This Is Bullshit (56/60)
Title: This is Bullshit (56/60)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: R/E
Summary: Saying goodbye to LA
Disclaimer: If this is real and they've actually done this then Alex is my boyfriend and we're getting married tomorrow.

Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon and Spencer, youbrat is Ryan and Alex. Ryan's pov is blue, Alex's is red, Spencer's is green and Bren's is black.

We've decided to set an ending to this story. Our plan is to make it to chapter 60 and then end it. We are not setting an ending to this because we don't like the story or anything of the sort. We still love this story and it is still very much our love child and we hope you enjoy what we have still in store for you.





I had never woken up more relaxed in my entire life. It was nice to be up and have nothing to do all day but hang out. Of course, we still had to pack and clean the apartment, but even so, that could wait until later. I was woken by the sun coming in the room, not an alarm clock. And that was one thing that brought a smile to my face, the other was the mess of brown hair and long slender form that hung loosely around my body.

We got in pretty late from the party last night. For not being a part of the internship, the people there made me and Spencer and the other interns significant others feel right at home. It was good to see the guys I had met weeks ago again, and we all had fun chatting and laughing and just hanging out. We didn't drink, since the party was hosted by people who knew most of the interns were in college, and they seemed to keep an eye on us. But either way, I think all four of us left happy and enjoyed ourselves.

Once we got home, I helped Ryan straight to bed, since he even fell asleep in the car on the short ride from the party to the apartment. And here we were now. I had no clue what time it was, and I really didn't care. I pressed my lips to Ryan's forehead pulling him closer and watching him sleep. I sighed contently, running my hand through his hair as he stirred awake. "Morning sleepy head." I grinned to him, leaning over to give him a kiss on the lips.

Reaching around him, I brought his naked body closer to mine as the air conditioning kicked in. "Did you have a good time last night?" I kept my voice low, almost afraid of what it would sound like from the amount of sleep I got.

I nodded a little and pressed closer to the body of my boyfriend as I was still waking up. My face burrowed a little into his body and my hand moved up a little to rest against the base of his neck. My eyes slipped closed again and I sighed softly, having absolutely no desire to get up and pack up my room and all the stuff I hadn't brought home with me when they sent me home after the accident. I figured it'd be a million times more fun to just stay in bed all day and forget about packing until I was forced to.

Moving a little closer to Brendon I yawned as my body stretched and curved some. "Mmmm...it was fun. I love seeing the guys and getting to have parties with them. I'm surprised they didn't have more parties this week while we were here. Although I guess we were busy with shows and work and stuff so it isn't that big of a surprise that they didn't."

My fingers moving a little along Brendon's skin and I sighed softly in content. "How about you though? Did you have fun with everyone and meeting the guys from the bands that were there?" I bit my lip and opened my eyes a little, looking up at Brendon. "Including Pete?"

I still didn't know how to deal with the whole Pete issue with Brendon. He adored the rest of the guys in the band but Pete was a sticking point and I had the feeling would always be an issue as long as he was a part of my life. The thing was, the way Pete and I left things made it feel like he'd be in my life for a long time, so I hoped Bren could deal with that because I didn't want to be made to choose one or the other. Pete was career, Bren was personal, choosing between the two would be like choosing between two dreams and two sides of my personality.

Turning my head, I kissed his wrist that was around my neck and smiled. "I had a good time. I love seeing you with people. I love to just stand back and watch you talk." Grinning at the memory, I moved a little lower to have his body more symmetrical to mine, his face now almost mirroring my own. "When you talk to people, you get this wide look in your eyes, like you are really listening, and it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

I walked my fingers along his ribs resting at his hip. "And when people interrupt your conversation you are having, you like, turn your head ultra slow, and I don't know, it's just so cute for some reason." I laughed. "The way you interact is so sexy. And I think that is why people like you so much, and you have made so many friends here. Cause, I remember you telling me when we first met that you didn't have or make many in college, and with Alex by your side, you two together look so happy and approachable. And just the way you hold yourself around him, like you are the most important person in the room."

Moving my head a few inches, I tilted my lips to meet Ryan's then pulled back after sucking in his bottom lip. "And you are the most important person in every room you enter." I smiled, pecking his lips. Sighing, I let my forehead melt with my boyfriend's. "And Pete was ok. You know that. There is not much to say about him, really. I mean, like everyone tells me and I have learned, Pete is Pete." I laughed, my thumb tracing Ryan's hipbone.

"Are you excited about the new place? I mean, I know you aren't ready to leave here, but you will have Alex and a new apartment and new classes and the cast off soon, and well, you have me!" I grinned, still keeping my voice just above a whisper. There was no need to yell, Ryan was so close, he could hear me just fine.

Reaching up, I ran my fingers through Brendon's hair, my eyes following my hand and my fingers for a few moments. It was true, all of it was, well, except for the whole being the most important person in every room, but I meant the rest of it, Pete being Pete and the new place and Alex and everything. My eyes focused back on Brendon's and I smiled softly at him.

"You flatter me all the time, Bren. You should stop doing that or my head might get too big for my life or something." I leaned in and kissed him gently, just letting it all flow, but keeping gentle and innocent, well, as innocent as he and I could be. I pulled back after a few moments and looked up into his eyes. "Yes, Pete is Pete, but he happens to be a friend and he also happens to be someone to keep on our good side if we want his help to get you guys what you need and then to eventually get signed. And I like him...I just wish you could too."

I shrugged a little and pressed in closer to my boyfriend. "As for the new place? Yeah, I'm very stoked for it. I actually can't wait to be out of my parent's house and on my own. I mean, I know they'll be there to help support me when and if I need it, but I'll be independent...for the most part at least. I'll have Alex there and all, but it'll be totally ours. We can paint it however we want, decorate however we want and furnish it however we want. Mom and dad gave me a bunch of stuff to furnish it so far and said we can work our way through by substituting things that fit us better. So yea, I can't wait for it to be perfectly ours. And we don't have to move out at the end of the year because it's ours!"

I grinned up at him. "I never thought I'd basically own a house while still in college though. Okay, so I didn't pay for it, my parents did, but they bought it for me, its mine and Alex's and we'll split whatever the revenue is from it." I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows a little. "It's just completely amazing that all this is happening...I just...I never expected all this."

"I only do it because I love you and admire you so much. Plus your head." I smiled, throwing up the sheet to look down between us. "Is just fine!" I grinned, letting the blankets fall down on us softly. I shivered from the gust of wind, pulling Ryan even closer. "I know Pete is your friend. And I respect that. I am not a dick to him, I am nice. I know how much he means to you." Rubbing my nose against his, I hummed.

Looking up, my thumb pressed into the groove of his hip. "Yes, it is exciting. I could never imagine it if I had my own place. I figured I could hang out at your dorm when I needed to get out of the house. I wanted to live in the dorm, but my parents said it was a waste of money and all that shit. But now. Now all I have to do is call, and hopefully you will let me come over." I teased.

"Alex seems excited too, which is good. And so does Spencer, even though he is a while away, but not really even, I mean, like what 45 minutes in bad traffic. I'm sure his parent's will love him doing that commute often." Laughing again, I wrapped my arms around Ryan, nuzzling into his neck. "Those two are the greatest, you know. Like, not many people have friends like them."

Pulling back I looked him in the eye. "I think, well, I believe that we wouldn't still be together if it weren't for them. Why is it that they see what we can't see at times? I mean, as much as I LOVE the make up sex, sometimes, we just clash. But they see right through it. I guess maybe it's better to have an overall look outside and not just be in it..."

"Wow Bren, you talk a mile a minute." I grinned up at him and pressed my lips tenderly to his before relaxing again and sighing softly. "But Alex and Spence, they see what we don't because they're not in the middle of it. They can have a rather unbiased opinion on the whole thing, see both sides, and Alex knows me enough to cut through to the heart of what I'm feeling and Spence does the same for you."

I twirled a lock of Brendon's hair around my finger and tugged on it gently. "I imagine, if the two of them actually got into a relationship they'd have clashes just like we do and then we'll be the ones on the outside looking in who can cut through straight to the point and help them work through things like they've helped us." I shrugged a little and smiled. "Could you imagine them in a relationship? I mean really?"

Chuckling at the thought, I let my eyes slide closed as I relaxed on the bed and against Brendon. "I honestly don't know if they could ever last in a relationship though. I mean, they're like...screwing around, having sex, no strings attached or anything. I mean, can you really see that turning into a relationship? Spence will be at one school with a bunch of guys who are going to catch his attention. And since Alex is his first relationship with a guy and all...he could get tempted and get involved with someone else."

I chewed on my lip in thought. "For that matter..." I looked back up at Brendon. "The same could happen to you, you know. I'm your first and you're going to go to college with lots of other gay men and all and you may end up with someone else..." I bit my lip and furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at Brendon. "It's possible."

"THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SAY! On the outside looking in." I giggled. "I just couldn't think of it, but yea, that's true!" I laughed again, trying to calm down and bring Ryan's body back to me. "Neh, I couldn't see those two in a relationship, as much as I would like it. Cause, you know, I am selfish and it will just make things easier for double dates. And what if someone invites Spencer over and Alex is there with another guy...and then they are like." I let my mouth drop in the shape of an 'oh' then slapped my head. "Ok, I really need to stop!"

Pressing further into Ryan, I bit his neck, thinking about what he had said. Would I ever do that to him? I mean, I knew he was my first everything, but I liked him a lot. "Ry..." I met his eyes. "The thing is. I could have easily found someone else before you. I mean, I know when you met me I was a nervous wreck. And I didn't know really which way was up or where I was going." I sighed.

"But, I worked in a food court at the mall. And I saw and see guys there all the time that I think are attractive or cute, or at one time thought, 'hey, they could be boyfriend material'. And at the time, I would have made myself ready to do that, you know. But, it wasn't until I found you and you made me think and challenge myself that I knew that it was something more than just a crush."

"I fell for you almost the moment I heard your voice. I could have hung up the phone. I could have gotten off and never called back again. Hell, I could have walked away from the first time I ever saw you. But...I didn't. You made me think about things in ways I had never thought before. You, you...you were what I needed and what I need. And what I want. And always will."

"Brendon, you can't say always. You've just graduated high school, you're going to college in the fall, there are a lot of changes that you're going to go through in your life and with yourself. The same can be said for me over time. And now, now you know what its like, you know what sex is like, you know a relationship..." I sighed softly and combed my fingers through his hair again.

"It is always a possibility, Bren. It always will be a possibility that you'll meet someone else, someone new, someone you fall in love with. It's possible. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to happen, but it is possible. Just because you met me now and I am what you needed and wanted and what you need and want now doesn't mean that in three years time that's going to be what you want or need anymore."

I shrugged a little and sighed softly. "You never know what's going to come in the future Bren. You and I could be together for years upon years or we could be together only for another a few months. We can't predict it and we can't say that it'll never happen. You are going to meet people, you're going to meet lots of people..." I sighed and shook my head before pressing my lips against his.

After letting the kiss linger for a while, I pulled back and looked into his eyes. "You'll be tempted toward other guys. You'll be tempted to kiss, and touch, and fuck them. You'll be tempted to give other people a chance with you." I caressed his cheek softly and smiled at him. "Its natural...most gay boys sleep with at least a handful of men...you may not be most of them though."

I twisted my lips as I looked over at him. I didn't want to think of it like that. I didn't want to ever let him go, or even think about my life without him. I shook my head. "I'm not going to talk like that Ryan. When we were driving from home to here after hearing you were in a wreck that was all I thought about. What if...the what if's I had lost you. And I don't want to even put that thought in my head again."

I gulped, licking my lips, then moving to press my side against him, my leg going between his. "I'm not an idiot Ryan. And I know you know I am not. I know that one day all of this might come to an end. And I just...I don't want to think about that. Is there something wrong with that? I'm not in denial...I just never want to have to imagine my life without you again Ryan. When you were...when the wreck... I was so fucking tore up the whole ride and when I saw you lying there unconscious. And never, ever again will I think back to what life would be like without you."

"I know there is a future and I know our lives and my life will change in the next year. But, I also know that you will be there with me to ground me. You will be my rock and that stable place I can go to when everything goes up in the air. And I hope you know that I will do the same for you. I'm not expecting you to do anything different than you have already done. You are simply perfect."

I pressed my lips to his, hard to begin with, then opened my mouth and sucked in his tongue with less force. My hands tightened around him as my body molded into him more and more. I wasn't going to think about the day we would be apart. I just wasn't.

I let Brendon shut me up with probably the only proven way to do so and I gave in to the kiss, just letting myself get lost in him and trying to lose the train of thought so that it wouldn't upset him or myself further. It was all true and it was all possible, but he was right, thinking about it wouldn't exactly help the situation so it was best not to think about the what ifs.

After a while, I pulled away and looked up at him. I nodded and licked my lips before pecking him gently and softly and pulling away again. "Okay. I'll let it go, Bren..." I smiled and closed my eyes again, sighing softly. "I'm sorry...I guess I just think too far ahead sometimes and too seriously sometimes. Too much of a realist at times I think. I'm not totally why I do it, but I just start the thought and it follows me, or rather I follow it until it goes no further."

With another smile I sighed and pulled back again, frowning as I felt the need to lie on my back. We had Alex's bed so we had more room but I felt bad for the two of them who had to share what had been my bed. I shifted away from Brendon a little and laid on my back because it hurt at the curve. "Sorry, my back is bothering me a little, it's the cast and everything." I frowned and shrugged a little, reaching over for Brendon's hand.

"I don't want to pack, Bren. I don't want to pack and go home..." I pouted a little.

I smiled. "I know you are and that's why I love you. You can worry enough for the both of us. And how about, instead of packing, you roll over for me." He gave me a quizzical look and I let out a small laugh, and followed it with a huge grin. "Not like that, it's just, we got all that stuff the other day, and maybe I can help out that back of yours."

Hopping off the bed, I rummaged through some of Ryan's stuff, pulling out the bottle of massage oil from his bag, then doing the same with the lube, you know, just in case. By the time I was moving back to the bed, he was already on his stomach and I crawled up it, straddling his open backside, and landing my bum right below the curve of his own.

"So, I really don't know what I am doing..." I laughed as I open the oil and poured some on his back, giggling as it splattered and slid, and Ryan tensed up from the cold sensation. "Sorry." I mumbled. "I'll warm that up for you." Setting the bottle aside, I ran my hands through the cool liquid, warming it up almost instantly between my hands and his back. I started out low, keeping my thumbs touching as I pressed into his thin back, my fingers digging and grooving into his muscles.

I leaned forward pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, letting it linger as my fingers slipped up to his shoulder blades and then back down to where our skin met again. I kept my lips on him, kissing on along his neck and shoulder.

My eyes slid closed as Brendon's hands and lips were on me. It felt amazing, it felt wonderful and was definitely something I could get used to and enjoy more often. He and I hadn't done the sensual naked massage before, and if going to a sex shop and buying massage oil was going to inspire him to do things like massage my naked skin on a regular basis, I was going to be taking him to a lot more sex shops and buying massage oil on a much more regular basis.

Actually, I was thinking of having a bottle permanently on my bedside table for inspiration.

"Mmm...Bren...that feels....amazing." I licked my lips a little and just let myself relax further into the bed and under Brendon's ministrations. Even if he didn't really know what he was doing, he was doing a good job. I could feel the muscles relaxing some already and he'd only been touching me for a few moments.

"You know..." My voice was soft and low. "Maybe I should send you to massage school so you could learn the right technique to perfect this and then you can practice on me whenever you want...I'd be a very very willing guinea pig for this sort of learning." I smiled to myself as I felt his hands just sliding over my skin and I shifted just every so slightly beneath him. I wished that I didn't have the cast on so that he could massage my entire naked body and spend hours doing so.

"God...I'm not sure I'm going to be able to walk after this..."

I grinned, keeping my hands on him, but reaching to bite at his hair and tug at it. I knew it probably hurt, but hopefully my fingers were evening out the good and bad. Pressing my teeth back to his neck while my hands fisted and I kneaded his back, like I had seen Phoebe do on Friends. I smiled at the thought. I didn't need a teacher, I would just watch reruns of that!

Biting his shoulder, I pulled back. "You know, we could..." I started singing. "Stay in bed and just make love that's allllll, oh, allllll" I smiled at the song, thinking of Jepha and Quinn. Wait, What? I had a sexy boy beneath me. But that didn't take away from the fact that they too were hot. I continued to hum the song while I pushed into his skin, feeling the muscles beneath me relax.

I moved to place my bum on his lower back, giving me better access to his shoulders. Once I was positioned, I gripped them tightly, my thumbs and fingers applying the same amount of pressure to his bones and body. He seemed to loosen up as I did so, which was good. See, maybe all that time he was hurt and on pain medication, I should have just given him massages...

"Who says I need classes? We can get some tapes, and I can do it with you every time, no need for the middle man or other people, just you and I and some oil!" I smiled, satisfied with the shoulders, then laid my body on top of his momentarily. "Why are you so tense? Oh, and, did you really think you could go this entire week without me seeing you naked? That is just plain torture!" I teased, sitting up again, my chest covered in oil.

I chuckled softly and sighed, licking my lips a little. "Mmm...well, just because I got the tattoo doesn't mean you weren't going to see me naked...although...I might have tried to figure out ways so that it was dark when you saw me so you wouldn't actually see the tattoo until I was ready to show you." I turned my head the other way and snuggled deeper into the pillow. "Our game seemed to have taken care of that though..."

Biting my lip, I remembered our game of truth or dare. It had certainly turned out quite interesting, that was for sure. I got more intimate with Spencer's body than I had ever thought I would considering he was my boyfriend's best friend, not to mention just someone not my boyfriend. And then there was being naked with Alex, feeling his skin on mine while my boyfriend was sitting across from us and watching us and all. Honestly I was a bit surprised the night hadn't turned into something either resembling some sort of orgy or a switch up of partners.

I had to admit, the idea of sleeping with Spence was intriguing.

"And I don't know why I'm so tense, Bren. Maybe there's just a lot going on in my head that I can't really bring to mind. I don't know, its weird I guess. I must be stressing over something...maybe the whole moving home, moving into the condo, going back to school and everything. I shouldn't be worried about it though because Alex'll be there and you'll be around." I shrugged my shoulders a little and looked over my shoulder the best I could. "Are you done?"

"I see, I see." I muttered since he couldn't really see me nod. "Understandable. But, I've got you now, for a moment, even, so no worries." I climbed off his body, and reached for the lube. "Yea, I'm almost done, just one more swipe around." Using one hand, I rubbed up his back while the other undid the bottle of lube. Smiling at the scent of watermelon that immediately escaped it, I managed to squirt some into my hand.

"I'm just going to see something..." I stated as I bit my lip, squirting the pink substance on Ryan's bum as sort of a palette. I laid down on the bed, my elbows holding me up. Moving closer to his spread legs, I circled his hole with the fruity goo, then lapped at it with my tongue. Hmm, not too bad. I think flavored lube was definitely a good idea. I was always weird about, you know, licking someone there, just cause, um, HELLO, that was where, well, you know what normally comes OUT of that...

Leaning forward more, I placed my right index finger into the liquid, making sure it was covered as I brought it back down to where my tongue was. Tracing a circle, I pressed in with my tongue right beside it. There was too much tension, so I continued to move my finger in and out as I used my left hand to get some lube on my middle finger. In doing so, I managed to slide both fingers inside him, curling down against the mass that was trying to force me out.

With my fingers spread, I stuck my tongue back to the tight hole, then pulled back. "I honestly don't think watermelon had ever tasted so good."

I groaned and bit into my lip as my hands gripped onto the pillow. I buried my face into the softness of it and let out another groan as my hips shifted against the bed. "Mmm...fuck....Bren..." My eyebrows furrowed into the pillow and I squirmed a little, without trying to pull away.

I certainly hadn't expected Brendon to suddenly turn around and start rimming me, let alone anything else sexual. Although a naked sensual massage right after waking up was sure to turn sexual in some manner. I groaned again and took a shaky breath. It felt so good. My body felt so good. Whatever had gotten into Brendon to be willing to try new things, I liked it, and I wanted it to continue. I couldn't stop the moans and groans from dripping from my mouth as long as he continued his attentions.

A knock on our door distracted me momentarily before I heard Alex's voice. "Okay you two, we're up and we're hungry, and I'm talking about real food, not sexual hunger. You two fuckers need to get up now so we can have breakfast! Then we gotta pack all your shit up and most of my shit to send home with you guys. No sex before breakfast unless you want us to join you!"

He knocked on the door again and I could hear Spence giggling beside him. I was pretty sure it was mere moments before they just walked into the room and interrupted us. "And I want some fucking clean clothes! Mine have Spence sweat all over them and they're just plain nasty!" I heard Spence say something very offended and then Alex's voice telling him he was only joking and they weren't that nasty.

I pulled back, then laid my head on Ryan's backside out of defeat. FUCK! Right in the fucking lube! I groaned, which I guess was a signal for them to come in, cause that was exactly what they did.

"FUCK BREN!" I heard Spencer yell, then laugh. "Cover yourself up!"

I growled as I grabbed the blankets and pulled them up with me while Ryan turned around under my protective shield. I looked at Ryan and pouted, pointing to the lube on my face. "Now I'm all sticky and so are Alex's sheets!" A smile grew on my face. It was payback for him...JUMPING ON THE FUCKING BED WITH US!

So here Ryan and I were. Having a fucking fabulous time, and Cheech and Chong over there walk in on us and fucking...kill the mood, and jump on the bed! "Jesus guys!" I pouted again. "You sure know now to ruin the moment...."

"Aww, poor Bren..." Spencer laughed from the other side of Ryan. Alex was on my side. He reached out and patted my face. "What the fuck?!?!?!"

"It's watermelon!" I grinned. Spencer wiped it on Ryan's blanket, which was very close to his obvious hardon. I looked at Ryan again and mouthed. "Sorry." And looked over to Alex. "If you guys are so hungry, why don't you go back out there and figure something out for us to eat. And then, yea, we will be out like, as soon as possible."

"Sooner than later, cause you know Bren won't last long!" I flipped him off as he laughed, holding his stomach.

Alex flopped down onto the bed and shrugged. "Oh, c'mon, you naked isn't something we haven't seen before. I mean, don't forget the other night when we were all sitting around naked and perfectly comfortable with it. What, a day and a half later it's bad to be naked around each other?" He smirked and picked up the edge of the blanket and peeked under. "Personally I prefer the nakedness."

His eyes flicked up to mine and he winked. I shook my head and laughed as I reached over to give him a little slap. "Shush you. And if you really prefer the nakedness, why aren't the two of you naked?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Maybe we thought it'd be more fun to get naked with you guys then to walk in here already naked. I mean, Bren seemed to have really enjoyed pulling off Spence's pants with his teeth, maybe he should do that again."

I shook my head and glanced over at Spence, my eyes dancing a little. Sure, it was frustrating getting walked in on in the middle of something that could have turned into a lot more, but I could deal with it until later, or until they left. The more we tried to get them to leave the more likely it was that Alex would stick around and make it more difficult for us to do anything other than sit and talk with the two of them.

"As for food, well, we decided we wanted to go out for breakfast since I pretty much forgot to go shopping for anything other than soda and like...necessities, like popcorn and smart food and cookies." He gave me that innocent angelic look that worked as well as a halo on a demon.

I reached over to tug on a lock of his hair. "You would have soda, popcorn and cookies and that's all, Lex. You're like a kid when you go grocery shopping." My hand moved up to rest onto Brendon's side under the blanket. I really didn't care if we were covered or not, they'd already seen it all, but still, there was something to be said for a little of doing things under cover.

Laughing I smiled down at Ryan, and relaxed a little. "Ok, so how about we hang out in here for a few minutes, and let me and Ryan, sort of, chill down a little." I looked over at Alex. "It's not that I am worried about being naked with you." Here it was, it was time for me to be frank. Ooh...Frank...ok, not helping the boner situation. "It is more like the fact that I was getting my boyfriend off. And now, I am lying here as hard as he is, and our best friends are sitting opposite of us."

I nodded to him and looked at Spencer. "Oh yea, and don't forget, you have lube on your face!"

Sneering at him, I narrowed my eyes. "And yes, that too." Glancing back at Alex, I continued. "Oh, and we also now have lube and oil..." I shook my head, my eyes meeting Ryan's. I smirked and winked at him, my lower half pressing into his. If they were watching, they would have noticed. And well, even if they did. Who gave a fuck? I was hard and so was my boyfriend. And I knew that both of us needed to get off.

I wonder what would happen if we did put on a show for them? I mean, if I continued to rock into Ryan until he was close to coming? I knew if they tried to join in, it would be over. I just wanted about fifteen minutes awake and alert and alone with my boyfriend. But, I guessed that was a lot to ask in a small apartment. Maybe next time we should lock the door.

I bit my lip at the thought, then pressed my hips back onto Ryan. "So, your door to your bedroom in your new place, it has a lock, right? And maybe even a dead bolt that can't be opened with a paper clip?" Grinning, I lowered my lips to his and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip between my teeth.

I sucked in a breath as Brendon pushed his hips into mine and I gripped onto his sides tightly and tried to respond to him. "Yeah...lock...door...no deadbolt though..."

Alex chuckled and shook his head beside us and looked over at Spencer. "So I think they're very naked and I think we're interrupting. Should we stay and enjoy the show, copy them beside them or actually give them some time and space away from our prying eyes and ears? Personally I don't think you can go anywhere in this building without hearing, seeing well, that's a different story, but hearing is pretty much a given."

I looked over at Alex and reached out to slap him gently. "Shush. Take your toy and go...make breakfast or something, Lex. Give us...like...ten minutes at least? Please? If you love me at all, give me ten minutes?"

He nodded a little and looked over at Spencer. "Okay, Spence, we're to clear the bedroom premises, even though it is mine." He leaned over and pecked Bren's temple before leaning in and kissing the corner of my mouth. "Have fun you two, but not too much fun. I don't think Spence and I want to hear it like we're in the room with you." He winked before climbing off the bed and tugging Spencer with him out the door.

I waited until the door was closed before leaning up and pressing my lips intently to Brendon's.

I kissed back as hard as I could. "Fucking finally!" I mumbled against his lips, pulling the sheet up a little to get my hand in between us again. "I know we don't have time, but I uh..." My words turned into a moan as connected with his lips again, trying to drown it out. Reaching for the lube, I picked up the bottle, pulling back from Ryan's open mouth, and squirted some on my fingers.

Tossing the closed container across the room, I moved my hand between his spread legs, sliding two fingers inside him, as I covered his mouth with my own. Once the initial push was in, I pulled my chest off his, looking down between us. Smiling, I leaned down against his lips. "Not time, to be inside you, but, I want to touch you...." Trailing off, I thrust against his cast then rotated just slightly to hit his crotch. "You have to, you have to touch us." I bit my lip, pleading with his eyes as I rubbed my nose with his, and our mouths meet, open. And wet. And hungry.

I tugged on his bottom lip, feeling his hand snake between us. Sure, we could hump all morning, but we had ten minutes, and ten minutes would not get us off in time. My fingers curled inside him, as best as the resistance would allow, pressing deeper and hard against this prostate. Personally, I wished my lips and tongue where back where my hands were, but there was really nothing I could do about it. Plus, if they were, what would drown out his moans? Alex was right, we most likely could be heard throughout the whole complex.

I laughed at the thought, using my free arm to balance me as I rocked harder into his hand.

Groaning into Brendon's mouth, I moved into his hand and tried to move my hand against him and against myself. I tried to hold onto him and just let everything go without thinking about Alex and Spence on the other side of the door, hopefully not trying to eavesdrop on me and Bren. When things are brought to your attention though it's kinda hard to forget about them or ignore them. And because of that, I couldn't help but imagine the two of them sitting outside the door to the bedroom and listening and perving on the two of us.

I pulled back from the kiss and looked up at Bren, breathing heavily and hard as I continued to move my hand against the two of us, trying to move things along, trying to get him off, as well as get myself off as well. I knew we needed to get moving. I got my breath back and immediately pulled him back down to kiss him deeply again.

My hips shifted against his hand and I lost coordination as his fingers thrust against that spot inside me. I groaned deeply and loudly and stopped moving everything but my hips as they pushed back against his hand.

Smiling into the kiss, I slid my fingers in and out of him, letting them fuck him while sucking on his tongue and rocking into his hand. I was so close. And oddly enough, the thought of Alex and Spencer right outside brought me closer. I had to pull back for a breath as I stared down at him, his lips swollen and red, his cheeks flushed, his neck strained. Just that glimpse brought me nearer to the edge.

I felt his body arch and shudder beneath me as my fingers continued to thrust against his prostate. My wrist began to get sore as I kept my movements sharp and exact as our breathing got louder, so loud that kissing could not control it all. "Close..." I strained to speak, our hips meeting at his hand, the sound of skin on skin, heavy breathing, and my lubed fingers moving in and out of him filled the room, echoing off the walls.

My chest tightened as I curled my toes. Allowing my head to fall to his collarbone, I bit the skin there as his hand all but milked my orgasm out of me. Lifting my head, right as I came, my fingers pressed harder and stronger into him letting go. He followed moaning my name not long after. I collapsed on top of him. My fingers still deep inside him, his hand still between us. We both just laid there and breathed, knowing we had at least five minutes to recoup.

I don't know about him, but I didn't think I would have gotten off that quickly had we not been interrupted. As much as I wasn't a fan of more than one person in the room as I was getting my boyfriend off, for some odd reason, them being only a door away made it even hotter for me. Maybe it was the thought of being caught. Maybe it was from playing truth or dare the other night. I wasn't sure, I mean, it still didn't change that fact that a threesome or foursome was nowhere in the near future, but, it turned me on none the less.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Brendon and I left Ryan and Spencer to do some packing while we headed out to get lunch for the four of us. It really wasn't going to take that long for all of Ryan's stuff and much of mine to get packed, so I wasn't really all that concerned with leaving the two of them alone with it for a while, but we needed to all eat and I hadn't gone grocery shopping for food. I figured between Brendon and I we had both of the other two covered for likes and dislikes. Worst case scenario we'd get back to find the two of them curled up in bed sleeping instead of packing.

I glanced over at Brendon as we walked down the street. We were going to get food from a restaurant that wasn't too far away, I figured it wasn't worth driving since it wasn't all that far away. Anyway, it made a nice distraction and diversion to walk and get some time to talk.

Shoving my hands into my pockets, I looked up the street before back over at Brendon. "So, Bren, what are you planning for Ry's birthday? I mean, it's coming up really soon. Like, really really soon. You're going to make a pretty big deal out of it, right?" I quirked my eyebrow toward him before returning my gaze to the sidewalk in front of us.

I shrugged as I kicked a rock on the sidewalk. It was hot out and the sweat was already forming around my hair. “I don't know. I know for sure we are doing dinner over at his parents' house, something about a special dinner his mom wants to make. And I was thinking a movie or something, well, maybe not a movie.”

I paused as a lady walked straight between us, not even saying excuse me. What the hell ever, how could Ryan like LA, these people were rude. Sighing, I looked over at Alex. “I was thinking something fun and on our feet, cause well, he gets his cast off before then, and I would like to take full advantage of that! That's for sure!”

Smiling at Alex, we stopped as we waited for a light to change and traffic to stop so we could cross the street. “We might have to take full advantage of the new place to, you know break it in a little.” I joked, winking at Alex as we made it safely across a few lanes of traffic. “I'm not sure though. It is his first birthday with me, obviously, I really just want to spend it with him, however he wants it, you know? Oh, are you going to be back yet?”

I shrugged a little as we stepped back onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street. "Well, it looks like I either come back that day of the day after. I figured I could come back on his birthday, give him a little birthday surprise, ya know?" He smiled and looked over at Brendon. "I think he said he'd already be in the condo by then so while you guys are at his parents' house I can always set my shit up in my room and surprise him with being there when you guys get back."

Looking at Brendon I raised my eyebrows. "We could give him a surprise party unless that would interfere with you taking advantage of his newly castless leg. Although, maybe me coming home on his birthday would do the same thing, so maybe I should wait until the next day to come home, or to let him know I'm home."

I really wanted to be home for Ry's birthday, but I didn't want to be in the way since I already knew that half the time I was in the way anyway. I was honestly surprised, sometimes, that Brendon even liked me or put up with me because of how big of a fixture I was in Ryan's life and how important I was to him. Sometimes I was sure Brendon had to consider me an opponent for Ryan's attention and love, not that that was what I wanted. I love Ryan that was certain, but I was learning that I had to eventually let go some since we weren't together anymore. I was always going to be a part of his life though, and that meant a part of Brendon's too for as long as they were together, I just hoped Brendon could live with that.

“No, that's good.” I smiled to Alex. “It would be a huge surprise, and I'm sure you guys like to spend each other's birthdays together. I like the idea of the day with him. And then, a surprise could be good, like a party, but you think we have enough time for that? I mean, to get it all together. You obviously know most of his friends, and of course the band can come on over.”

Biting my lip, I thought about the people that could come. I honestly was looking forward to a night alone with Ryan, but I could have, well, a lot of nights with him, maybe not alone, because Alex will be there most of the nights, considering he lived there too. This was going to be an interesting school year. At least Ryan wouldn't have to worry about missing Alex though, now missing LA could occupy his time.

“He does deserve something big cause of the wreck and all that stuff, so yea, a party should be good, I think. What were your ideas? Have you thought about it, or are you just bringing it up right now?” Looking at him to wait for an answer, I waved to a random driver who slammed on their horn while driving, like that helped the situation, it was pretty ridiculous if you asked me.

Again I shrugged a little as we continued to walk. "Well, I thought about it a little, but I didn't really have a lot of ideas. I mean, I bet a lot of the people from here would love to come up to Vegas to celebrate Ry turning another year older. So, after you guys leave I could pass it around that we're throwing him a surprise party and they're all invited. I could even bring it up to some of the bands and see if any of them would want to play for the party."

I chewed on my lip ring for a few moments as I thought about it. Fall Out Boy was probably out of the question, they were too big and probably wouldn't ever play a house party, even though it was for Ryan. I wasn't sure I should even let them know about it because if Pete showed up Brendon would probably be pissed off. But I thought maybe Landsdowne or someone who was a lot smaller of a band. Then again we'd have to check to make sure that was okay with the neighbors and all.

"If you're doing dinner at his parent's house then while you're off doing that Spence and I and anyone else around could set up the house for the party."

“Yea, that sounds like a good idea! And of course everyone likes to party in Vegas, even though it is a 20th birthday party and not on the Strip.” I laughed as we neared a restaurant. “This it?” I asked, not trying to change the subject, but I didn't want to walk past it.

Alex nodded, so I opened the door for him. We waited in line, my body shivering from the huge difference of heat and cold. “That would be cool though, yea, it's your place, so as many people as you feel comfortable with. Spencer, of course doesn't have a job, so he can do almost anything, really.” I laughed as we progressed in line.

“I think Ryan will be pleasantly surprised. I'm sure it will live up to all his birthdays. His parents seem like the type that doesn't just skip out on birthdays or holidays, so I'm sure this one won't be any different.” I smirked, nodding my head to the counter as we were now at the counter.

“What do you want?” I asked as I looked up at the menu. They had a lot of vegetables for me, and meat for Spencer, so I think the two of us were set. I was sure Ryan and Alex had been here plenty of times and know what they were getting.

"I think I'm getting the Pad Thai for Ry because that's his favorite, but without shrimp, he likes it with just chicken and for me...hm...cashew chicken." I grinned as I placed the order and pulled out my wallet, letting Brendon place his order as well before paying for it and going over to sit down and wait for them to call our order. It was certainly one of our favorite restaurants in the city, which was why I was glad I didn't have any food in the apartment and could get it one last time for Ryan.

"Nah, Ry's parents are pretty big on his birthday. They tend to go all out with an extra special dinner. I'm usually invited to it, but I guess this will be the first year I'm not there. I'll have to make some sort of an excuse to his parents, or just tell them the truth that I'm surprising him at the house later." I nodded, deciding in that instant not to lie to his parents but just tell them the truth. I knew they wouldn't let it slip to him but they'd try to keep him from being too depressed that I wasn't there for dinner.

"Are you okay with inviting everyone and anyone that he made friends with here in LA to the party? I know he didn't have many friends at school and you guys and the band are probably the only other people he'd really want there. But the guys from here and the internship and some of the bands and all, I think I'd like to invite them even if they can't or don't all come."

I felt a little bad about mentioning that I was invited to dinner when it seemed like a tradition for Alex to go. Ryan had asked me to go, he didn't say anything about Alex being there, not that I cared, but it seemed like, that, ok Alex could go. I understood and was all about traditions, and I didn't want to impose, that was not my intent, but I thought maybe, his parents wanted me there, since I was his boyfriend, simply because he didn't have a boyfriend before. I could be wrong. Maybe I was just invited because Alex wasn't around.

I wasn't going to dwell on it at all, especially since it would be pointless to do it. Instead I watched a couple argue over what they were ordering, then thought about Alex's questions. Pouting out my lip, I shrugged at him. It was weird having a conversation with Alex like this. Normally his time was preoccupied with Spencer or Ryan or work. Hell, I hadn't been alone with him since... Visions of him cold and naked and crying in the shower flashed into my head. No wonder it had been so awkward for me. There were so many parts of that weekend that I had pushed in the back of my mind and tried to forget about.

Unlike Alex, I got to be with Ryan almost everyday after his wreck, I got to watch him heal, and hold him at night, and take care of him. I got some sort of closure. Alex didn't. Licking my lips, I took in his profile. "Sure yea, I'm sure, uh, I'm sure that anyone we mention Ryan's name to will come, and the more the merrier, right?" Turning towards him, my knee hit his, once I received eye contact, I asked. "How are you? I mean, since, you know. Like, with Ry and all that. How have you been holding up?" I knew this restaurant probably wasn't the place to have this conversation, but I wasn't sure at this rate if we would ever get the chance alone again.

I pulled my knees up and rested my heals on the seat of the chair I was sitting in, wrapping my arms around my knees and resting my head on my knees. I shrugged a little as I looked over at Brendon. "I'll let all the guys from here know all about the party, let them know they can show up if they want, and if not, it'd be cool. I'll leave an open invitation for interns and bands alike before I leave..." I furrowed my eyebrows slightly and then shook my head. "Actually, I'll let them all know about it on Monday."

My eyes slid closed and I just listened to everyone around us for a moment before responding to Brendon's questions. I opened my eyes to look at him so he knew I wasn't ignoring him. "I'm fine. Why, does something seem wrong or something? Do I not seem okay?" I was a little put off that he was asking me how I'd been holding up. Brendon cared about Ryan, sure, he'd helped me get through that time when I thought I was losing my best friend, but other than that, Brendon cared about Ryan, not me. No, if anyone cared about me, other than Ryan of course, it was Spencer.

I shook my head again and looked around, sighing softly. The truth was I was doing okay for the most part, but there was still that part of me that couldn't shake the sinking feeling that I was going to lose my best friend. The accident, if anything, had solidified the belief I'd come to have that Ryan meant the world to me and I didn't want to live without him in my life. Spencer was good, and in many aspects he was probably good for me, for my relationship with Ryan, and for Ryan's relationship with Brendon. But in the end my decision to move back to Vegas was made because of Ryan, it was made because I almost lost him and in some ways I still felt like I was losing him. A part of my life revolved around my best friend, I was okay with that, I wasn't sure everyone else was.

"No, I mean, I just..." I stopped, cleared my throat and sighed. "You seem to be holding up well. But anyone can put up a shield if they have to or need to. I know that from personal experience." I looked down at my fingers, flicking them against my shorts. "But, I was just wondering, I know you two had some time together when Spence came up a few weeks ago, and I really haven't been alone with you in a while."

"I, I know it's not any of my business. I was just wondering. Like, I couldn't imagine not being with Ryan in those weeks after. And I am just a boyfriend, I mean, you..." Still picking at my shorts, I took a deep breath. "I don't know. I know that if it were Spencer or my cousin or something, I would be... Hell, I don't even know what I would be. But, I guess, like I told Ryan, the people at the internship were so good to him and for him, I could only assume they were there for you even more."

I watched as the group who was at the front of the line when we got here being called to pick up their food, signifying it should be a few more minutes. "I guess what I am saying or trying to say or show is that ca..." I licked my lips. "You are important to the two main people in my life, and I don't want us to not be able to talk to each other, you know? I don't want you to think that I only hang out with you by association or because we need each other's help for something. Like, I am hearing to listen too. Because, in some way, not a big way or anything, but when it comes to Ryan, I am going through it too."

I looked over at Brendon and just looked at him for a few moments, it was a little weird for him to be saying those things because people rarely said anything of the sort to me, but I could tell it was genuine. Nodding a little, I reached over and put my hand on top of his. "Thanks, Bren." I licked my lips and glanced up at the counter, just trying to get thoughts organized before speaking because one thing I couldn't do was to cause issues between me and Brendon since he was such a big part of Ryan's life.

"I'm dealing. Honestly, after everything, when his parents took him home, I broke. If it weren't for a few of the guys here I probably wouldn't have made it through that time without him." I sucked in one of my lip rings before continuing. "No one ever understands my relationship with Ryan, and I understand how they couldn't, they haven't been a part of it since we were small children. They haven't been there through everything that we've gone through together. The idea of losing someone who is pretty much half my life just tore everything apart. I was so close to throwing everything away here and returning home to be with him."

Shaking my head, I hid my face in my legs and just sat there for a little while. "He had you though. And Spence. And Spence seemed to have made it his job to try and keep me sane. Except I think while he was keeping me sane it was driving me and Ry apart because I didn't want to burden Ry with what I was dealing with, so Spence heard it and Ry started to feel unimportant..." My hand on my jeans gripped hard because I knew what it had done to him. I looked back at Brendon. "I don't want to get in the way of you and him, or have him in the way of me and anyone else, but he's half my life and he's so important to me and he's the reason I'm moving home. I need him in my life. Being here has been driving me crazy without him."

I placed me hand around his shoulder, sliding until my leg was flush with his. "Alex." I mumbled so he would look at me. Once he did, I smiled. "I know you are not. Ryan has told me how much you mean to him and so have Spencer and Ryan's mom for that matter. And so have you. And I would like to believe that from hearing all that that I have somewhat of an understanding of it."

"Never, since I found out that you were moving back did I actually think that you were trying to get in the way of us. I would be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind, and that I didn't get jealous of it. But that is something that I am dealing with. I know you both mean the world to each other, on a completely platonic level. And, sometimes, yes, it is hard for me to understand, because I don't have something like that in my own life."

Gripping his shoulder tighter, I shook him lightly. "And I know Spencer feels the same. Spencer would never ever let you choose him or go to him before Ryan. Unlike me, Spencer is the most unselfish person in the world. And in my defense, I have never been in this situation. Hell, Spencer has been going out with girls since he was thirteen, so he has had his practice. Me though, with Ryan being my first, well...anything, I am trying so hard on distinguishing between other's intentions for Ryan, and I think that is the hardest for me."

"But, for you, I know you are not trying to replace me. Nor am I trying to replace you. What we both have with Ryan are completely different, yet so much the same. But Alex, just, please know that. Know that I don't think you are getting in the way, just as much as I am not trying to get in the way of you."

I nodded a little and leaned in against Brendon, just letting my head rest against him and I let my eyes slip closed. I wasn't usually one to bare my soul or put my emotions out on a platter for anyone and everyone to pick at, but in that moment with Brendon I felt like couldn't do anything but be totally honest with him about everything. I just sat there against him and let myself regain my internal balance. Honestly, I was a little surprised that I hadn't broken down into tears.

Smiling a little I took a shaky breath before sitting back up and letting my feet fall down onto the floor in front of me. "Thanks, Bren. Really, I appreciate it." I smiled over at him as my name was called and I got up, reaching over to take Brendon's hand and help him up too before approaching the counter and grabbing our bag of food. I could just feel the heat radiating out of it and into my hand, it felt good, that was for sure.

"Ready to go back and see how much those two actually got packed while we bought them food?" I grinned and led Brendon out of the restaurant, glancing back at it once because I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be back there and having their food for a while. It made me a little sad realizing that all these things that I loved so much about LA, all the little things like my favorite restaurants, I'd be saying goodbye to soon and probably not getting to enjoy for months, or another year.

"As for the party though...if there's anything you think of that you need to order and plan from home that'd be great. I mean, we need a cake, right? So if you could get the cake and then start thinking about food. I can do some of it while you're at his parents' house, but a lot of it needs to be planned in advance so I can just like set it up and everything. But I can try and help plan if you can make sure most of it is bought before I get home."

CLICK TO CONTINUE TO PART 2