This is Bullshit (46/60)
Title: This is Bullshit (46/60)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: R/E
Summary: Getting out for lunch and band practice
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon and Spencer, youbrat is Ryan and Alex. Ryan's pov is blue, Alex's is red, Spencer's is green and Bren's is black.

We've decided to set an ending to this story. Our plan is to make it to chapter 60 and then end it. There is a slight chance that the last chapter number could change, but at this point we intend to end it at 60. We are not setting an ending to this because we don't like the story or anything of the sort. We still love this story and it is still very much our love child and we hope you enjoy what we have still in store for you.





I whistled as I made my way up the walk to Ryan's house. We were rained out for the band practice thing I had suggested last weekend, and he brought it up about a million times. I knew he was bored and wanted to get out, and the guys were dying to see him, so I felt bad for the rain messing it all up. I checked that the weather would be ok, not too sunny and not too hot. Hell, what was I thinking, it was summer in Vegas.

Puling the wagon along full of pillows, for his bum of course, and a cooler with these lettuce wrap things my mom made, I set it right out in front of the door, then went to knock. I turned and waved to two little kids selling lemonade down the street, making sure to hold up a finger, signaling that I'd buy some in a few. I smiled as they high fived each other and Ryan's mom answered the door.

We said our hellos, and she mentioned that I knew where to find him. I smiled, making my way to his 'room'. I whistled a new song we had been working on as I went, one we could hopefully master before the Warped Tour, ‘cause it was pretty kick ass. I opened his door and smiled over at him, "Ok! Who's ready for a picnic and a wagon ride?" I asked in my most cheery voice.

Laughing softly, I looked up and over at Brendon as he walked into my room. "A wagon ride? Well, as long as it isn't that horrid wheelchair." I smiled and reached for him, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to kiss him softly. It felt nice to have his lips on mine, and I was sitting up, supported by pillows.

I'd spent the past week on the phone when Brendon wasn't around, either with Alex or with a few of the guys from the internship. I'd also spent several hours calling the people in charge of the internship, trying to work out what I was going to do while I healed and was stuck at home. I'd been dragged to the hospital by my mom for a checkup. The doctor had declared that I could start crutches slowly as long as I paid close attention to how my ribs and body felt. He didn't want me to be too overzealous and hurt myself worse. So, given the new allowances, my mom allowed me an hour on them the first day, which was Friday, and two hours Saturday, leaving me with three hours to go out on them with Brendon to the practice.

"Grab the crutches? I think I can maneuver myself outside with them, I'm just not going all the way to Spence's on them. But, they'll be good enough for making me a little more mobile and independent. You won't have to wait on me hand and foot or anything." I grinned and kissed him again before moving my body slowly so my legs were dangling over the edge of the bed. I'd dressed the best I could with my cast and I had on a pair of shorts that I was shocked had made it over the top at my thigh. My t-shirt was one of my typical snug grey ones, it was light grey which offset the dark grey of the shorts. It worked, at least in my opinion. I was even clean since I'd managed to give myself a sponge bath that morning.

"Eh, eh...” I started, smiling at him, "First, I need to inspect you and make sure you are ready to go out in public with me!" I teased him, walking over and taking his hands in mine; I placed them around my waist and leaned down in front of him. First I lifted an elbow and smelled his underarm, nodding my approval, before I moved to his neck, licking the skin then blowing on it.

"So far so good," I nodded as I ran my hands down his chest, towards his cast. I knew full well that a cast was just nasty, but I sniffed it anyway for good measure, trying to hold in my slight gag, then moved to his crotch. I nuzzled my nose in there, nipping slightly at the fabric that covered it, just enough but not to make it wet, then rubbed my nose along him, "Mmm, perfect..." I let out as I smiled up at him.

Once I got to his face, I sniffed along his jaw, leaving a trail of kisses in my wake, up to his ears, nibbling the left one in my mouth, and running my nose along his hair. Having checked every possible part except his bum, I pulled back and looked him in the eye with an approval, "Perfect, just perfect!" I grinned, pressing my lips to his shortly after.

"Ok!" I stood up, bracing myself, "I'll just carry you, and really, it's up to you to take your crutches, but really, I enjoy babying your every move, it's fun, plus, that way I have a reason to keep my hands all over you," I winked as I maneuvered to pick him up, scooping him in my arms bridal style.

Laughing to myself, I wrapped my arms around him and nestled in against him, holding onto him and leaning in to kiss his neck softly. "I know you like babying me Bren...but you can't baby me forever, I've gotta be able to do some stuff for myself, and that includes moving around some and going off to the bathroom on my own and everything...so yeah...I'm gonna bring them so that if you guys are practicing and all and I need to go to the bathroom, I don't have to interrupt you to get your help."

I smiled at him and reaching up to play with his hair slightly. "So if you're carrying me out, make sure we get the crutches before we go too far." I leaned in and nipped gently at his ear before sighing softly.

"Lex called earlier. He was on his way to bed. The guys were all out at a show last night with My Chem. and were invited to the after party and the after party led them all to be out all night. So it was like nine and he was just getting in. He thought he'd check in and tell me that the guys all said hi to all of us, that they missed me and that...um...the guys from My Chem. said hi and that they hope I get better quickly. I think he was a little tipsy ‘cause he was slurring a little. It was kinda cute...made me miss him all the more though."

Sighing softly, I rested my head against his neck. "He did say to tell all the guys he misses them and that he's still working for you guys there in LA. He's done some work in a studio with My Chem. so he's got some great experience that'll help you guys. And he said hi."

"Let me guess, he said hi!" I teased Ryan as I managed to open the door and carry him out, not having to bother his parents. Placing him in the wagon, I let him get situated, going back inside myself to get the crutches like he asked. Finding a spot for the crutches, I grabbed the handle and started heading off towards Spencer’s. "Sounds like things are running smoothly for him then out there," I smiled at Ryan, knowing he missed it, "And I can't wait to see what he can bring to the table in the studio too. See, we don’t need big names and flashy lights, we have you two to take care of us and lead us to amazingness!" winking at him, I leaned down to kiss him, "The guys will be excited though to hear about his adventures and to hear he is picking up some things, that I know for sure!"

Luckily there were sidewalks the entire way there, so I didn't have to worry about going through peoples yards or anything. And as I promised, when I made it about a half a block down, I reached into my wallet, nearing the kids at the lemonade stand. I smiled at them, raising two fingers up as the little girl started pouring two cups.

"You want ice?" her older brother asked, looking at Ryan suspiciously. I nodded handing them two dollars for their 50 cent drinks and smiled, wishing them luck. Before I could go though the boy still stared at Ryan, "Aren't you a little big to be in a wagon?" he asked innocently as I tried to stifle a laugh. I turned around and looked at Ryan; personally, I thought he looked fucking adorable in it.

I laughed and shrugged a little before wincing and looking over at the neighbor's kid. "Yeah, probably, but there was an accident about two weeks ago and I kinda got my leg broken and my ribs badly bruised and cracked...or were they broken too?" I frowned and looked up at Brendon before shrugging and looking back at the kid. "So I can't really walk, and I can only be on the crutches for so long, and I hate the wheelchair. So...wagon it is I guess."

I shrugged again and took the cup of juice from Brendon and taking a sip of the juice before smiling at the kids again. "It’s good. Maybe if you're still here later when we come back I'll convince Bren to buy me more." I winked at them before waiving at Brendon. "Chauffeur...onward!"

Smirking slightly, I held onto the side of the wagon with one hand, feeling too big for it for sure, but trying to just laugh it off and go along with it. I used my other hand to hold onto the cup of lemonade as Brendon started taking us off toward Spence's again. I glanced over my shoulder at the kids and gave them a nod before looking back at Brendon again.

"Thanks Bren, for the juice. It’s pretty warm out today, I hope those two kids make a lot of money today...if I’d have known they were going to be there I'd hire them to bring me some every hour or so..." I sighed and chewed on my lip. I was distracting myself from continuing the conversation about Alex still in LA. "As for Lex...yeah...I bet he'll make you guys an amazing album when he comes back....or...rather, when he comes to visit..."

Looking over my shoulder at him, I winked, then once we were around the corner, I stopped the wagon, out of the kids view and leaned down to kiss him, "I didn't know you were so good, and goddamn cute," I bit his lip and whispered, "With kids there Ry," I laughed, "Maybe you can come over next time my cousins are around and entertain them for me!"

Walking back to the front of the wagon, I grabbed the handle, "Yea, so, he still going back to New York, I mean, even after spending time with you this summer, and like, Spence and the band? He really wants to be that far away from LA and Vegas where you guys already know there is a scene for what you guys want to do? I mean, you'd think that you guys could still help out throughout the school year and what not, since, you know, you got your foot in the door, hell, I'm sure they would take you back, even just without paying you or what not, like a couple of nights a month or something," I shrugged, slightly winded from saying it all in almost one breath.

I sighed as I looked down at the cup in my hands, completely forgetting about it as I went off on my little speech. Looking down at it to make sure there were no bugs in it, I chugged the lemonade, cursing myself slightly for downing it in the hot sun, and then thinking about what the sourness would do to my throat for practice. Again, I just shrugged it off, crushing the cup in my hand and sticking it in my back pocket until I found a garbage can.

"Honestly, I don't know what he's doing. Last we talked about it he was still going back to New York and there was something special he was doing once there. I think it had to do with a studio in the city somewhere that he was getting a part time job with while going to school. I don't know the details about it or anything though...but that was still his plan when I left LA." I chewed on my lip a little and then sighed softly.

"I'm not sure the summer with me or whatever he started with Spence is enough to get him to decide to move home. His home has always been where ever he wanted it to be. Right now, home is LA. He's never had a great home life here, I'm sure you've noticed. His parents pretty much leave him to his own and have not much of anything to do with him. So other than me, this hasn't really been home. I wouldn't be too surprised if he ended up transferring to LA after this year though. The idea of living with Pete and having all those ins into the music business...even with us here, it'll be hard for him to pass up."

I looked up at Brendon and shrugged a little. "I dealt without him for a year. I had him for a few months. I'll deal without him for another year. The question will just be what happens when school ends this year, if he'll come home to visit or if he'll stay in the city or go to LA...it isn't easy to tell. He'll fit anywhere he goes. He'll find friends, he'll make relationships...he'll have guys wanting to crawl into his bed...I've always known that there’s nothing here in Vegas he can't find somewhere else...I've always known that I can't be the swaying factor in his life. He'll find someone who can do what I can for him, maybe someone who can do it even better in another city. I've learned to live with it actually, even as much as I'll miss him. I just...I hope it doesn't destroy Spence when he doesn't come back to stay."

Wow. I thought to myself. That was kind of harsh. I mean, I know it is Alex and all, and really, it was the truth, I was just glad that Spencer wasn't around to hear it. Spencer doesn't talk about Alex that much, but I know that when he wasn't paying attention, or he was staring off in space with a smile on his face that he was thinking about him. Spencer was a smart guy though, and I'm sure he isn't a pansy like me and he would just come straight out and ask Alex what was up. Hell, they might even have already talked about and here I was making a fuss over it myself and he is already cool with it.

"Yea, Alex is Alex," I smiled, glancing over me shoulder to smile at Ryan, "Is it selfish to say that I am glad you are here in Vegas, I mean, not for the summer, now, but like, that you are going to school here, I mean, if you were to go away to college in some other state would you have even tried to start a relationship with me?" I asked as we neared the park we were going to stop and eat at, Spencer's house about three blocks away, but my watch told us we still had a good hour before practice started.

I pulled the wagon under the shade some, and brought Ryan over to a picnic table. Scooping him up, with his help, I sat him up on the table part, so he could let his leg dangle, "I know you aren’t as hard-ass as Alex seems to be," I continued the conversation as I grabbed the cooler, emptying the contents on the table between us as I too sat up next to him, handing him a lettuce wrap and a napkin.

"But, you seem like the type that, well, correct me if I am wrong, would chose love of life sometimes, I mean, if you would have gotten that internship and you would have had to do it alone, would you have gone? Or would you have stayed in Vegas with me and Alex. Like, could you just venture into a big city by yourself knowing no one, or are you like me, you need someone to be there, not only for emotional support but physically?" I took a bite of my lettuce wrap, Italian dressing squishing out the bottom and onto the napkin on my lap, but not after drooling down my chin.

I chuckled softly as he made a mess of himself and reached out to wipe away some of it on his chin. "Honestly? I'm not sure. If Alex wasn't in on the internship, I'm not sure I could have left Vegas for the summer to do it on my own. I mean, I kinda did that with college, except that it was my hometown and everything, so it wasn't like I was really out of my element or anything." Sighing softly, I played with my lettuce wrap before taking a bite of it.

"As for us and getting in a relationship if I were going to another state...I don't know. I probably wouldn't have. I mean, if I were going to school in another state we probably wouldn't have met anyway since you met me because of me being at the school I was at. So we probably never would have met. But, if I was doing my first year here and then transferring for my second year, no, I doubt I would have kept it pretty distant...I mean a summer fling? Probably wouldn't have been a good idea."

"But, I go to school here anyway...so it isn't an issue." I smiled at him and reached out to touch his hand softly. "So don't worry about it too much, okay?" Leaning in, I pressed a quick kiss to his lips before murmuring. "I'm yours, so don't worry about that aspect of it, okay?" I smiled again and then took a bite of my lettuce wrap. "Mmm…this is good. Did you make it or your mom?"

I glanced around the park a little, just enjoying being outside because I really hadn't been out since I'd been home. I was missing LA and missing Alex and everything with the internship, but I had my boyfriend, we'd only stayed in my bedroom and bed, watching TV, talking, watching movies and making out occasionally. We hadn't gotten too hot and heavy with the making out, but we still made out and had fun. I loved being with Bren, and I was so glad being outside with him, even if we were in the shade and just eating and relaxing. And talking.

"Yea," I nodded, taking a napkin and wiping my face again, not that Ryan had germs or anything, just that, well, I had shit on my chin, "I understand, that is true, like, we shouldn't worry about that at all, so you know, I am very glad and fortunate that you stayed in college in Vegas, that's what did bring us together, so yea."

Thinking back, I started giggling, "You know, just that phone call, and all the events that led up to now. It's kinda funny and surreal how I made such a big deal out of things, like how I stressed over the slightest things, or got pissed off and jealous and what not, I mean, in the scheme of our relationship, with you here, right now, that, well in the words of Beckett, 'Don't mean shit to me,' and," I blushed, "I was even thinking the other day at work the first time we had sex. I mean, wow, I went all out just for, well, you know what happened..."

I leaned over and kissed him after taking another bite, changing the subject momentarily, "Yea. mom made them, but really, I mean, if I had know back then that we would be here right where we are at now, I definitely wouldn't have stressed over it," I bit my lip, "I dunno, I mean," taking a carrot out of the bag between us, I popped one in my mouth, crunching it quickly, then offered him one, "These past few weeks, and, well, the wreck and everything have been the biggest wake up call. It just made me realize, and I don't know, grow up and face the reality that life is a bitch, so what's the point of sitting around and dwelling on it?"

Shrugging, I ate another carrot before finishing off my lettuce wrap and staring at two guys throwing a Frisbee, "It's sad how such an awful turn of events can make you wake up one day and just realize everything around you that you had taken for granted," I nodded over to Ryan, placing my hand on his thigh, smiling.

Nodding, I put the lettuce wrap down and put my hand over his. "They pretty much always say that accidents and things put everything into perspective for people. I don't know that I can say that it really did that for me. I mean it did...and it didn't...I know my priorities and what’s important to me and everything. I mean, family, friends, all that are still top on my list. But I can't say that I had some sudden revelation and the whole world falling into place. Other than a bit of fear and a lot of confusion, I don't know that I really brought a ton more out of this accident."

I shrugged a little and wound my fingers around Bren's. "I have a change in part of my life too, because now I'm here as opposed to LA. Things have changed, yeah...but I dunno...maybe I was already too aware of not stressing or whatever. I don't know for sure." Shrugging again, I leaned over and kissed him softly and gently. "I love you Bren. I don’t take you for granted, I never have, and I hope I never will. I don't intend to take our time together for granted either. I'm sorry if all I do is complain that I miss LA and Alex."

Looking down at our hands, I played with his fingers gently as I just looked at them. I wasn't sure what more to say. It was the truth. I didn't mean to miss LA and Alex as much as I did, but I couldn't help it. You get your best friend, who had been there your whole life but had been gone for a full year, handed back, living with them for far too short of a time, and then get separated again. I bet anyone would miss them and want them back. Not that I'd really lost him, but still, I missed him but knew he couldn't get to Vegas because he had LA things he had to do. And of course the label was short a person which meant the rest of the guys would probably have to take up some of the slack.

I looked up at him again and murmured. "I really am sorry Bren. I'm sure you're getting really sick and tired of hearing me talk about LA and Lex and moping about it too."

I looked over at him, sighing and smiling with my cheeks. I didn't know what to say. One thing, yes, he did talk about LA and Alex a lot, but that is because he was missing it. I just wished I could help him not miss it. I mean, I felt like I wasn't good enough to help him forget about it for even the slightest minute. And, well, actually, I know how he feels, because I felt the same way towards him when he left. I was sure he was all I talked about to anyone that would listen.

"No, Ry, it's ok. It's good for you to get it out and let it out. I know you miss LA and I know you miss Alex. It's inevitable and I understand that," I bit my lip, glancing up at the sun, while squinting, "I just wish that I could help you. I mean, I wish there was something I could do if not for just one day to take your mind off it. Like, I know that when you were gone, you missed me, but there were times when you didn't because you were busy, so, I doubt you being confined to a chair or bed is helping matters."

"And that's why I brought you out here today. Not just to be with me, and see the band, but to get some fresh air and see that the world is still going on around you. And Vegas still loves you and I still love you and the band still cares about you and needs you. I mean, I know you know this," I curled my hand into his more, "I just want you to feel it. So, let's make a promise, from here until we get to practice and they bombard you with a million questions that we don't talk about it. Not that I want to make you not talk about what you want, but that I just, well, want that frown and glassy look that comes over your face when you think about it to disappear, and to see that sexy smile that I fall in love with every time I see it to shine."

I smiled softly and pulled Brendon's lips to mine in a slow and tender kiss. "Okay, I'll try, I promise I will. It’s hard not to think about it though...but I can try not to bring it up at least. Just because you asked so nicely." I grinned and leaned forward just enough to rest my head on his shoulder. "It’s really pretty out here though. Much better than being cooped up in my pseudo bedroom. The fresh air is good...I haven't had any for a little while...since I came home I think, actually."

Leaning back again, I reached over to pick up the lettuce wrap that I'd discarded in favor of talking. I picked it up and took another bite before returning my attention back to Brendon, swallowing before saying anything. "Your mom really is good at making these. I've never had them before now, not homemade at least, but I really like it and I think I should come over and eat at your house more often if she'll make things like this."

I chuckled because I knew my mom would be slightly offended if I chose to go to Bren's house on a regular basis to eat, but I also knew that I wouldn't really because I loved my mom's cooking too. Both our moms were good in the kitchen, which, when I thought about it, was a really good thing because that meant we were unlikely to pretty much ever have to worry about going hungry because one of them could take care of us or cook for us. Hell, I knew how much mom liked making dinner for me those days that I'd go home for dinner while I was in college. I could only imagine that Bren's mom would be much the same and perhaps that they'd even be fighting over which mom could make us dinner which night. The thought made me smile as I finished up the lettuce wrap and licked my fingers clean.

"What else do you have planned for us today?"

I couldn't help but smile as I watched Ryan. He seemed to be having his own little conversation in his head. Kind of like Joey on Friends when he would have a talk over and act out what he was thinking. Why I just compared my boyfriend to Joey, I would never know, but even so, it worked.

"There it is..." I winked at him as he grinned at himself, "That's what I've been missing!" leaning over, I reached in and nipped at his cheek, then licked my lips while wiping my hands on my pants, "Well, I'm stuffed, I don't know about you, and I mentioned something to the guys about a picnic, so they'll make me sing Ashlee Simpson or something for vocal warm-ups if I don't bring them anything," glancing at the food, there seemed to be plenty leftovers for them, and even some more if Ry wanted to snack along the way.

"Oh, and as for today, my mom wants me to check out this lady she works with yard sale up the street," I pointed and nodded in the general direction, "She went to a Christmas party there once and was jealous of her dresser or something, so since she is moving, she wants to know if she is getting rid of it, so, I like have to call her or something, I dunno," I shrugged, starting to clean up the mess between us.

"Other than that, it's just me and you and four wheels and band practice...unless you have something else you want to do?" I tilted my head to the side, as I walked towards him, standing between his legs, running my hand through his hair and resting it against his cheek.

Shrugging slightly, I shook my head and turned to kiss his hand softly. "No, nothing else I can really think of at least. I think, mostly, I want to be outside today. It’s really nice out, even for Vegas, and since I haven't really been outside for anything in a long time, I really think being outside is such a good idea. Besides, maybe this pasty white skin might get a little bit of color without getting too much."

I grinned as I ran my hand up Brendon's arm a little, resting it toward the top of his forearm. I loved when he was with me, I couldn't deny it, it was soothing and relaxing, but in a different way than when Alex was there. Which would make sense, at least to me, your best friend and your boyfriend should have some difference in feeling. And they did, but still, I enjoyed both of their company, though there were times I wanted Bren around more than Alex and times I wanted Alex around more than Bren, only, I wasn't going to admit that to either one of them.

"Let’s do all we can to make sure they don't make you sing Ashlee Simpson, that would just be...well, honestly, disturbing. I think you should keep to everything and anything that doesn't have 'Hollywood Skank' stamped on it. Well, maybe not everything but close enough I guess. At least avoid her, because seriously...um...no. If you sing ‘Asslee’ I might just have to break up with you."

I grinned softly and looked to see if there was anything that I could do to help clean up, but I didn't really see much of anything. "Anything I can do Bren? Or are we ready to go?"

"’Asslee’, huh?" I turned and laughed at him, "She isn't that bad, really, I just, well, can't sing like her, or" I twisted to come face to face with him, "Would that be I can't lip-sync like her?" tilting my head, I tapped my fingers to my closed mouth for a moment before shrugging, "Nope," I looked around, "I am pretty much done!"

Stepping back to situate everything in the wagon, I glanced down at my watch once it was ready, "And that makes it a little while before practice, and a few extra minutes to do, hmm," I tapped my lips again, "Whatever would I want to do with my sexy-sex boyfriend in the middle of a park with a nice breeze blowing?" winking at him, I positioned myself between his legs again, running my wands back along his bum, and squeezing.

"Kissing sounds, um, good, don't you think?" I grinned before letting him answer and placed my lips against his. My nose rubbed against this as I grabbed more at his bum, pushing him forward slightly so I wouldn't have to lean so far to touch his chest against mine. Pulling back I smiled, "Yes, kissing sounds quite amazing!" I pecked his lips, "And tastes amazing," I nibbled his lip, "And feels amazing..."

Giggling softly against Brendon, I wound my arms around his neck and held onto him, tilting my head up and pressing a soft kiss against his lips. "I just can't date someone who is all about here. So please, no. That’s just utterly repulsive to me. I don't think she really has talent. Not to mention she irritates the shit out of me. And then there’s the whole thing with Pete...which, in reality is something she set up and for some reason he hasn't tried to stop it from happening and has gone with it instead. I think it had something to do with who she's really seeing, but still, she never should have dug her claws into him like that."

I stopped and blushed. I apparently knew too much about the celebrity drama going on in parts of LA, which included Pete and Ashlee. I wasn't exactly ashamed of this, but that didn't mean I was exactly proud of it either. I looked down and then laughed softly and shook my head before tilting my head up again and pressing my lips to Brendon's. "Sorry. I get started and sometimes I can't stop...I know too much of his life I think."

My fingers tugged gently on the hair at the nape of Brendon's neck and I smiled softly, sighing and murmuring. "Okay, no more talking about celebrity gossip. Because living in LA I got far too plugged into it and I found it far too addictive." I grinned and murmured. "I think you're going to need to distract me Bren. I'm not sure how you will ever figure out how you're going to do that...but I think you must all the same." I licked my lips softly and quirked an eyebrow at him.

Placing my hands on my hips, I shook my head at Ryan, "So, really I want to make out and you want to talk about some skank? Seriously..." I laughed, "But, if you talk about talent, half the people in LA or any city in the world for that matter don't have any, it's all about the way they are represented. It's sad, really, but that's why we need you and Alex, so represent us for real!"

I nodded, placing my hands back down on his legs, "Ok, subject change, let's go see about that yard sale, what do you say, or..." I winked at him again, "What do you say we forget the yard sale, but we get you on those crutches" I used my thumb, not that I needed to point them out, but, what? I talked with my hands, "And we take a leisurely stroll around the path, it's like a fourth of a mile, tops. But then you can stretch some, and it's mostly shaded!"

Grinning my best at him so he would agree, I held out my hands for him to see if he wanted to slide down on the lower bench, or if it would be easier to just get the crutches and go. I was fully aware that he would get a ton of attention from the people at the park, not that he was much on attention, but he needed to see that even strangers sympathized and cared about him. Not nearly as much as I did, but even so.

I chuckled and shook my head. "And now here I am, suggesting you distract me with that mouth of yours and you're talking about going for a walk or going to a yard sale? Honestly, Bren, do you not realize what I was hinting at?" I chuckled and leaned in to kiss him again softly. "Take a hint Bren. When I ask to be distracted, it means you should put your lips against mine and distract me from thoughts...you know...kiss me until I can't form sentences anymore."

Quirking my eyebrow at him again, I kept my eyes on his, just sitting there and looking at him, wondering what he would make of me being that forward about it. My mind was distracted, as it pretty much always was. I could pretty much never turn my mind off, it was virtually impossible for me to just turn my mind off. Even when making out, or even during sex. Although, usually when we were having sex my mind was going on about the sex, or at least, that’s what I thought.

I tugged rather gently on his hair before twirling a lock of it around my fingers. I kept my eyes open and on his and just left myself open to him, waiting for him to make a move. Sure, exercise was probably a good thing and I probably should have willingly gone and the crutches and all, but I was definitely not feeling all that up to it at that moment. I was feeling just slightly lazy.

My eyes got big as he talked, "Um, ok, I was...I..." I blushed as I looked at him, pleading with my eyes that I was sorry and I was not a complete idiot. At least I didn't think I was a complete idiot. Well, not all the time, but that was beside the point, really, I did believe it was.

Moving to kneel on the bench part of the picnic table, I pulled his body closer to mine, "So sometimes I'm slightly dense, isn't that why I called you in the first place?" I asked, smiling at him before leaning to kiss him. I loved his kisses. Even the slightest touch sent shock waves through my body. Just the feel of his lips against mine, which, really, in all reality was slightly weird. Not so much Ryan's lips against him, but lips in general. I mean, whose idea was it that lip-locking is a sign of affection? You think the cavemen decided that?

My mind was distracted until I felt his tongue slip across my lips. And well, what was I thinking about before? Without any shame, I moaned into the kiss. Yes, I was fully aware that we were at a busy park in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday, but if anyone had a complaint about it, I would tell them to kiss Ryan and see if they didn't get the same pleasure. Well, with Ryan's consent of course.

I held onto Brendon, the lock of hair still wrapped around my finger as I wrapped my other arm more firmly around his neck. I made a soft, small sound in the back of my throat as the kiss opened up into more, turned from purely lip to deeper. Yep, I was right, distraction in the form of being kissed, being loved, was the best kind of distraction ever. Why should I care that we were out in public? It wasn't like Vegas was the most innocent of cities anyway. Hookers could work the corners, why not two boys, in love, kissing in a park?

I tugged gently on Brendon's lower lip and pulled back after several minutes to catch my breath. I didn't want to make us late for practice, but at the same time I didn't really want to lose the moment we'd found ourselves in. A beautiful day filled with sun and bird song, not to mention incredible lips and a body that was all mine and mine alone. It made things that much brighter and that much better.

I licked my lips and opened my eyes slightly after pulling away. My breathing was a little heavy, but I didn't really care. My ribs didn't even really hurt that much, just a dull ache and I just kinda brushed it off. "Mmmm..." My eyes flicked up to his and my lips curled into a small smirk like smile. "Do that again Bren."

When he pulled back, I still had my mouth open and my eyes closed until he spoke. Peeking out of my left eye, I just simply nodded as I wrapped my hand around his neck, pulling him into me while moving my body closer to his. It had been so long since he touched me. Too long in my eyes. And yes, he touched me, but I didn't feel right with having him get me off when we were alone if he wasn't in the right physical mode to do the same.

I have spent many nights and showers jerking off. I just hoped that this simple touch didn't get me worked up again, Lord knows the only sort of restrooms they have around here are nasty ass porta-jons and I will not be jerking off in one of those things, especially since innocent bystanders can hear every once of movement that goes on in those things.

Turning my attention back to the kiss, I nipped at his lip, then ran my tongue along his teeth. He always tasted so clean, even after we ate he still had a hint of mint in there somewhere. That amazed me. Hell, as a kid with braces, I brushed my teeth like five times a day, and I still didn't taste mint...

I pulled back pecking him again before opening my eyes, "Better?"

Nodding, I smiled a little and let my head fall slightly into the curve of his neck. I held him close against me and just stayed pressed close against him. I yawned a little. Being up and about when you hadn't been up and about in a while was tiring and I couldn’t help but yawn a little while I was pressed against him. "Mmm...much."

Sighing quietly to myself, I pulled back just a little to look up at him with a small, almost tired and shy smile. "Much better, Bren." I nodded a little and then stretched just slightly. "So, at the band practice, do I get a comfy chair to sit in while I watch you? Should I expect to be attacked by the guys? Can I use Spence for a pillow if I get sleepy and you as my blanket?"

I smirked softly at him and gave him a wink. "Or would you rather be my pillow and blanket? Though I'm really not sure how well that'll go over...I'm not sure you can wrap around me quite that much." My face screwed up slightly as I thought about that concept before giving a little shrug and looking back up at Brendon. "I dunno, I think we can work that out a little later perhaps. But...when do we have to be at practice? I don't want to make you late or anything...and I think we should get there a few minutes early so that we don't disrupt the actual practice and just the time before it if you really think the guys are gonna pretty much attack me."

I tilted my head forward and gave him another soft kiss to his lips before pulling back again. "Thank you for lunch and this trip to the park. And thank you for getting me out of the house."

I kissed him back for a few moments, then stepped back and kissed him again. After I was done kissing him, I leaned in and placed my lips on his for a final time, pecking them sharply before I stepped back for good. Grinning at him, I untangled my arms from his waist and pulled back to stretch. It was an odd angle for me, but perfect nonetheless.

"I'm not sure what the guys will do to you besides a ton of questions, I know that for sure, but other than that, I dunno. I'm sure Spencer will bend over backwards for you that's a given. He’s all Miss Homemaker or something when it comes to a friend in need, not that you are in need," I twisted my lips and reached out to help him, "Here if I get your crutches you want to walk a little? Spence's place is nearby, so you can until you get tired..."

I walked over to get the crutches, nodding to a guy I went to school with that shouted my name. He asked something about the Warped Tour and I nodded again, making my way back over to Ryan as I heard him yell something about seeing us there. "Right," I mumbled more to myself then anything, "Like you would have given us the time of day when we were in school," I looked at Ryan and shook my head, "People are so fucking...GRRR!" I laughed at my inability for form words, "Anyway, you are welcome Love," I smiled, "I love you so I'd do anything for you to make you happy and take care of you!"

I nodded and reached up to slide my fingers through Brendon's hair. "I love you too Bren. And I'm glad you want to take care of me, but you don't have to always." I kissed him softly before leaning back. "And ignore him. You're going to get a lot of people walking up to you or recognizing you or acknowledging you the bigger you guys get. So it’s going to happen for a while and a lot. You can't let them get to you, okay?"

I smiled up at him before nodding slightly. "I can try and walk for a little. Not sure how far I'll get on the crutches though...but I'll try for a little bit. You just might have to pull me again for a while. I can't do too much...or maybe I just don't want to. Either way I don't wanna be miserable through practice. So I'll go as long as I can before I know I need to rest."

Reaching out, I took the crutches from Brendon and maneuvered myself to the edge of the table and situated the crutches. I slipped off the edge and put my weight on my leg and the crutches before looking back up at Brendon. "Okay, I think I'm good to go..." I smiled slightly at him before starting to move slowly for the sidewalk, knowing he'd catch up with me shortly with the wagon.

I smiled at him, like he was Bambi walking for the first time or something. I watched him walk for a little bit before my eyes focused on his bum, then I looked around like I was caught or something and readjusted myself before picking up the handle and following him. The wagon made an annoying squeaking noise without anyone in it, I kicked the tire and it ceased until I hit a bump on the sidewalk and it started up again.

Groaning, I made my way up to Ryan and offered him a smile, "I know, you take your time, and don't worry, if you feel like you wanna rest, you'll just hop back in here," I pointed to the wagon. "This is just me not taking care of you, but you taking care of yourself," I smiled at him as I kicked the tire from the back again, shaking my head. It was hot, and making out makes me thirsty, so I reached in the cooler as we walked and grabbed a wattle bottle that I had frozen the night before and let the heat melt throughout our walk.

There was a good amount of water that had melted, so I took a gulp as we walked through a long stretch of sidewalk that had no shade. With the sun beating down on us, it only made it feel hotter. At least it wasn't humid. Looking over at Ryan, I saw some sweat pooling on his hair line as I offered him a drink, "This tastes fabulous and hits the spot, you want some?" I smiled, wanting to kiss him, but not sure about body contact in the heat. Maybe walking the whole way wasn't the best idea, but it hadn’t seemed too hot before we ate...

Glancing over at Brendon, I nodded as I came to a stop. It took more out of me than I thought just going that short distance on the crutches. "Yeah, please." I smiled at him as I supported myself on the crutches and held my hand out to take the bottle. I took a drink, just letting the cool liquid slide down my throat and I closed my eyes as I could feel it make its way into my stomach. "Mmm...That is good. Thanks."

Biting my lip, I handed the bottle back to him while I repositioned my hands on the crutches. I wanted to just crawl back into the wagon and let Brendon pull me along so I wouldn't have to do it myself, but that would be like admitting defeat and giving up on myself. Just as I was about to start walking again my cell phone went off in my pocket and I sighed, thankful that I didn't have to start moving quite yet. I pulled out my phone and grinned as I saw Alex's face blazoned across the small screen.

Looking up at Brendon I grinned as I answered the phone. "Alex! What’s up? Missing me too much yet? Coming home soon to visit me and the guys? Did they kick your ass out of the internship because you can't keep yourself under control without me?" I laughed at his response before answering his questions in turn. "We're on our way over to practice to see the guys right now and so I can hear them and the work they've been doing. Maybe I'll call you while we're there so you can hear it yourself. Yes I'm taking care of myself. Mom, dad and Bren are taking care of me too. No, there’s nothing you have to worry about, Lex. I promise. We're doing good. I'm glad you miss me though...I miss you too."

I smiled over at Ryan as he talked to Alex. I loved seeing him so excited. Ok, fuck, let's face it, I just loved seeing him, but that was beside the point. I knew the phone call would put a damper on the walking, and I glanced at my phone to see that we were about a half an hour away from practice. Walking over to him, I made sure he could stand while I took the left crutch out of his arm, and swung my hand around his waist, letting him lean on me, I pulled the other one out and nodded towards the wagon.

I believed he caught my drift as he continued to talk while we made our way over to the wagon, and I helped him down in it with ease as he still chatted. I tried not so disrupt the conversation as I pulled up his left leg and placed it on the pillow I supplied and winked at him once he was situated. Before I grabbed the handle, I shouted, "HI ALEX!" into the phone, interrupting the conversation for a moment then wiggled my eyes and went to the front of the wagon.

Smiling at myself, I picked up the crutches and placed them out of the way as I grabbed the handle and started to walk towards Spencer's house. As I walked, I began doing my vocal warm ups, which could be compared to a cat in heat, but I had to get them out of the way. Once my throat was cleared and opened, I started to sing. Singing a Boys Like Girls song, I used my freehand to tap my leg as I walked, making sure to keep it low so I wouldn't bother the conversation or the pedestrians.

I relaxed as best as I could in the wagon once Bren got me situated and smiled as I heard him warming up for practice. Alex made a couple comments about his singing and then told me everything that was going on down in LA. I was glad he was keeping me up to date on everything, but it didn't help me to stop missing being there, if anything it made me want to be there even more. I sighed softly as I listened to him. He gave me some bad news and some good news, the bad news being that he wasn't going to be able to come home soon, the good news that Pete had talked to him about helping Patrick produce a song for one of his new bands. I told him congratulations before he told me he had to go but he wanted to call and check up on me.

I said goodbye to him and we both hung up. I looked down at my phone before looking up and seeing we were just about at Spence's house. "Bren?" I looked up at him. There were trees on this sidewalk and he stopped in the shade. I was hurting a little, not physically, but I really had thought Alex would make a point of coming home as soon as he could and now he told me he wasn't coming home. I was honestly starting to wonder if he was happier without me there and if he'd even want to come home at all. My mind was racing ahead of me and it already had him living in LA full time and finishing school there and never returning to Vegas. There wasn't much in Vegas for him anymore anyway, not really, just me and the guys, what’s that compared to LA and all the bands, and Pete?

Bren came back to me, I'm sure he saw the expression on my face, and I pulled him down into a hug and curled up against his chest as best as I could. "He's not coming home soon."

I closed my eyes as I hugged him, not being able to look at him. He looked like a sad puppy, and I couldn't handle it. It made me hurt and swell inside, so I could only imagine what it was doing to him. I ran my hands through his hair as I moved down more to him, trying to balance the wagon so I didn't tip it.

"Babe," I started, "I'm so sorry, really I am..." was all I could say. I was sure I could come up with about fifty excused why, but I knew right now that Ryan didn't need excuses, he needed love. I continued to rub his back and allow him to curl into me as I also played with his hair, mumbling my apologies, even though we were both aware that it was out of either of our controls.

I sighed as I pulled back, making sure my beautiful boyfriend had not shed a tear, running my hands to his face, I looked in his eyes and tried to speak through them since I was at lack of words, "I am sorry, I know how much you miss him and you need him and you need to see him. And I know it must be hurting you inside, but if it's any consolation, I am here. And I can be here. I mean, all you have to do is call if I am not there for you at that time," I smiled down at him, "I love you, just, try not to hold it all in, ok, talk to me, don't let it boil up inside you, I want to hear about it, ok?"

I nodded a little and sighed softly, glancing down at my closed cell phone in my lap before looking up at him, a small smile on my lips. "I love you too Bren. I'm sorry I'm so upset about Alex not coming home...its just...after the accident and me coming home and all...I would have thought he'd actually want to see me and try to come home. It just...it sounded like...like he hadn't really even tried to get time away and come home. It isn't even that hard."

Shaking my head I closed my eyes and took a breath. "I'll stop now, I promise. I just really wish he were coming home. I miss him, that’s all. I mean...imagine it being you and Spence, living together, for a couple months, only to have something beyond your control pull you apart, four hours apart. And then, on top of that, he doesn't come see you for a few weeks. I know you'd feel the way I do..." I bit my lip and shook my head again, pulling Brendon's lips against mine gently before resting my forehead into the curve of his neck.

"I'll try to forget about it. I really will." My voice was a murmured softness. "At least for today. I'll yell at him later about it until he comes home and sees me. Sees us." I kissed his neck softly before pulling back and looking up at my boyfriend. "We should get to practice...they might be waiting for us."

I pulled back and let out a short huff, "Sure, cause I'm a dick and I'll just be like," I placed my hand on my hip to imitate my fake mood, "'Get the hell over it and let's just have fun!'" I looked down at Ryan, cupping his chin for our eyes to meet, "Really Ryan, you have every right to be upset, and you have more than every right to verbalize it," I leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips before squatting next to him.

Once I was eye level, I sighed and smiled at him, "That is pretty shitty. That really is. And if I had it in me, I would hop on my plane and in my car and go bring him here or kick his ass or something," I stared into Ryan's eyes, "Ok, so maybe not that harsh, but I'd take a picture of you right now and show it to him so he can see what he is doing to you. But, really, there has to be a reason...I mean, maybe he has a lot of stuff to do or catch up on, and like, well, since you aren't there, you know how Alex is, he's probably trying to pick up what would have been your job and his job too, and maybe he doesn't have the pride to tell someone that he honestly can't do it, let alone the pride to tell you that he can't do it without you there..."

Smiling at him, I ran my hand from his shoulder then lightly down his arm, "It's just a suggestion, but to say that he doesn't want to see you, Ryan, you know that is complete bullshit. So, yes, you should just try and enjoy today and hopefully Alex will call later and let you know what's up, and fill you in...cause it didn't seem like you got a long time to talk, maybe later you can, or something," I shrugged at him, my watch beeping to signal the one o'clock hour, "But, we do need to be getting to practice," I kissed him once more, then on the nose, "Can we talk about this on the way home?"

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