This Is Bullshit (44/?)
Title: This is Bullshit (44/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: R/E
Summary: A little bit of pillow talk
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon and Spencer, youbrat is Ryan and Alex. Ryan's pov is blue, Alex's is red, Spencer's is green and Bren's is black.





Ryan's parents dropped him and Alex off at their apartment. Luckily the place had an elevator, so getting him in went quite well. To make things easier, Spence and I got the keys from Alex, and we moved some furniture around. And, fuck if Ryan didn't look damn sexy in a wheelchair. The doctors advised it since his ribs were still weak, but just seeing him roll into his apartment, I wanted nothing more than to strip off his clothes and fuck him right there.

Weird, I didn't know I had a kink for the injured. Might just be something I had to explore...

Once they were inside and situated, we all looked at each other. We knew his parents were cool with all of us being sexual and touchy around each other, but we also knew better than to start humping or making out in front of them.

They announced their departure to go get some food and stated that they would be back in a few, it was rush hour, so hopefully that few was longer than expected, because as soon as they were back, Spence and I were leaving. We weren't staying to eat since we had to go back home. So, we needed to get in a good goodbye.

I smiled over at Ryan, grabbing his hand and kissing it, "You wanna stay there or sit on the couch?"

I shrugged a little and looked around the apartment. "I dunno...tho...I kinda want to curl up in a real bed, not a hospital bed. I'd say Lex's, but I don't think those sheets have been washed since he and Spence got vertical and that would just be nasty. I'm just not sure if my bed is big enough for me and this massive cast."

Frowning, I looked down at my leg before sighing softly. The doctors had released me with the understanding that I'd be heading home to Vegas with my parents by the end of the week. Alex and my parents would help pack up everything that needed to go home with me. I would leave a few things here because I had every expectation that I'd return every so often for meetings and any events I could attend. I wasn't really looking forward to that though. I wanted to stay, but I'd given in while we were still at the hospital. I really didn't have much of a choice.

My ribs would still be sore and need to be considered for a while longer, but the big issue was my leg. It would be in a cast for a while longer and I'd have myself checked by my primary doctor in Vegas every so often to make sure I was healing well. Ultimately it was sort of a compromise. Although, from my point of view, I was the one getting the raw end of it.

"I'm a little tired. But, I don't want to sleep until you guys have left because it would just suck if I fell asleep now and then you left while I was asleep, or if that meant me losing time with you..." I yawned softly. Sitting up, moving around, all of it had made me kinda tired. Alex was holding Spence's hand and it looked as though they were holding back from ripping off each other's clothes and going at it right there in the living room.

Nodding, I smiled down at Ryan, moving to sit on the couch next to where his chair had settled. I knew he hated it. I knew he hated every moment of sitting in that chair, and there was nothing I could do about it. Hopefully by the time he was home, he would be strong enough to use the crutches, but if I were him, I would want to milk it up for all it was worth, but, we all knew, I wasn't him.

I sighed giving him a short smile, then looked over at Spencer and Alex, "So, you know...if you two horn dogs wanna be alone and give that proper goodbye..." I winked at Spencer as he rocked on his feet.

"We don't wanna be rude or anything..." Spencer tried.

"Um, yea, who are you kidding, really, just don't take too long and make us explain it to his parents," I pointed over to Ryan. It was weird, I wasn't jealous or anything, but it was just weird...like, they are so different from our relationship...I mean, first comes sex, and then more sex. Shit, with Ry and I, well, he said he loved me before anything happened. Oh, wait, I told myself I had to block that out of my memory...

Alex chuckled and looked at Spencer before slapping him in the ass and walking over to me. He put his hands on the arms of the chair and looked down at me while I looked up at him. "I don't want to ruin your homecoming by disappearing on you, but, I get the feeling Bren wants to be alone with you. So...I'm going to take the little one over there into my room and drive him crazy by the skills you just know that I have while the two of you get as sexy as you can with that busted up leg and those precious ribs of yours. Just..." He looked over at Brendon before back at me. "Be gentle and don't get hurt."

He winked and leaned down to kiss me before he pulled back and winked. "Have fun."

I smiled softly while the two of them damn near raced into the bedroom and had to chuckle before I looked over at Brendon. "Well...looks like its just you and me, oh, and their moans, cuz I have the feeling Spence cannot and will not be quiet. So, what do we do if all we're doing is listening to them go at it?"

I frowned a little because I really didn't want to have to listen to them especially when I couldn't do all that myself. I was still supposed to not do much on the sexual side because of my ribs. The doctors didn't want me hurting them with sex, of course they didn't know what Bren did in the hospital room when they weren't around, but still. I wanted my body to heal, and it would take longer if I didn't follow their advice.

Yep, I stood up, leaning in to kiss him, "Just you and me, Love," I winked at him as I walked over to open the balcony door. For the middle of July, it was a nice day, the breeze was blowing just after a small rain. So, that gave me an idea, "Babe, I'll be right back..." I winked as I walked outside and moved the 'supplied' lawn furniture around. And who knew, there was a nice lounge type chair.

Walking over to it, I shook the wetness off as much as I could, not really caring because I knew I would be the one lying down on it, and I made my way back inside. Smiling to him again, I pulled the wheelchair back, then maneuvered it so that we were on the balcony and close to the chair.

"Now," I started as I moved in front of him, "I know that you aren't supposed to stand at all, but if you could just for one minute...and come over here," I helped him up, letting him lean on me as I brought the lounge thingy closer, "If you just stay right there, and," I laid down, patting my lap as I spread my legs, "Come, move right here between me..."

I didn't know about him, but I wanted to get the hell out of the indoors. I liked it outside and this way, we could be free from the moans and what not, and we could be alone. Hopefully he would go along with the plan too.

It hurt a little to stand, especially because I had to be on one leg because I wasn't allowed to put any pressure on the other one until they gave me a walking cast and permission to. I managed to hold myself up for long enough, but then there was the issue of maneuvering myself to lay down with him.

Chewing on my lip a little, I moved and sat down on the chair at the foot, letting out a sigh when it took some of the stress off of my ribs and the rest of my body. After having spent a few days laying down I felt rather weak and sore all over. But I thought by sitting down first and then sliding myself up on the chair I'd be more likely to do less damage to myself than by trying to slip in right against him.

"We've never really sat out here before..." I rested my head down against his chest as my body just rested against his. I made sure to position myself to do the least damage and soreness to my ribs. It may have been a little awkward, but I didn't really want to be facing away from him either. I just wanted to be held though, it felt so good and so nice. And it felt wonderful to be out of the hospital, even though I knew I wasn't going to get to stay at the apartment for more than another few nights. That was what I hated most about going home, leaving Alex alone in the apartment and leaving the internship.

"It's nice...I should have come out here more often."

"Yea," I smiled, looking out at the city, "You should," I kissed his head. I managed to wrap my arms around him loosely as we both got adjusted and situated in the chair. For being made of plastic, it was pretty comfy. Nuzzling my nose into him, he smelled slightly different, still clean from the bath he was given earlier, but different. It wasn't his shampoo, or his body wash. He smelled like a patient. And I wasn't a fan of that, but it was Ryan, none the less.

"You glad to be out of there? I mean, as sexy as you were in a hospital gown..." I laughed lightly causing him to shake. My fingers found their way to his arm, tracing and running patterns there as I listened to him breathe, "You did look sexy, though, but really, you look completely beautiful no matter what you are wearing."

I knew I was just talking, telling the truth, but talking, I guessed it was my way of ignoring what was right in front of me, "How did I get so lucky to get the most handsomest guy in Vegas and La?" I kissed his head again, slipping my fingers up his shirt, not in a sexual way, but just to feel him.

I chuckled softly and shrugged just slightly as I rested back against him and reached over and slid my hand into the one that wasn't up my shirt. "It is nice to be out of there...it was really starting to suck being in there. I wasn't a fan of the hospital, I'm still not. I really don't ever want to go back there, even for the check ups and everything..."

I frowned a little and tilted my head to look up at him. "I don't wanna go back ever again. I hate hospitals. I hate being in them." I sighed softly and looked down. "I hate the smell of them...and worse...I hate smelling like I've been in one..."

I frowned more and furrowed my eyebrows. I could tell I smelled like I was in the hospital and I hated that. I was going to have to take a bath because I couldn't shower, but it couldn't be a normal bath, I got to take sponge baths because I wasn't allowed to get the cast wet and there was only so much that wrapping it in plastic would do. So until I got the cast off, I'd be taking sponge baths, or be receiving them from my parents or Alex, or, when I got home, Bren. Either way, I was already missing actual showers or a real bath and I'd barely started with the cast.

"You still smell beautiful to me, though, really you do Ryan," I sighed, taking in the surroundings. I didn't want to leave tonight, but my parents practically told me I had to, or my job would be on the line. And, as much as I loved Ryan, I didn't want that. I mean, it was one thing if it was some stupid job, but at the office, I was representing my father too, so, I didn't want to disappoint there.

Tilting his chin up, I stretched to place a soft kiss on his lips, "I know you don't want to go back, but at least you are out, Babe, and that is a good thing. I mean, it was a good recovery time, you know, for what happened, so that is a plus..." I didn't want to bring up the wreck, but I guessed it was inevitable, because it was staring right in our faces.

I heard a noise from inside and laughed a little, "So, what do you think those two are up to in there? You think Spencer is laid out on his back spread eagle for Alex, or you think he is takin' it from behind?" I laughed again at the thought, but somewhat relieved for a subject change.

I shrugged a little and murmured quietly. "Depends on the mood Lex is in. If he's in a mood to be affectionate and loving, Spence is on his back. If Lex is feeling animalistic and doesn't really care about being face to face, he's taking it from behind and being pressed into the bed and pounded recklessly. It just depends on Alex's mood. But either way...I'm sure Spence is loving every second of it."

I opened my eyes and looked up at him a little. "Why? Are you curious to go find out for yourself? I doubt they'd notice if you walked in and checked to see. Hell, Lex would probably invite you to join if Spence was okay with it." I smiled softly and shrugged a little before lying back down against him again.

"You may think I smell beautiful, but I feel like I still smell like the hospital. After you guys leave I think I'll see if I can really get myself clean...take a sponge bath. Although, I doubt they'll let me do it myself. I'll probably have to agree to be helped...but, I'll do my best to do it myself without help. I don't want to have to have help with things like getting clean..." I pouted a little to myself. "I don't really like being dependent on someone else."

"No, that's not it," I giggled, "I was just wondering. And I would never walk in there. And Spencer for sure would prolly not allow me to join in. Spence isn't really a fan of his body, so that's why I am surprised he went for Alex, I mean, I mean that in the nicest sense, just, well, because well, Alex is Alex, and the both of you talk like sex gods or something, and you both are amazingly hot, so I would have thought he would be more intimidated by him or something, I don't know..."

I sighed, not sure if I got all that out right, most likely, knowing my track record, I did not.

"But, yea, you prolly won't be able to do it alone, so, um, we could, like, you know, I could give you one, just so that, well, since you are sleepy, when your parents get back, you can eat and then pass out or something. Plus, it'll give me a chance to see you naked and get to touch you and smell the real Ryan and kiss you before I have to go back home..." I smirked as I tickled his tummy slightly, flattening my hand on it to rub.

Smiling softly, I slipped my hand over Brendon's. "But at the same time, even if he didn't like his body, he had to be able to see something from Alex. I mean, I think Alex gave a lot of signs, at least for him, that he had some interest in Spence. So, even if he hates his body, Alex, obviously, likes it. If he didn't like it, he wouldn't be with him. Maybe, being with Lex will help his self image and self confidence. He has changed a bit since they've been flirting. His clothes are a little less loose and conservative and he wears eyeliner now..."

I looked up at Bren again. "He seems different since I met him even. He's more outgoing and confident. And he's looking sexier since we started giving him a little makeover." I smiled and pulled his hand up to kiss it softly.

"As for the sponge bath...do you really wanna? I think I'd feel a little less...um...awkward and uncomfortable with you helping me than with my mom or dad. And Alex is going to be very distracted until you and Spence actually drive off. But you don't have to, I can do it myself after you leave."

I nodded to Ryan, "Yea, he does look better, and he is carrying himself better to, so damn, I never thought of it, but there definitely is a physical and psychological change in him since he graduated from high school, I just assumed it was that, but the whole Alex thing does kind of make sense," I nuzzled my nose in Ryan's hair, "You are so smart, tis why I love you so much!"

He was though, I still didn't know how he did it, he could just take any situation and decipher and analyze it and make it sound right and respectable. It was almost sickening how well he did it. But, it made me happy anyway!

"Of course I would do that for you Ryan, I would give you a sponge bath any day...just the thought of seeing you naked and at my beckon call with a wash cloth or loofa..." I giggled, "But, no really, I would do that for you Ryan, you know I would, plus, I really want to be able to take in the scent of My Ryan again before we go, or I'm gonna have to steal your sheets on your bed and take them with me."

"If you steal my sheets what am I going to sleep in? And if you say Lex's bed, then before you steal my sheets you need to wash his because as much as I love both of them, I don't want to sleep in sheets they've been having sex round the clock in. That’s just nasty." I wrinkled my nose as I looked up at him before breaking into a smile.

"But if you really wanna give me a sponge bath, we're gonna have to figure out how to do it. I mean...I can't really sit in the tub because then the cast will get wet, or I'll have to have my leg sticking out the side and that would be bad for my ribs. I could sit on the toilet seat...but that'd be uncomfortable...I dunno if it would be something we could do, but we could try in my bedroom...but we'd need a bucket of some sort."

I twisted my lips a little. "I just don't know how to deal with the mechanics of it. But...I really don't want to smell like a hospital...I hate the scent so much...so...yeah...I think I want a bath..." I looked up and into his eyes and bit my lip lightly.

"Neh, you can sleep in Alex's bed, and make him wash the sheets. Plus, isn't it bigger?" I asked him as I nudged him up slightly, pushing him down the chair to give me enough room to climb out from behind him, "And, doesn't he have extra sheets, I mean really, he's a gay man, and we all know we are always prepared for that situation, or, are those dirty too?" I laughed, making my way around to the front of him.

Once I got there, I squatted down in front of him. Being eye level, I smirked quickly before swiping in and taking his bottom lip into my mouth. I sucked on it for a few moments, then released it and brought my hands to his sides, then down to his bum.

"It will be simple, you have garbage bags, right? We will just wrap your leg up in that, just in case, but have you sit on a chair or something," I looked around, spotting a plastic on one the balcony, "Perfect, so it can get wet, how does that sound?" I cheesed at him, cause for once, I might actually have a good idea.

I shrugged a little. "Who knows if all his sheets are dirty with the way those two have been going at it. I mean...it’s possible they are, or it’s possible he didn't change them because they haven't had time...I dunno." I bit my lip a little and glanced toward the apartment, suddenly having a worrying feeling, but I shook myself out of it and looked back at Bren.

"And yeah...that sounds like it would work...and then I wouldn't have to worry about getting my bed wet. But...after the bath, I wanna go and curl up in my bed until they're done. Then, you can make Lex change his sheets and clean up the room, and make sure it doesn't smell like a brothel in there so that I can lay down and sleep in there after you guys leave."

I nodded and smiled before leaning in and kissing him softly and sighing before murmuring. "I love you Bren, you know that?" Reaching up, I ran my fingers through his hair. "You wanna go set all that up and I'll come in once we get me into the chair and in there?"

Reaching my hand to his neck, I pulled his lips to mine, "I love you too," I whispered as I moved back, sniffing my nose then smiling at him, "I'll be right back then," I winked, standing up, smoothing down my pants and walking over to grab the chair.

Once I got it, I carried it in their apartment, closing the door I just opened to not let all the hot air in. I didn't even realize it until now, but I was sweating. Who knew I could sweat so much outside in LA in the summer? I laughed at myself, then stopped, hearing a few moans and shuffling around coming from Alex's room. Smirking, I made my way over to the bathroom, sighing, taking in my own scent. Hmm, maybe I should take a shower myself. It would probably be easier cleaning him naked then trying not to get wet.

I placed the chair in the shower, making sure to get out a towel, some washcloths and locating the shampoo and soap. Having everything set out, I strode over to the kitchen, rummaging through a few drawers before finding a garbage bag with a drawstring. Perfect. Just like my Ryan. Smiling, I walked back outside, signifying I was ready to begin.

I relaxed back against the chair as I waited for him to come back. I just closed my eyes and felt the sun beating down on me. After having been in the hospital, even if it was only for a short time, it felt absolutely amazing to be out under the sun again, it almost felt cleansing, and yes, very hot. But I wasn't shying away from the heat, at least not for the time being, I was just enjoying not being in a hospital bed or in a hospital, period.

Sighing softly I ran my hand over my ribs, just lightly. Everything still hurt and I was still feeling a little out of it after the accident. I wasn't happy that I'd be going home and not staying, I still wanted to stay and I wasn't going to give up that want and wish, but, at the same time, I also knew that there just was no chance with everything I'd have to go through with my leg. It was a bit too much for my head and my heart and my body. I felt more broken then I probably even looked.

I looked up when Brendon came back and gave him a small smile, reaching up one of my hands to guard my eyes from the sun, wincing a little at what it caused my ribs to do when I moved. "This sucks. How am I going to have sex with my ribs like this? How am I supposed to do anything with them like this?" I shook my head a little and looked away. "I really really just wanna heal and be back to normal..."

I let my smile fade as I walked over to Ryan, "Babe, it will heal in due time. And, you will adjust, I will adjust, we will adjust. I know you want it to just go away and to be fine. I do too, Ry," I ran my fingers long his cheek so he could look at me, "You made it though, you are going to survive, and once the bone heals, you will be back to normal. It will take time, yes, but, there are things you can do to make it as norm as possible."

Winking at him, I remembered something I was working on in the car ride after finding Spencer and Alex. I was overly horny and thinking of Ryan, and I drew up some stick figures of how we could work around his leg. In the sexual sense.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I think I have the sex thing covered," I playfully bit my tongue at him, "But that is something we can discuss in the bath, or afterwards, right now, let's get you up and out!" Standing up, I held my arms out to him, "How do you want me to help you? Tell me what you think you can do or can't do, and I will do the rest. If you want me to carry you, I can do that too," I gave him a genuine smile, "Whatever makes you comfortable..." the last thing I wanted was for him to think I was babying him.

I shrugged a little and chewed on my lip a little as I thought about it. "Well, I think if we get me back in the wheelchair it'll be the best way to get me to the bathroom. I'd rather you carry me, but, I'm not sure how good that'd be on my ribs. I just..." I sighed softly and shrugged a little again. "I don't know what hurts too much and what's too awkward. But...I can only think that being carried right now would twist me and put pressure on my ribs in the wrong way. So...maybe you can when they're a little better."

Smiling at him, I moved down a little bit on the lounge chair. I loved the balcony, and even more, I loved the fact that there were lounge chairs on it. I figured that I'd be on that lounge chair as much as I could before I was 'evicted' from LA. "Just help me get into the chair? I'm not sure I can push myself up on my own right now...I still feel a little, well, wobbly."

I gave him a pathetic look. As much as I loved being loved on and babied by the two men in my life, I didn't like the idea of depending on them to help me do even the smallest and most normal tasks, like getting up and down into and out of chairs, or to the bathroom, or into bed, or changing clothes.

I nodded to him, walking behind him to straddle the lounge chair he was on. After getting my feet on the ground firmly, I pulled at his pants, using that grip and my fingers on his waist to hoist him up enough for him to lean against me. Once he had his weight against my back. I gulped in his ear, not really having thought about my actions.

"Ok, Ry, I want you to put all the weight on the ball of your right foot, ok?" I asked, running my nose up his cheek, waiting for him to nod, Receiving the said nod, I placed my arms around his waist, dipping low to move is body 180 degrees. Now facing the opposite direction, I moved us backwards slowly, still allowing him to put all the weight he needed on my body.

Once my foot hit the chair, I stopped, "Ok, just stand still for a sec while I let go of you and then you can sit down into the chair," I smiled, "And then, there you go, you did it all yourself," I pecked his lips, waiting to remove my arms once I felt he had enough support. I felt his body shift slightly, so I let go.

I let Brendon help maneuver me into the wheelchair and sat down gently. I wasn't a fan of the wheelchair to be honest. I felt like an invalid and like there was something more wrong with me than my broken ribs and my broken leg. I felt almost helpless and like I was a baby kitten at the mercy of someone and trusting them to do right by me. So maybe that was a little bit of an over the top analogy, but still, it was rather how I felt.

Nodding a little, I looked up at Brendon after I'd gotten myself situated in the chair. "Okay, I'm set I think. So, you're really ready to give me a sponge bath? I mean...I can't imagine I smell good enough to even be around, let alone be that close to me..." I chuckled softly and shrugged again. I was surprised that shrugging didn't really bother my ribs. I kinda thought they would have.

"I'm probably all shriveled and not attractive. And god, my leg is gonna be so gross when they take this cast off!" I pouted up at him slightly before murmuring. "Will you still love me if I'm all shriveled and gross?"

Laughing, I was about to push him inside when I stopped right before the doors. I made my way around in front of him and squatted so I was eye level, "Ry...you are beautiful, no matter what in my eyes, so don't you worry your prettiness off, ok?" Pecking his lips, I moved back to smile at him, "And of course I love you. And I will love you no matter what shape or form you are in, sorry to break it to you Ry, but I have fallen for you, so now you are stuck with me!"

I grinned as I rustled his hair then stood back up to open the door and rolled him through. Ahh, the cool air hit us in the faces as I maneuvered over to the bathroom, pushing him inside enough for me to shut the door. Squeezing around him, I kneeled in front of him, smiling, "So, should we get you naked?" I winked, "And bring on the sponge!"

Not even waiting for him, I pulled off my shirt, and started to undo my pants, thinking it would be easier and less strain on him for me to be ready before him so he didn't have to sit and wait on me. Well, I guessed technically no matter what he would be sitting, but I thought possibly my nakedness would distract him. Removing my pants and boxers, I smiled down at him as I reached for his shirt, "Now, this isn't like the zoo, you can touch all you want!"

I raised my eyebrows as he started to strip naked and I wondered what was going on that he was getting naked too, not that I minded because I mean who would mind their boyfriend being naked in front of them? I certainly didn't mind it, and I loved the comment that it wasn't like the zoo and that I could touch all I wanted.

I grinned up at him a little. "Hmm, but I always loved the zoo. Of course, the petting zoo was always my favorite." I winked up at him and smirked softly. "Course, there were no animals like you at the petting zoo, or any other zoo I've ever been to...I may have to take extra time experiencing this new zoo." Winking again at him, I then looked down at myself, trying to figure out how on earth we were going to get me undressed and into the tub for my bath while I was still completely clothed.

"So, mister zoo exhibit extraordinaire, how are we going to go about this? Cuz...um...I'm not naked and I'm still in this horrid chair."

Shaking my head, I laughed at him again, "Well, mister, um, I dunno, clothed boy..." I shook my head again, "This is how it is going to go down. First of all, this shirt," I fiddled with the fabric at his shoulders, "It has to go!" I nodded, kneeling now to run my fingers ghostly along him to the hem of his shirt.

Tickling him, almost, I pulled the shirt up until it was to his head, glancing down, I sucked in a breath as I saw his chest and stomach. Gulping, I removed the rest of his shirt, but not taking my eyes off his pale, bruised and broken skin, "Oh, Babe," I let out, biting my lip, then making eye contact, "I'm so sorry Ryan..." I licked my lips, trailing my fingers down his chest, feeling the scabs.

I forced my eyes back to his, "it's gonna heal, and you are going to be the most beautiful person in the world once again," I paused, "I mean, not that you are not right now, but I mean, fuck Ryan, you are so beautiful, and you look...god I wish it was me instead of you, you are too perfect and amazing for this. I love you Ryan, I really do..."

I shook my head and reached down, taking his hand in mine and shaking my head again. "Bren, don't say that. It happened..." I looked down at myself and frowned before closing my eyes. "It shouldn't have happened to you instead. You're right, I'll heal...I may look horrible right now, but I'll heal...just..." I looked up at him, a frown still on my lips. "Don't really look at me till its all gone and I don't look...horrid like I do now."

I looked down again and then crossed my arms over myself. My body looked disgusting and I really didn't want anyone looking at it, let alone Brendon. I wanted to look beautiful for him and nothing but beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful at all and I knew I didn't look beautiful. I'd seen myself in the mirror since the hospital. I looked horrible, and it wasn't just the bruises and cuts and everything, it was me.

Biting my lip, I looked up at him through the stringy and greasy locks of hair that were hanging in front of my face. Right then, I pretty much hated myself, but I wasn't going to let him know that. "Just...think of me how I was and ignore how I am. And just...don't look."

Sighing I gulped again, "Ryan, I can't just not look. I love you. And I think you are beautiful. And you are beautiful. And you are mine. And no bruise or scar or scab or blood is going to change that. I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I was just, I was just shocked..." I managed to get out. Going against his request, I stared at his chest and sides again, taking it all in. It looked like someone had taken him and beat the living shit out of him, then tossed him down a glass covered stair case.

I gave into the fear and shock and then gave it all away. Leaning in, as lightly as I could, I placed kisses down his body. Kissing and licking, and blowing the surface in front of me. I watched his body contract in front of me. I wondered if it hurt, then I thought of the blow job earlier, and all the blood rushed out of my face. I was such an ass...

"Ry," I pulled back, looking in his eyes, "Did I hurt you before, I mean, physically when I sucked you off, I mean, did it hurt? I, I..." I cleared my throat, "I know how much you get into sexual things, and stuff, and how much you arch your back and all of that, but before, did I hurt you? Was I being selfish to get you off? If I was, I'm sorry Ryan, that was not my intent, I just, I wanted to make you happy and satisfied, and show you that I still loved your body and cared about you, and fuck, I made you in pain, didn't I?" I bit my lip, "I mean, not that is it all about me, but if I hurt you now, you will tell me right?"

Sighing, I slipped my hand into Brendon's hair and just looked at him for a few minutes before closing my eyes and resting my head back a little. "Stop, Bren. If it hurt or it didn't, it doesn't matter, it isn't like we can go backwards and change it. So seriously, just stop." I sighed and shook my head before licking my lips. "I'm fine. Obviously it didn't hurt enough for me to stop you or I would have, okay?"

I looked around the bathroom for a moment before back over to Brendon. "Can we just get me clean and get me to bed? I really...I'm tired...I'm sore...I want to be clothed and covered so no one can see me..." I closed my eyes and let my head fall forward a little, my voice dropping to a whisper. "Can we please take a bath now? Please? I just...I really don't want you to keep having to look at me like this..."

Giving Brendon the most puppyish look that I could muster. I hated the stupid wheelchair that I was in and I couldn't wait until I could be on crutches so I could move around on my own. The problem was my ribs. I just wanted to be mobile on my own and all. And I didn't want to have to worry about being bathed about someone else. I wanted to be able to do it all on my own. And I wanted to look perfect for Brendon.

I smiled and nodded to him. I knew no matter what I said, no matter how many comments I shelled out to him, that he was Ryan Ross and he would think whatever he wants. Truth was, I thought he looked more beautiful now then I have ever seen him. Call me a sucker for the needy, but I loved the fact that he was dependent on me. For once. I loved that the roles were reversed and I was in the lead. And not so much the lead...like I was going to win, but just the fact that, well, he really did need me there.

Stepping into the tub, I stabilized myself enough to not fall, reaching for the chair, placing it next to me covering it with a towel so Ryan wasn't sitting on whatever gunk had managed to settle on it outside. Then there was the garbage bag. It seemed kind of trashy, but the best thing I could come up with at the moment. I remembered when my sister broke her arm one summer, and every time she swam, she had to wrap it up. Shaking open the bag, I grabbed it from the top, letting the air out before taking Ryan's leg, lifting it in the wheelchair to wrap the bag around it, then tucked the top excess into the cast.

"How much are you in love with these shorts?" I titled my head to look at him. There was an easy way and a hard way of getting him out of these things, and with Ryan, when it came to clothes, I figured I should go with the harder way. "Oh, yea, never mind...here, stand up for me," I stepped out of the tub to kneel in front of him so he could use my shoulders for support, "Here, lean on me for a sec, then I will get rid of the shorts, and help you in the tub..."

I looked down at him and reached out to try and put my weight on him while I tried to get up, the problem was, I couldn't get out of the chair by myself. I tried, but it hurt and I had to stop and relax against the chair again, taking in a shaky breath as I did. "I can't...Bren...I need help. I don't...I can't get up. Fuck! I hate this. I hate that I can't even get up out of this fucking chair without help!"

I ran my hand through my stringy hair and closed my eyes. I felt like crying, I really did. I hadn't really cried a lot since I woke up, and I felt my emotions boiling up inside me, but I didn't. I held it in and slowly looked back up at him. "Just...seriously...help? I need to get clean and I just..." I sighed and shook my head a little, looking over at the shower before back at him.

"I'm sorry Bren...I know...I'm like a whiney bitch or something...I'm just...I...I don't know." I closed my eyes and leaned back in the chair again. "I'm being so pathetic, I know I am...but if I could get out of the chair on my own it'd make things so much easier...you should turn the water on so it gets warm..."

"Babe..." I let out, "Fuck," I mumbled, standing up, running my fingers up his chest as I pulled myself up, "You are not being a whiny bitch, ok? I just," sighing, I reached over and turned on the water like he recommended, "I just wanted you to do what you thought you could do, and I would take care of the rest...I didn't except you to be able to just pick yourself up and do things, I just didn't want you to think...I don't know, I just..."

Sighing, I gulped, leaning down to kiss his temple. I moved his arm off the side of the wheelchair that was removable, and I lifted him up, bridal style, "Keep your leg out..." I managed to say between grunts. Normally, Ryan weighed like a hundred pounds or something, but with the cast, he was like dead weight. Managing to get him up and balance myself, I stepped backward, a foot on the tub so I could rest the bulk of his weight on my knee, then strained to step back with the other leg, and position him in the chair.

Once he was in, I let out a long breath, smiling at him, running my hand through his hair, "See, that was easy," I gave him a genuine smile making sure his leg rested on the edge of the tub, "Now, about those shorts...we could either maneuver you or something, or I can cut the leg off...It's up to you. I know you don't want to waste the shorts, but actually, you might be able to reuse them or something with safety pins, so that you do have easier access to getting them off once they are washed," twisting my lips to think about it, I shrugged, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, and wetting a washcloth I placed on the side of the tub earlier.

"I don't really care that much about the shorts, Bren, so we can destroy them if we need to. I just don't want to stand up, I don't think I can even if I tried. I just...I think we can just cut them and not worry about it, they aren't my favorite pair or anything. And maybe having a cut up pair would be good, I could pretty much wear them anytime...until I get this horrid cast off my leg."

I gave him a look and shrugged a little before glancing around, not seeing a pair of scissors. "But how are we going to cut them? I don't even know if we have scissors in the apartment. And I doubt we can go and ask Alex if he has any...he's too busy I'm sure with your best friend to even be thinking about scissors." I smirked a little at the thought before returning my attention to the task at hand and to my boyfriend in front of me.

"You could just rip them off me, as long as you don't put pressure on my body as you do it...but that might be hard...um...you could use a razor to slit it and then rip from the slit, that might be easier than just ripping it..." I chewed on my lip a little as I thought about it, although, as I was sitting there I was getting hit with water from the shower, it felt good, but I needed to get the shorts off so that I could actually enjoy the water on almost all of me and then start getting the scent of the hospital off of me. I almost wished that Alex were there to help get me into the shower. That way we'd have two people, one to support and hold me up, the other to arrange things, like getting the shorts off or whatever. Either way, one other person made it easier, just not as easy as two. But I couldn't take Alex from Spence, even if there was a part of me that would like to just to have the comfort of both men in my life there.

I clicked my tongue as I looked at him. Tapping my fingers, I grabbed the bottle of body wash and poured some in it, handing it to Ryan, "Here, lather this up real good and I'll be right back, ok?" I asked, placing a kiss on his head, "I love you," I smiled as I walked out of the room and into the kitchen. There had to be a pair of scissors in here somewhere. Shifting through the draws, I opened all of them until my eyes fell on the knife set on the counter. Well...

Shrugging, I grabbed the smallest and *OUCH* pointiest knife in the bunch and walked back into the bathroom, but not after pausing to drop my mouth from the moans coming from Alex's room. And Spencer said Ryan was loud...um....

Shaking my head, I stepped back in the bathroom, looking at Ryan, "Spencer is a lot louder than I would have ever imagined," I winked, "Wait, not that I imagined it..." I shook my head again, slapping it with the knife still in hand, but stopping before I could do anything.

"Oh yea!" I set the knife down, handle towards me on the counter and got back in the tub. Once I had a good grip on it, I leaned down, taking the leg of his boxers and pulling it as far up as I could to get the knife in and cut a hole up towards me. After making a sufficient enough hole, I used my hands to rip it from one end to the other, along the fabric to make a straight line. Grabbing the knife again, I cut the seam at the cast, then let the elastic waist go since I could move around that. Then, I repeated it for the next leg.

Chuckling softly, I shook my head and thought for a moment. "Spence is loud, huh? Well, I have to say that doesn't really surprise me. I mean...it is usually the quiet ones that are the loudest in bed. Well, especially with Lex." I smirked softly and grinned at Brendon. "Lex has a way of showing you things you never imagined, including your own internal kinks you didn't know exist, or those spots inside you or on your body that make you moan like a cheap whore. He'll seek them out in the first half hour of being permitted to touch you."

I chuckled softly and shrugged a little. "It can be hot to listen to...or at least I think it can be, if you don't have a problem with who is in there with him...since I can't really do much for you, you can go listen if it'll get you excited...I wouldn't mind really." I smiled and shrugged again before pulling his lips to mine and kissing him softly. "I can bathe myself if you're all...frustrated and wanna get turned on and get off, cuz I really can't do much to help you there."

I bit my lip as my hand massaged the washcloth that he'd put in my hand. I really wouldn't have cared if he wanted to listen to get off, I mean, I knew what it was like with Alex, the sounds he made, the sounds he got you to make. It was hot. And if I had to listen I'd probably get turned on, only, there wasn't a lot I could do if I was. So if Bren needed to, I could sorta live vicariously, although I'd rather he not tell me all about it because then I'd be jealous or horny. Neither was particularly a good place for me to b e at the moment. I just honestly wanted to get clean and get into bed, well, preferably Alex's bed so I had space, but I would insist he change the sheets before I got into that bed. No offense to Spence or anything, but there was no way I was getting into sheets the two of them just had had sex in.

"No, no..." I looked down at myself, I wasn't getting turned on, I was in quite control of myself actually, nothing to worry about, "Leave you naked and needy while going to go listen to them? I think not. You here is only a million times hotter than them in there will ever be!" winking at him, I ran my hand up his covered cast, creating some crackling noises then I stopped.

Wiggling my brows, I bit my lip, taking the washcloth from him, "Now, I had to babysit these kids down the street a couple of times, and I had to give them a bath each time, so I might just be a pro..." I smiled, laughing at myself as I found an almost empty bottle in the caddy. Unscrewing the cap, I tossed it in the sink to get later, then ran it under the water, rinsing it out, "Now, the key is to not get you entirely wet..." I nodded to him, filling up the bottle, then tilting his head back.

Once his chin was pointed towards the ceiling, I poured the water over his head, dampening it, then getting some more and repeating the process. With his hair wet enough, I continued to fill the bottle and pour it over his body, "Now, you clean what you can on your chest, so I don't hurt you, and I'll wash your hair!" I was excited, I loved washing people's hair, but I didn't get the chance to do it that often.

After filling my palm with shampoo, I massaged it in his hair, working extra hard on the clumps of blood and stickiness. Biting my lip, I pulled back my hand. The suds were a light pink; I cleared my throat, taking the bottle full of water to rinse his hair again, rinsing away the red and blood, before repeating the process again until the suds came out clean.

I winced a little at him washing my hair. I'd hit my head and it had caused a cut, and as the world knows, cuts to the head bleed like crazy. So I had a scab on my hairline that would slowly fade, and I hoped wouldn't leave a scar, but, it had bled like crazy, or so I was told at least. That was most likely the source of all the blood found on me and on Alex after the accident. I hadn't seen any other cuts severe enough to do what that one could, and after Alex had explained about all the blood, I just figured that was what had done it. Either way, the globs of dried blood in my hair and the tugging on my scalp hurt a little, but, at the same time, him washing my hair felt good.

I wasn't sure how I could actually wash myself when I couldn't even look at myself to see what I was doing, but I tried at the same time. I moved the washcloth gently over my skin, trying to not put too much pressure anywhere, but just enough to get clean and to get that horrid hospital stench off of me. I simply refused to continue another day feeling and smelling like I'd just spend my life in a hospital. I was out, I wanted to smell like me and feel like me. At least as much as I could. There was still the bruising and cuts and the cast, there was still the broken ribs, but I was hoping that the cast wouldn't counteract the smell of my own shampoo and body wash. That would just be depressing.

I felt when he was done washing my hair and tilted my head forward so that I could look down at myself and make sure that I'd actually gotten my whole chest cleaned. The rest of me didn't really matter for pressure, well, my left arm was severely bruised and had gotten pretty much all the force and impact that my leg had gotten, with the exception that it had somewhere to go and didn't break, so I didn't really want too much pressure on that, but otherwise it didn't so much matter. I looked up at Bren and murmured. "All set?"

Rinsing his hair clean, then his body, I smiled down at him, "You did an excellent job!" I tried to bring the morale back a little in the room since I did make him do the hard work. His hair seemed to be cleaned, leaning down, I smelled it, nipping at the wet strands, and yes, they were much better.

Taking the wash cloth from him, I rinsed that out too, then reapplied some more body wash as I moved to get closer to his chest and body, "Ok, you're gonna have to lean forward just a little and I'm gonna get your back ok? But only when I say when..." first, before I would do his back, I cleaned up his neck and his shoulder, rinsing them, then squatting to help him balance while I washed down his spine and ribs. I knew it had to hurt the strain, and I tried to move quickly.

To make him not think about it, I pressed a kiss to his now clean neck, the smell of Ryan slowly coming back. Sucking on him there lightly, I remained connected to him there as I helped him back against the chair, running my washcloth now to his underarms and biceps.

"You are doing great," I pulled back, kissing the red spot where I was sucking, then blowing on it with a smile, "You smell amazing too..."

I smiled softly, almost blushing a little before looking over at him and murmuring. "Do you think they're done yet? I wanna lay down for a while and I don't wanna have to get up for a while. So...he needs to change his sheets so I can use his bed..." I trailed off and reached up to touch him softly. "I wish you weren't leaving when mom and dad get back. I wish you'd stay for a while. I don't want you to go yet, even though I know I'm going home soon enough..."

I sighed a little and shrugged some before looking down and playing gently with the edge of the bag on my leg. "I love Lex, I know he'll do everything and anything for me and to help me in any way that I need and all...He'll baby me and treat me like a princess once Spence is gone. He won't go out without making sure everything's okay for me to be alone and all...but as much as I love Alex, I want you to stay and be the one here for the next few days and all." I bit my lip. "I'd rather mom and dad go home and you stay...but...I'll be selfish and say I'd rather just you stay...just you and Lex."

I gave him a small, shy smile before reaching out to run my fingers under the water of the shower. I looked back up at him before whispering. "Did you wanna shower too? Or were you just naked cuz you'd get wet and it'd be easier to just...be naked instead of getting all wet and soapy in your clothes?" I was glad that it was warm enough that I wasn't shivering from the cold air of the apartment. I knew I'd need to get wrapped up in towels or clothes or something soon though.

"No, I just wanted to be naked here with you..." I winked, getting the fun stuff out before the conversation got serious. I moved to lift his leg a little and sat on the edge of the tub, "I'll go check in just a little bit, it wasn't that long ago that they were still in there doing what they do, but I'll go check, and change the sheets myself if I have to," I smiled at him.

Licking my lips, I reached out and tucked his wet hair behind his ears, "I wish I could stay too, Ry. But, we both know it's inevitable. And like you said, you will be home soon enough, but I know, even though Alex is in there with Spencer, but as soon as he is gone...you are his number one priority, and well, you always are, he was just distracted by my sexy friend, I guess, but I am sure that he wants nothing more in the world to take care of you and help you and be at your beckon call. So, it'll be ok, and work out, I promise. And yes, I am sure you already know that..."

I kissed his cheek then pulled back, "I love you..." I whispered as I ran my fingers down his neck, "Can I kiss you?" I asked in a soft voice. I didn't want him to strain to hard, and I didn't want to hurt him, but I wanted his lips on mine, "Better yet, why don't I get us both some towels, and I'll go get them up and cleaning up, then when I come back, I'll get you back in the room and in Alex's bed...then I will kiss you...kiss you to sleep, how's that sound?"

I smiled softly and nodded. "It sounds good. I think being in a bed right now would be a very very good thing. I feel very tired..." I yawned after saying that and pouted a little because I hadn't meant to do that. It was just that being up, sitting up and moving around after being in a coma and in a hospital bed, it was exhausting and made me want to sleep and sleep for hours and forever.

Pulling my leg up a little, I looked over at Brendon. "Could you please get some towels? I'm starting to get cold and I really wanna cover up some. I wanna dry off." Shivering for the first time since he turned off the water, I gave him my signature pouty look before wrapping my arms around myself and turning a little in the chair. "But, you need to kiss me first. I don't wanna get out of the tub without getting a kiss. So..."

I grinned a little at him and winked before shivering again and frowning, looking down at the goosebumps that were starting to appear on my body. "You better be quick though before I shiver to death." I winked at him so that he knew that I was joking and I wasn't actually going to shiver to death or anything but I really did just want to get covered and get in bed. My ribs were aching a little from the sitting up and all. And of course, my leg was bothering me. But I rather figured that would happen for a very long time and my luck I'd have a leg that predicted the weather.

Laughing at him, I loved when he got like this, joking and being just so damn sexy! I managed to lean down and grab the back of his neck softly tilting my head as I pulled him closer to me. I pressed my lips to his for a brief moment before opening my mouth and sucking on his bottom lip. Dropping it, I moved closer to him, still holding his neck, bracing my other arm on the back of the chair, then deepened the kiss.

I missed kissing him. I know I had kissed him more often then I should have due to the circumstances, and the fact that I was here, in LA, but even so, his lips, they were meant to be against mine. His tongue was made to curl in my mouth, and his lips, that bottom lip, it is the perfect shape and size and matter for me to suck and tug at... If I didn't stop soon, I was going to get hard, and if all Ryan wants to do is go to bed, then I was going to have a LONG hard drive back to Vegas.

Ending with a peck, I reached over and pulled out a towel, wrapping it around him, drying him off delicately, taking another towel and lining the wheelchair. Once he was as dry as I could get form the angle, I picked him up again, sitting him down into the chair, "Now, you're gonna have to shake your ass or something to get that side dry, and I'm gonna go see what those two are up to, and get you some clothes, and I'll be right back, ok?" I smiled down at him, kissing him on the lips again, "Then, you can stretch out on Alex's bed, all clean and soft and beautiful," I whispered rubbing our noses together.

Smiling up at him, I tilted my head back and kissed his nose softly before murmuring. "I don't care too much about clothes. Just grab a pair of boxers or pajama pants and we can steal a shirt from Alex since he's got some that are a little...wait, forget that, we can get pajama pants from him too. He has these pajama pants that are like, huge and should be able to fit over this horrid thing without a problem. And then steal one of his tshirts too. I should make a point of keeping one pair of baggy pajama pants at all times so that I don't have to steal his."

I thought about that for a few moments, just dazing off for a few moments before coming back to it and looking up at him, smiling a little. "Sorry, zoned out there for a minute. Yeah, grab them from him. He and Spence should be up by now anyway, we've given them more than enough time and mom and dad should be back soon. So get them up, make Alex change sheets, ask him for the grey pajama pants and, um...his black LA tshirt...I don't know if I need boxers...they'd just be a pain to get on I think."

I smiled softly at him and leaned up to kiss him again softly. "And thank you for the bath. You're amazing to me Bren, you really are." I kissed him again before whispering. "I love you."

I bit my lip, nodding as he spoke, cracking a smile at the end, "I love you too Ryan, I love you too..." The grin remained on my face as I stepped out of the bathroom just as Spencer was doing the same from Alex's room. I raised a brow at him then shook my head, "Yea, so, I'm bathing my injured boyfriend, and you are in there getting some, you oughta be ashamed of yourself young man," I laughed, patting him on the back when he neared me and headed towards the bathroom.

"Oh, Ry's in there, wait, here...you go help Alex change the sheets for Ry, and I'll go get some clothes."

Spencer nodded, "Alex is already changing the sheets, I was just gonna take a piss, but yea, I'll make sure he's done, you need some clothes for Ryan?"

"Yea, I'm getting some of Alex's stuff, and then we get Ryan in bed and comfy, and then we have to go, it's getting late..."

Again, he nodded, "We should probably wait until Ry's parents are back though," I suggested as we walked into Alex's room.

Walking in, I laughed, "We should prolly spray something in here, doubt Ryan wants to smell sex when he can't actually have any..." I bit my lip, "I'm just gonna grab some clothes for him, then wheel him back in so he can sleep," I told Alex more than asked for permission to get his clothes, he seemed preoccupied anyway with fixing the bed, and eye fucking my best friend. I made my way back into the bathroom, "Your parents aren't here yet, but I got you some clothes," I smiled, "How we gonna do this?" I asked as I looked down at him.

I shrugged a little and looked up at him. "You put the legs on as far up as you can get them then get Alex in here to help?" I bit my lip at the suggestion cuz it meant that Alex would either see my bare ass or he'd see everything bare, which didn't bother me at all, but I didn't know if Bren would be okay with that. Alex hadn't actually seen me naked since the night before he left for college, he'd seen me partially naked and he'd been close to seeing me naked, but he hadn't actually seen me yet. I didn't want to upset Bren by Alex coming in and seeing me and him not being okay with it.

"He could hold me up while you pull them the rest of the way up? It would help in getting me clothed and all...but...um...he'd see me, which, I'm okay with and all, but if you're not I'm sure that we can figure out a way to do without another pair of hands. Unless we wait for mom to get back, then mom could help, but that'd just be weird, I don't want my mom seeing me naked..." I looked up at Brendon with a little uncertainty, not sure what he was okay with and what he wasn't. I knew, if I was still in LA with Alex for a few more days, he'd be seeing me naked a lot cuz he'd have to help me get ready, take a bath, get changed...he'd be seeing a lot of me, well, him or my mom, and I still didn't want my mom to see me naked.

"Were they done though? When you went out, were they done and everything?" I glanced over at the door, a little surprised that Alex hadn't already come into the bathroom to see me when there was a knock on the door and Alex's voice.

"Everything okay in there? Do we need to get you guys anything?"

"Babe, Ryan," I kissed his forehead, nuzzling my nose into it, taking in the scent of his washed, clean hair, "Really, it's ok. Alex is going to be seeing a lot more of your nakedness the next few days until you come home, and it's nothing he hasn't seen before," I gave him a genuine smile, "I love you and you love me, so it's ok, really it is!"

Shaking my head, I was about to kiss him when Alex knocked on the door, "Hey, yea, it's ok," I wiggled my eyes at Ryan, "Actually, could you help me get some clothes on Ryan? We need to cover his sweet little ass before he passes out," I teased, leaning to bite down on his shoulder, licking the spot, "If you can hold him up from behind, he can lean on me and I can pull up his pants..."

"Anything I can help with?" Spencer smiled over Alex's shoulder.

I nodded, "Yea, actually, if you could clear a path to the room, I mean, make it so things are wide enough to get through, that would be FABULOUS!" I giggled, shaking my head to annunciate the last word.

Watching Spencer leave, I looked down at Ryan, then up at Alex, "I think this should work, as I see it, Ryan, you grip onto my shoulder for balance and weight, Alex, you pick him up by the arm pits, and I'll balance his cast on my knee, and shimmy the pants up, and there you go!"</font>

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