anything but continue with what I was doing. Grinding, pushing, pulling, sucking, thrusting, stroking, moaning, licking, biting, and (luckily) breathing. Hell, I didn't even know I was capable of all that. The key thing was listening. Just hearing him say those things. Fuck, just hearing him talk...
I stroked a little faster as my legs straightened out from where he held them and I slammed my body up into his a few times. I let myself go between us with a long sigh and a "Fuck Lex, fuck fuck fuck," falling from my lips. With my come between us, we were able to move more fluidly against each other. I used it to stroke him harder and faster. I was getting weak and sleepy, but I knew we had a long day ahead of us. I didn't want to tire out from getting him off.
"Look at me," I mumbled as he turned his head. I wanted to watch him. He got to watch me as I was getting off and enjoying myself earlier, but now it was my turn. I wanted to see him when he came from our movements and actions and sweat and lust.
I smirked a little as I looked at him, lifting myself up just a little onto my elbows while I continued to move into his hand. He felt so good. Feeling his hand, his body, his come, all of it was perfectly wonderful and I just let myself go with it. Why not? We'd come to some sort of an understanding earlier, so why not just enjoy it as if it were something common and accepted between us?
I licked my lips and kept my eyes on his as I continued moving and thrusting into his hand until I couldn't deal with it anymore and came into his hand, against his stomach. Collapsing against him, I nuzzled my face into the curve of his neck and breathed him in as I lay there. I slid my arm around his waist. I was still breathing a little heavily, but it was okay because it was definitely worth it
Smiling, I kissed his neck softly and murmured. "Mm...Spence...I think you're going to need another shower. And I'm going to need one. And we'll need clean clothes...mmm...and a nap...I think a nap would be nice..."
