This is Bullshit (58/60)
Title: This is Bullshit (58/60)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: R/E
Summary: An 'after school' visit between two lovers
Disclaimer: If this is real and they've actually done this then Alex is my boyfriend and we're getting married tomorrow.

Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon and Spencer, youbrat is Ryan and Alex. Ryan's pov is blue, Alex's is red, Spencer's is green and Bren's is black.

We've decided to set an ending to this story. Our plan is to make it to chapter 60 and then end it. We are not setting an ending to this because we don't like the story or anything of the sort. We still love this story and it is still very much our love child and we hope you enjoy what we have still in store for you.





I was back to school with a vengeance. The first week of classes were crazy. We didn't do much in them, just went over the syllabus and all that fun stuff. And basically, I was taking all intro freshman classes this semester, and one music class. I was in the marching band for the football team, so I had to take Drumming 101 for the drum-line. It was pretty sweet, it felt almost like the movie.

Being so busy, I didn't get to see Ryan at all. We talked on the phone a few times, he too had started this week. We were still trying to figure out our schedules. Lucky for me, I got a nice preppy roommate who was rushing, and tonight he was going to be out all night with all sorts of Greek activities. We got along fairly well, but he was from Texas, so he was always around.

I called Ryan last night asking him to come over and see my room, knowing Andrew would be gone. Right now I was waiting for him. I had just text him to say the door was unlocked, giving him the room number and directions. Not seeing him for a week was harder on me then I could imagine. Sure, he was just a drive away, but like I said, we were both busy.

I had never been this busy before. It seemed there was somewhere I needed to be, a practice I had to attend, or even a meeting that was mandatory. So when I would come back to my room at night, I would still be wound up. And with my roommate gone, I had taken full advantage of that. Sort of like I was right now...with my legs spread, fingers lubed and knees in my chest.

Waiting, just waiting for Ryan to open the door.

The first week back to classes felt amazing. It wasn't the same amazing as being in LA and doing all the stuff with the internship felt, and I missed that, but it still felt very amazing to be back to normal every day life. With the cast off I had to do a little physical therapy on my own and I tired pretty easily if I had to walk around campus. Since I was technically a commuter now, I could drive and park on campus only walking as much as I wanted or needed to. Luckily for me, most of my classes were in the same building.

I really didn’t spend a lot of time on campus anymore, not like last year. Alex and I had many of the same classes so we would drive in together most days and leave together most days. It saved on gas. Sometimes if one of us didn't have class the other would go anyway just so we both didn't have to drive. We'd spend our lunches at one of the food places on campus, but not necessarily the cafe. Being second years and not living in the dorms we weren't on meal plans like freshman were. We had, however, bought the lowest meal plan possible so if we chose to eat in the cafe we could. Like if Bren was actually free for lunch when I was, I could go up and eat with him. Romantic lunch, huh?

The classes were going great, even just the first week in and being in LA for the summer (or part of it in my case) really helped with some of the courses since we had actual experience now. Living with Alex was a lot of fun. We were planning to have a party at our house as soon as we knew enough people from the college to invite. Of course Alex said that he wanted to make sure Spence came home for it and our friends from outside of school, but we didn't actually have a date for that yet, just a plan.

In the bustle of the first week of classes and getting back into things, I hadn't seen Bren at all. Alex, obviously, hadn't seen Spence either cause Spence had moved up to his school. I was pretty sure Alex was missing him a lot, but he tried not to show it. Either way, I was excited to get to spend a few hours alone with Brendon after a week without him.

I knocked on the door to let him know I was there before opening the door and stepping inside.

I heard Ryan open the door and moved my legs wider. I had already thought about it. My bum was positioned perfectly that when he stepped in past the closets, he could see me, but if the door was open for a while, no one in the hallway could. I arched up as I slid a finger in easily from the practice this week when I was alone. For some reason, simply just jerking off wasn't doing it for me anymore unless I was with Ryan. The new lube was so smooth; I had to test it out.

I moaned, ok, a little over dramatic, but with Ryan stepping into the room, his scent already filled the air around me and that alone turned me on more. "Shh..." I started, my finger curling inside me. "Shut and lock the door please." I bit my lip, still not looking at him, my whole arm almost covered in lube, making my movements, well, messy.

Hoping I was turning him on, I gestured with my free hand for him to come over. I knew watching porn or even seeing Ryan touching himself was enough for me to get hard so I hoped I did the same for my boyfriend. But, let's face it, I was still young and inexperienced. Really, though, who wouldn't get turned on by their boyfriend lying on the bed open for them...slipping another finger in?

I knew I would. Bottom line, Ryan and I talked on the phone, so now we needed to get down to business: physical, raw, sexual business. Talking could happen after.

I raised my eyebrows at the sound of Brendon moaning but did as he asked closing and locked the door behind me before walking toward him and toeing off my shoes. "What’s this, Bren? Couldn't wait for me?"

I stepped up to the bed and reached down turning his head so I could kiss him before pulling back and tugging off my shirt, letting it drop beside me onto the floor. I reached down to undo my pants, shoving them off my hips and kicking them aside before crawling on top of my boyfriend and pulling his hand up to pin it, along with his other by his head. I pressed my body down against his and kissed him hard and hungry, groaning against his mouth as I kissed him and felt his body beneath mine. It felt so good to have his skin touching mine again, not just my own hand.

Pulling back to catch my breath, I looked down at him and smirked a little. He was obviously ready, but I wasn't sure if he was actually ready to have me inside of him, although what I saw when I walked in would have said perhaps he was. I tilted my hips down to rub against him, reaching to pull one of his legs up beside my body so I could feel that much closer to him. I groaned gently and returned to kissing him, not able to keep my lips from his no matter what. I just wanted to kiss him because I hadn't been able to this past week.

I groaned into him, into the kiss and his body on top of me. This was what I needed. This, this closeness, this feeling, this burn in my chest and heat in my stomach. I longed for it all week. I knew there was something missing when I would come back from classes, sometimes I would even double check if my glasses were still perched on my head. It was this though that made everything fall into place. This. Ryan, with me.

Since my hands were still stationed beside me, I thrust up to meet him, feeling his erection rubbing my balls, colliding with my cock. I threw my head back, momentarily disconnecting our lips, then looked back at him. "Fuck, I missed you so much." Having caught him off guard, I wiggled my hands out from under his hold. One pressed at the small of his back, forcing us together, the other massaged his neck to bring his mouth to mine again.

The kiss continued as I rocked opposite my hand at his back now sliding along his crack. It was so much, but it wasn't enough. I had come accustomed to more. I spent the week preparing myself. Not for sex, so much, but for him to touch me. To tease me and massage me and stretch me. I needed his long thin fingers inside me. I needed him to press against my prostate, I needed him to get me off.

"Ry. Please..." I started. I begged. Fumbling around, I found the lube and set it my chest. "Please touch me Ryan. I want to feel you touch me. In me."

I pulled back and looked down at Brendon, making eye contact because the whole 'in me' thing took me a bit by surprise. I licked my lips and nodded slightly before shifting my weight so that I could manage to get some of the lube onto my fingers. Once I'd succeeded, I leaned closer and pressed a deep passionate kiss to his lips before sliding my unlubed fingers down along his body.

Pressing my body against his even more, I leaned slightly to one side, giving my other hand freedom of movement as I slid it between his legs and brushed my fingertips along his body against his opening. Finding the spot, I slipped one long finger inside, slowly, just letting Brendon's body take it and get used to the feeling of having it inside him again. It'd been a while since we'd been like this, so I didn't want to go too fast or abrupt for him.

Using my mouth, I tugged gently on his lower lip as I slipped my finger as deep into his body as I possibly could, just pressing in against him, hoping the tip might perhaps brush against that spot that would put stars behind his eyes. I deepened the kiss and tried to distract him from any discomfort with my mouth and the slight movement of my body against his as I pressed and moved my finger inside him. I waited until I was sure he was ready before adding a second finger to slowly begin to stretch him. I loved the feeling of having my fingers inside him, I loved the power of it because it was still so new to him.

I pulled back to look at him and smiled at the expression on his face. "Bren...are you finally ready to be rid of that pesky virginity?" I smiled and bit my lower lip gently, wiggling my eyebrows just a little.

Thrusting into his hand, I nodded, smiling and straining to feel him inside me. "I am. I mean." I stopped the movements of my lower half, looking at him seriously so he knew I wasn't bullshitting. "I do, Ry. I am ready. Fuck. I just, I want it. I think, I think I all but need it." I groaned as he curled his fingers inside me. "Like now!" He smiled at me and removed his fingers.

Kissing me again, he reached for a pillow behind me. Placing it at my lower back, he put on the condom and lubed himself before he took my legs across his shoulders. I bit my lip as I looked up at him, and he was doing the same. With a short nod, he pressed into me slowly. My whole body froze as my eyes watered. He rubbed my legs, telling me to breathe, to relax, but the tears kept streaming. It was almost like being at the dentist and having the dude tell you to go wider and wider with your mouth. That harsh, pulling, gnawing pain of the muscles.

I continued to listen to his soothing words. Closing my eyes, I remembered how his fingers curled against my prostate as he reached down to grip my cock, trying to bring it back to life. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I controlled my breathing. Soon, the pain dulled. I just wanted to get it over with, so I reached out and shoved his hips flesh with my bum. My back arched as a loud 'ugh' escaped my lips.

Oddly, I felt better once he was inside me. I felt full, to say the least. And warm. I let go of his hips to grip his arms, finally being able to look him in the eye. We held eye contact and I knew at that moment that I could trust him. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. That alone made it ok. Made it better. Made it real. "Mo...move Ry, please..."

I nodded a little, taking a shaky breath as one hand gripped gently into his hair shifting my hips. I slowly started to move out of him, but not all the way, before pushing back. My eyes squeezed close as I thrust into him again, letting my head drop down slightly as I buried myself deep inside him.

It had been so long since I'd been inside someone, it wasn't like it was my first time trying, but it was something I would have to get used to doing. Most of the guys I'd been with in the past had been fairly willing to allow me to be the one having them inside me. It wasn't always, but it was mostly that way, especially with Alex and the random guys I'd hooked up with since. Part of that was my doing. So finally having Bren give himself to me completely without restraint was something I had to get used to again.

"Fuck..." I furrowed my eyebrows a little and bit my lip as I continued my movements, thrusting into him pausing to roll my hips against him once deep inside. I tried to keep to every trick that I'd learned in all my years of enjoying the pleasures of sex, hoping that it would help Brendon in the end.

I shifted Brendon's legs higher against my shoulders, working to hold his legs there as my body moved against his. There was a little strain on me, my arms attempting to hold his legs up while holding myself up, and I used my knees to help as I pushed and thrusted into him. My other hand that wasn't gripping into Brendon's hair was stroking him slowly at times, much more quickly at others. It depended on how much thought process I could manage to branch off from the actual act of thrusting into him.

I let go of him and gripped the sheets. My lower half worked on its own. I wasn't even sure what it was doing, but I felt good at times and bad at others. I fell deeper into the pillow, making a sharp pain shoot up my back. Letting out a yelp, I shook my head at Ryan when he looked at me in concern. Forcing back tears, I reached for the only other pillow on my bed, the one that was holding up my head, and I shoved it under my hips.

That was it. Groaning, I smirked up at Ryan. "Ugh, yes. Better. Faster." I needed more friction. I found a spot where his and my body worked together and I needed more of it. I soon became overwhelmed with the fact that he was inside me. Thrusting into me. Making love to me. It was amazing. I could see why he wanted to be the bottom. But even so, there was a part of me that longed to be the one giving this much pleasure to someone else.

Reaching for his arms again, I used them to anchor and rock with him. To meet his movements and push him deeper inside me. I nearly screamed when he pressed against my prostate. I could feel my precome dripping down my stomach from the position I lay. It was perfect. The best of all worlds with his hands on me, him in me, rubbing against me, and his body working with me.

Together, we kept the same speed and angle for him to stimulate me over and over. And it was all getting too much. My feet began to burn as a cold sweat broke across my body sending shivers down my spine. Grabbing at his hand around my cock, I stroked with him, not caring if it was the right thing to do. I needed to get off. I needed to release. The pressure against that spot inside me was all too much. I spilled across my stomach and chest, moaning his name and rocking with him.

"Don't stop..." I repeated as my body came down from the high. I wanted to feel him release inside me.

I nodded a little as I took a shaky breath again, just seriously wanting to kiss him but finding it a little hard to do with how our bodies were and the fact that Bren wasn't nearly as bendy as I am. My hips thrust into him, pushing into him, making sure to get in as deep as I could. My breath hitched in my chest as the familiar tingle of orgasm washed over me and I found myself tipping over the edge and letting myself go inside him.

After riding it out, I let his legs fall off my shoulders as I collapsed on top of him. I reached down and tugged the pillows from beneath him. Letting them fall beside the bed, I snuggled in against him, resting my head down into the dip beneath his chin. "Mmm...fuck, I haven't done that in...well...years I think."

Smiling, I looked up at him before tugging his head down, probably at an awkward angle for him, and met his lips with mine, just kissing him gently before returning to my previous position. "So...tell me if that was worth waiting for or if you wish you'd waited longer or not at all?"

I spread my fingers out on his chest beside my face and watched them as my head and body moved with each breath he took. It was certainly a relaxing feeling to be just resting and relaxing and to be able to hear his heartbeat and to feel his breathing. I was certainly very much ready for the intimacy of such a moment and felt the desire to take advantage of every chance I got to have it. I was addicted, what could I say?

Groaning lightly from the bottom of my chest, I grabbed his leg, running my hand along the back of it as I pulled his lower half closer to mine. After he slipped out of me, I felt so alone and so empty. I never knew what that feeling was like until it wasn't there and it all clicked. When he was in me, I felt alive and full, now I don't. It wasn't so much like something was missing, just that, that feeling was so amazing.

Rubbing up and down the back of his thigh, I sighed then kissed the top of his head. "Well." I laughed, already getting sleepy from the long week. "Not that I have much to base it on, that was pretty wonderful Ry." I smiled as I swirled my fingers against his skin. "It was definitely worth the wait, um, considering there wasn't much chance before now." I joked then reached for the blankets in case my roommate had to venture back for something.

"It was good." I started, not sure if now was the best time to bring this up. "But, um, is it, is it bad that I like the other position better? I mean, when I am in you, I feel fulfilled and complete once I am done, but now, I lie here and it is like something is missing, and I don't really like that feeling. Like, would it be bad that, I mean, if we didn't do that often? Would that upset you? Cause you know I would do anything for you Ryan, absolutely anything."

I played with his hair now, smoothing the softness through my fingers and we both evened out our breathing. I knew it was bad to think, but I was glad I got it over with. And now, I hoped our relationship could move forward without that heavy weight I allowed to occupy my mind.

I chuckled softly against Brendon and closed my eyes, just resting there and listening to the beating of his heart. I was perfectly happy if he didn't want to regularly bottom, I mean, it may not be for everyone but I certainly enjoyed it. I actually couldn't believe he was even asking since it was pretty much known, or at least I thought it was, that I much preferred being on the receiving end than being on the giving end.

After letting him hang for a few moments, I tilted my head up and looked up at him. "Bren, do you really need to ask that?" I pressed a kiss to the underside of his chin before nuzzling it with my nose. "I would have thought you'd already known the answer to that question, or at least could have figured it out."

I wiggled my eyebrows a little up at him before pulling his lips down to mine, kissing him gently and softly then laying my head back down against his chest. "You should know it won't upset me at all. And if you didn't, you know now. I'm perfectly fine with you not wanting to very often. I happen to be very partial to being on the receiving end of you." I glanced up at him and winked as I ran my fingertips along his sides.

"So, next time we're alone in your room, or in mine, or anywhere else for that matter, you can strip me naked and reaffirm the fact that you're the man in the relationship." I paused for a few moments before chuckling to myself. "Well, sometimes you are, other times you're far more a girl...and a boy instead of a man." I chuckled and nuzzled in closer against him, murmuring quietly. "I've missed being in bed with you this past week. I'm not really sure I enjoy the sleeping in my bed alone aspect of you living in the dorm."

I stuck my tongue out at him and wrapped my arms around tighter. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled all that was Ryan, us, sex and a little bit of nasty cologne my roommate wears. Really, how was it possible that he brought girls back here wearing that shit? Sighing, I ran my fingers down Ryan's skin. I moaned slightly, just being content in his arms.

"I agree. I missed this too. Fuck I missed it so much. But, I tried to keep myself busy with classes so I wouldn't think about it. I even...Here." I pulled over a pillow, placing it under his body. "Use this, I'm going to name it Ryan and you have to get all your Ryanness on it now so when I get lonely, you'll be here." I teased. "Or, I could, you know, skip out of this place, or even call you."

Laughing, I pushed the pillow under him more. "You just smell so fucking good all the time, I don't know how you do it!" I giggled, biting at his skin and sucking on it in mid yawn. Grumbling, I moved my arms back around his body, pressing him against me, my hand slipping down to his bum, resting there. "I hate that I have you here but I'm so sleepy." I looked up at my alarm clock. "At 7:35 on a Friday night..."

Managing to burrow more into him, the air kicked on in the room and soon he was the only warm thing here. "I love you Ry. And I am so glad you are here right now. I hate missing you. But this makes up for everything." I smiled into his hair before yawning again.

I smiled and reached around to pull one of his hands away, moving it with mine and lacing our fingers together before shivering and letting his hand go. I reached down and pulled a blanket up and over us before finding his hand again and lacing our fingers back together again.

"You know, if you have to get out of here, you know you can come to our house at any time. I can't promise silence if it's a weekend and Spence is around, but I can promise my bed and lots of this." I tilted my head to kiss his chest gently before resting my head over his heart again. "My bed and bedroom are always open to you Bren. Well, unless Alex needs to borrow me, then the two of you will have to fight it out, naked and in a pool of pudding."

Grinning, I looked up at him and smirked. "I think that would be beyond hot actually. If that happens we're gonna have to call Spence and have him come down to watch too. I wouldn't want to deprive the boy of the sight!" I giggled and pulled his lips to mine, kissing him gently but firmly before pulling back and sighing softly. "Okay, so now that we actually are back to normal school and shit...I think we need to set some normal dates. Like...every Friday it's either here or mine, even if we just curl up in bed together to sleep."

I closed my eyes as his heartbeat and breathing soothed me making me even more relaxed than I had been. "Mmm...I think it needs to be regular, and maybe more than once a week actually. I don't think I like going all week without a naked boy in bed with me."